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In Search Of Hula, Part 1

4/29/2025

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In Search Of Hula, Part 1

...Continued from previous post:
A few days after Tom's and my arrival in Honolulu some family members would be joining us. Everyone had something they really wanted to do while in Hawaii. Some wanted to go snorkeling.

And some had a hankering to play some beach volleyball.

And we all couldn't wait to hit the great Hale Koa breakfast buffet.

As for me, I wanted to see some hula.
I love hula, the beautiful, expressive dance brought to Hawaii a thousand years ago by the first ancient sea voyagers to arrive on the islands and still alive and present today. Every year that we've visited the island I've try to catch a live hula show, and if we happen to be there the week of the Merrie Monarch Festival, a cultural celebration held every spring in Hilo on the Big Island, then I watch the hula competitions at night on TV.

This year the Merrie Monarch festival happened not to fall on the week of our visit, but this year what I really had my heart set on was seeing the Kilohana Hula show.

The Kilohana Hula Show was inspired by the iconic Kodak Hula Show, a popular free Waikiki attraction that ran from 1937 to 2002 and was sponsored by the Kodak Camera company.

Kodak offered the hula show as an incentive for tourists and locals alike to buy film to take photos of the colorful dancers - which they did, by the millions. According to Kodak officials, only Disneyland and Disney World sold more film than the Kodak Hula Show.
I heard about this new, re-envisioned version of the old Kodak hula show last year when Tom and I spent a few days in Paradise Bay on the lush windward side of O'ahu (see post from 6/9/2024, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/adventures-in-paradise-bay-part-1-valley-of-the-temples-and-other-wonders). We were told about the new Kilohana Hula Show by Danny, a golden-voiced singer of Hawaiian songs who played and sang every night at Paradise Bay.

And so on our next trip to Honolulu, seeing the Kilohana Hula Show was number one on my list of things to do, especially when I learned that some of the Merrie Monarch dancers would be among the performers. I also wanted the whole family to see it, as this was a slice of authentic Hawaiian culture.
Except that I couldn't quite figure out where and when the show took place. I thought that Danny said the show was in Kapiolani Park. I wasn't sure where Kapiolani Park was, but I knew it was somewhere in Waikiki.
But as the time for our trip approached and I looked up the Kilohana Hula Show online I found conflicting information. One site said it was located at the Waikiki Shell, another at Kuhio Beach Park. I wasn't sure where those places were, either, but I figured if I knew which place I was looking for I could find it.
One reputable-looking site called experiencekilohana.com gave this information:

When we arrived at the Hale Koa I asked the worker at the front desk if they knew where the Kilohana Hula Show was, but they didn't know. So I decided I'd do an advance reconnaissance before the family arrived, starting with the Hula Mound at Kuhio Beach, wherever that might be.
The following morning, Wednesday, April 9, we started out the day with breakfast at the Koko at Kalia,

...the Hale Koa breakfast eatery,

...with a beach view,

...and a vast breakfast buffet,

...which included a waffle station with all the fixings,

...and a terrific and terrifically friendly omelette chef.

After our glorious breakfast we headed off in search of the Kilohana Hula Show. According to Google Search, Kuhio Beach was a mile away from us and a 20-minute walk. As we wanted to get there in plenty of time we started out at 8:40 am, crossing DeRussy Beach Park,

...to Kalakaua Avenue, which runs parallel to the shoreline all the way to Kuhio Beach.
Walking along Kalakahua Avenue makes me think of walking through New York City,

The beautiful Bank of Hawaii building

...but with palm trees,

...and with the ocean on one side,

...and mountains on the other.

We reached Kuhio Beach at about 9:10 am,

...and came upon what looked like a mound, mayhaps the Hula Mound, where folks were sitting, mayhaps waiting for the Hula Show,

...so we sat there, too.

By 9:20 am there was no activity around us, which made us wonder if this were not, in fact, the Hula Mound.
We saw some workers nearby so I walked over and asked them if they, by chance, knew where the Kilohana Hula Show was.
One of the friendly workers told me that normally the Hula Show was here where we were, but it hadn't been here all week, though he didn't know why.
This was perplexing. And troubling. I pulled out my phone to try and find out what happened to the Kilohana Hula Show.
I had to scroll down a good ways before I came across a local news article from which I gathered that the Hula Show came to a sudden end the week before. Apparently the original venue of the Kilohana Hula Show was the Waikiki Shell, which is located in Kapiolani Park. But when the Shell went under construction the show moved to the Kuhio Beach Hula mound, which was meant to be a temporary location. However, when the Waikiki Shell reopened the free Kilohana Hula Show was not permitted to return, as the new plan was that the Shell would be used by the Hyatt Regency Waikiki to offer a luau and hula show package with a ticket price of $179 per person.
The Kilohana Hula Show then opted not to continue at the Hula Mound and its members are looking for other performance space options.
I was, to say the least, bummed.
To be continued...

*"Everyone is welcome" is, I think, approximately what this phrase means.

Reference:
https://imagesofoldhawaii.com/kodak-hula-show/

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Feeling The Aloha Again

4/26/2025

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Feeling The Aloha Again

This year once again the sun, moon, stars, finances, and all the other key elements fell into an auspicious alignment, and on Tuesday, April 8, my mate Tom and I were once again on our way to Honolulu, where a few days later we would meet up with some members of our Ohana - Hawaiian for family.
Our flight left Columbus at 6:30 am and two hours later we landed in Minneapolis where we had a two-hour layover, which gave us plenty of time to catch breakfast. Luckily for us Minneapolis, rated the best airport in the whole U.S.A., apparently ranks at the top among airport food options, as well.
We found a cute Tex-Mex place called Zona Cocina,

...that served up a yummy breakfast with the fluffiest, buttery-est eggs.

(Note to self: on the future trips, remember the food and try for layovers in Minneapolis).
At 10:09 am we boarded our next flight and nine hours later we arrived, most gratefully, in Honolulu, with its open-air airport, balmy breezes,

...palm tree views,

...and welcoming message of Aloha, the Hawaiian greeting of peace, love, and friendship.

As soon as we retrieved our luggage we headed over to the car rental area. We'd made a reservation with Enterprise, where the line was considerable.

However, I noted that next door at the National desk there was no line at all. (Note to self: Next time rent with National).

Heading out from the airport it's always a little thrill for me, though I can't explain why, to see the sign, set against the velvety mountains and palm trees,

...with names of places once so far away and exotic, places that once existed for me only in my imagination, but that are now real places to me, places I've been before and where I'll soon be again.

But the best feeling is arriving at the Hale Koa,

...the hotel for active duty and retired military set on Fort DeRussy in Waikiki,

...A U.S. Army post which was once a defense artillery site.

...but is now home to the Daniel K. Inouye Asia-Pacific Center for Security Studies,

...a beautiful beach front park that's open to the public,

...and the Hale Koa.

The best feeling of all is stepping into the Hale Koa lobby, a breezy open-air lanai,

...that looks down over a courtyard,

...where there's a massive and well-loved Indian Banyan tree named Gus;

...and hearing the lovely streaming Hawaiian music,

...and feeling the aloha.

Our 5th floor room,

The view from our room

(And the view at night):

After we settled into our room we followed the conventional wisdom of jumping right into one's time zone. And so, though we'd been up since 3:30 am Columbus time, and it was now 11 pm Columbus time, we nonetheless jumped into Honolulu time, which was 5 pm.
We walked down to the courtyard,

...then strolled the botanical garden on the vast hotel grounds.

The botanical garden opens into another courtyard, where can be found
Happy's Fast & Fresh,

...the Hale Koa short-order eatery where the food is, as promised, fast and fresh,

...and always quite tasty, as well, and where we generally had at least one meal a day out on the pleasant patio.

On this night I had the Tuesday night special, which was delicious pork in mushroom sauce,

...while Tom had an equally good seafood salad.

After dinner we walked along the path to where the Hale Koa grounds led to Waikiki Beach,

...which is open to the public here and all along the shoreline.
In Hawaii there are no private beaches, even beaches that touch hotel properties. All beaches are open to the public, and hotels must allow beachgoers access through their lobbies to the beaches that they open up to.
On this night Waikiki was crowded with folks watching the sunset,

...and the boats,

...and the volleyball players, Tuesday night apparently being a big night for beach volleyball, as I learned from a couple of the players with whom who I chatted.

We walked along the beach,

...towards diamond Head.

Then we cut over and headed towards downtown Waikiki,

...which was busy and lively as ever on this Spring Break evening.

We walked to Kalakaua Street, the main thoroughfare through Waikiki,

...to the food court at the Royal Hawaiian Center,

...where we had our first double cream puffs of the trip from our favorite bakery, the Kulu Kulu Honolulu,

...where the pastries are exquisite.

...and the cream puffs the best.

After our cream puffs we walked a little way up Kalakahua Avenue,

...then crossed the street and came to Duke's Alley, a narrow passageway that we stumbled upon during a visit a few years ago that opens up into a hidden gem of an open air market where one can purchase souvenirs and island-made crafts at discount prices.

Then we headed back to the Hale Koa,

...where, no matter how many times we come,

...we still feel the aloha.

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Sideshow Donald's Theater Of Cruelty

4/15/2025

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Donald Trump, geriatric showbiz thimblerigger with ideations of self-grandeur, now President of incompetence and chaos,

...is putting on the spectacle of his life, a sensationalistic global extravaganza of economic calamity with his colossally foolish tariffs and the trade war he's declared on the world, a trade war which, according to political observers and historians, could well lead to a killing war.
And there is Donald Trump’s supporting cast of characters who've hitched their hopes for power and attainment to his star, making statements to the media in support of his economic insanity as if everything were going smooth as Jell-o and Dream Whip, as if his actions were ushering the world into a new era of prosperity and peace instead of setting the world on the brink of catastrophe.
Among these members of Trump's troupe are Secretary of the U.S. Treasury Scott Bessent,

...economist and former Trump advisor Peter Navarro, who went to prison rather than testify against Trump,

...Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins,

...Harvard PhD and Trump economic advisor Stephen, greatest of Trump's tariff cheerleaders.

...and others.
I’ve heard these people speak. Listening to them one would say they're serious people, Ivy League educated, highly intelligent and knowledgeable, top experts in their field, people to be believed and trusted.
And yet it's clear they're no more to be trusted or believed than the marionettes they are. I say this not because their opinions fly in the face of the opinions of every other reputable economist on the planet; after all, who knows, maybe they do in fact honestly believe in their own prognostications, and who's to say that it's one hundred percent outside the realm of possibility that Trump's tariffs and trade war just might turn out splendidly as they're telling us they will?
No, the problem is that while these Donald Trump's leading men and women are giving ovations and rave reviews to his performance on the economy, Trump is simultaneously producing and directing a horrific sideshow in which innocent people are suffering cruelly.
Under Donald Trump, Immigration and Customs Enforcement has turned into an American Gestapo whose officers have been using flagrant terror tactics against lawfully documented immigrants, trampling on their legal and human rights.
There was the incident on March 25 in which Rumeysa Ozturk, a 30-year-old Tufts PhD student in the U.S. on a Fulbright Scholarship,

...was jumped on the street by a group of ICE agents in black masks, seized,

...and whisked away to a detention center in Louisiana where she is still being held. Though she has not been charged with any crime or illegal activity, her visa has been terminated because last year she wrote a letter to the Tufts student newspaper sympathetic to the plight of the Gazans.
There is the shockingly shameful treatment of Columbia University graduate student Mahmoud Khalil, a lawful permanent green card resident married to an American citizen, who was arrested on March 8 and also taken away to a Louisiana detention center for having led peaceful pro-Palestinian demonstrations last year. Khalil has not been charged with any crime or illegal activity, but his green card and legal status have been revoked and few days ago a Louisiana judge ruled that he could be deported, even though as a Palestinian refugee whose family fled to Syria then later from Syria to Lebanon he has no real homeland to go back to.

Then there is the cruelest, most heart-wrenching plight of them all, that of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the 29-year old Salvadoran refugee with protected legal status, husband of a U.S. citizen and father of three, who was mistakenly targeted by Immigration as a Venezuelan gang member and seized on March 12 by ICE agents.

Abrego Garcia, who is guilty of no crime nor has broken any law, was sent to a notorious Salvadoran mega-prison crowded with violent gang members. And even though the Trump administration has admitted that Abrego Garcia was arrested and deported because of a clerical error, not the least effort has been made by Immigration or the State Department to have him released from that brutal prison and returned home to the United States. A judgement handed down by U.S. Federal Court has been flouted by Donald Trump.
In fact, yesterday Donald Trump hosted President of El Salvador Nayib Bukele, who calls himself the world’s coolest dictator, at the White House. The two dictators, who got along swimmingly,

...jovially agreed that Kilmer Abrego Garcia would not be returned to his home and family in the U.S., but would be kept incarcertated in the Salvadoran prison. Trump meanwhile floated the idea of paying El Salvador to build more prisons to which American criminals could be sent, "criminals" meaning anyone Donald Trump doesn't like, such as, for example, the former Department of Homeland Security official Miles Taylor,

...whom Trump has accused of treason for writing a letter during Trump's first term to the New York Times that was critical of Trump.
Nor has Trump's Republican Congress emitted a breath of protest against these outrages or similar outrages perpetrated against other innocent legal immigrants by Donald Trump's Departments of Immigration and Homeland Security.
And here are these Trumpian players on the world stage,

...singing Donald Trump's praises, delivering their lines as if Trump's economic show existed independent of his horror show of human rights abuse, as if the horror show didn't exist at all, as if his theater of cruelty were not intertwined with his theater of the economy, as if the two were not part of the same spectacle.
And as if these people didn't understand that a bad tree cannot bear good fruit any more than a good tree can produce bad. Or as if they never pondered what it profits them if they gain the whole world and forfeit their soul.

References

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/12/politics/trump-krebs-khalil-taylor-crackdown-dissent-what-matters/index.html

https://www.cnn.com/2025/03/27/us/rumeysa-ozturk-detained-what-we-know

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/04/us/maryland-father-el-salvador-immigrants/index.html?iid=cnn_buildContentRecirc_end_recirc

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/13/us/mahmoud-khalil-deportation-ruling-appeals/index.html

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/10/us/immigration-detainees-trump-ice-students-visa/index.html?iid=cnn_buildContentRecirc_end_recirc

https://www.msn.com/en-in/autos/photos/stephen-miran-the-harvard-trained-economist-behind-trumps-tariff-strategy/ar-AA1CEYQF

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-miles-taylor-treason-chris-krebs-doj-investigate_n_67f7024ce4b0148714528bcf

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/trump-orders-probes-two-former-officials-defied-rcna200523

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Lug Stars To The Rescue!

4/8/2025

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Lug Stars To The Rescue!

...Continued from yesterday:
And so, not really knowing what else to do, I did as Matti, the hapless LG customer service worker who had the misfortune of picking up on my call, instructed me to do: I ate lunch. (see yesterday's post, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/abandon-hope-all-ye-who-order-an-lg-dryer-online).
In truth, I did not expect LG to call me back after lunch with an offer of compensation for me having to take care of the installation and haul away service LG had advertised (falsely) on its website,

...and had claimed (falsely) to have completed on the post-delivery paperwork I was given.

By that time I had ceased expecting a call or any compensation from LG (and to this day I have received neither).
Rather, I needed to turn my attention to the botheration of getting our old dryer hauled away so that Tom could install the new one himself.
We considered asking a big, muscular young do-it-your-selfer-type guy we knew and his big, muscular brother if they'd take the job.
"Don't ask the big, muscular do-it-your-selfer and his brother to do the job," said my daughter when she called me that evening for an update on my dryer drama.
"Why not?" I asked my daughter.
"Because," she sad, "if they're not bonded, if they don't have workman's comp and they get hurt..."
"Right," I said.
"But look," she said, "I'm sure there are lots places that haul things away. Just look on the internet."
So I took my daughter's advice and looked on the internet. I scrolled around and came upon a promising-looking outfit called Lug Stars.

I called the number on the website and talked to Dave, the friendly young guy who owns the business.

Being all talked-out on the subject of my dryer installation woes from having over the past week recounted it nine times to nine different LG customer service reps, I gave Dave just the bare bones of my story: that I needed the old dryer hauled away and the new one pushed against the wall so that it could be installed.
Dave then asked me if I'd like him to install my dryer, as before he started Lug Stars he used to install appliances. His offer was balm to my worn-out-from-b**tching brain, and I jumped on it.
Dave was able to schedule my old dryer haul-away and new dryer installation for the following day, Friday, March 28, at noon. However on Friday morning a thought that had been drifting around the back of my mind for a while drifted to the front of my mind: the thought of getting rid of an ancient vanity desk that had belonged to Tom's great aunt and had been bequeathed to us over 45 years ago.

I called Dave and asked him if his crew might also be able to haul away the old vanity desk. He said yes, they could do that, then he told me that as a matter of fact they were at that moment in the area of my neighborhood and he wondered if they could come over and do the job now. Like, in fifteen minutes.
For me, who had spent much of the past week on the phone on hold for far more than fifteen minutes waiting to be connected to a service rep, this felt like winning the lotto. "Yes!" I told him, "Yes, come now!"
Now, there was one hitch to the crew coming over now as opposed to the agreed upon time of noon, and that was that Tom wasn't home. He was out at a breakfast get-together of his old work friends. But to me this was only an itty-bitty hitch. True, Tom is savvy as can be when it comes to plumbing, electrical, heating, cooling, and all the household infrastructure and repair issues, and he knows how to talk the lingo with the maintenance people. I, on the other hand, tend to be in general ignorant as a mushroom about such things. Still, I figured that this would be a pretty straightforward undertaking which I could handle on my own. So I told Dave to send his crew over now. What could possibly go wrong?
I found out when I led Dave and his crew of four likewise friendly young guys down the basement to where the dryers were. "Ohhh..." said Dave when I showed him the old dyer. "This is a gas dryer. I assumed you meant you had an electric dryer."
Apparently I had neglected to mention when making the arrangements for haul away and installation that these were gas dryers. Apparently installing a gas dryer is akin to a federal project which Dave's crew was not equipped to undertake. I did not know that.
I asked Dave if he could just cap the gas line (I did know about capping the gas line; see yesterday's post) and haul away the old dryer, and Tom, who knew from gas dryers, could install it later. Dave gave me a definite maybe. Unless he was 100% sure that the gas cap I had would fit the gas line, he wouldn't disconnect it. And he wasn't 100% sure. For that matter, neither was I. He could, however, disconnect the line at the dryer...provided I was 100% sure that the gas shut-off valve was good and tight and he'd have to do a bubble test first. What did I think, he asked me. I thought I didn't know what he was talking about. And I was starting to sweat.
I absolutely hated calling Tom while he was at his work friends breakfast, but my inner lost three-year-old was now in ascendance and so I called him anyway and made the mistake of putting the phone on speaker.
What's going on? Why are they there now? Weren't they supposed to come at noon? Didn't they tell you they could do the installation? Let me talk to somebody! So barked my mate into the phone, unaware that Dave and his crew of young guys were right there listening. I sheepishly handed the phone over to Dave, who didn't look like he much wanted to take it, but did anyway.
Dave explained to Tom his hesitancy to disconnect the dryer, not being sure of the state of our gas line. They spent a few moments discussing some inscrutable gas line esoterica, then Dave handed the phone back to me.
"What should we do?" I asked Tom.
Tom let out a long sigh. "I'm coming home."
After I hung up Dave said, "Your husband sounds mad."
"Oh, no, ha, ha, no, he's not mad, ha, ha," I babbled on nervously. "See, he just, uh, he has a, you know, a big voice. But don't worry, he's a really nice guy, ha, ha. Why don't I show you where that vanity desk is?"
While Dave and his crew were upstairs taking apart the vanity desk I stayed downstairs and called Tom again. I asked him to please be nice to the Lug Star guys, as they were nice guys and young and it wasn't their fault I didn't tell them about the gas dryer and then told them they could come early. Tom laughed and told me not to worry, of course he was going to be nice to the Lug Star guys. I asked him what about his breakfast? He said he told his friends to watch his food for him, he'd be back.
By the time Dave's crew finished moving the vanity desk Tom still hadn't arrived home. At that point the Lug Stars would have been within their rights to be on their way; they had a busy schedule, and one of the workers was checking on the couch and refrigerator job that was next on their agenda. But they patiently waited until Tom returned in hopes that they might yet succeed in hauling away our old gas dryer.
While we were waiting Dave handed me a photograph his movers had found in the bottom of one of the drawers. It was an old forgotten picture of me (on the right, in the poncho and red slacks) with my Chinese Cambodian friend Sin, left, and my French friend Guenael, center, when we were in Granada, Spain during Easter of 1972.

"Looks like that was taken in Europe," said Dave.
"Yes, it was," I said. I asked Dave if he'd been to Europe.
Dave told me that he was stationed in Hanau, Germany when he was in the army. I then told him that Tom, also Army, was stationed in Babenhausen, Germany, and that I worked as a Department of Defense Civilian in Aschaffensburg, Germany. This got us to talking about Germany, which settled us into a nice spirit of gemütlichkeit.
When Tom arrived he and Dave in fact hit it off, chatting for a minute about their army days - Dave with Air Defense, Tom with the Field Artillery.
Here's Tom back in around 1973 on a field exercise in Grafenwöhr, Germany.

Then we all, Dave, Tom, the Lug Stars and myself, headed down to the basement to see if there was a fighting chance of resolving our dryer issue today.
Tom and Dave hovered over the dryer gas line conferring about caps, valves, bubble tests, exhaust vents, connections, tools, and such. Tom was sure that the gas cap he'd bought would fit over the pipe and, though Tom no longer had his pipe wrench, having lent it out sometime or other to someone or other who never returned it, he thought he could probably detach the old dryer from the gas line using a utility pliers I kept in a kitchen drawer for the purpose of getting a grip on recalcitrant soda bottle caps.
My soda bottle pliers did eventually do the trick, though it took Dave holding the gas pipe steady while Tom yanked and yanked at the nut that attached the dryer's flexible tube to the gas pipe. After much substantial steadying and yanking, the gas pipe finally separated form the dryer tube, all the while Dave's crew standing by like a group of attentive young medical residents gathered around to watch and learn from two experienced surgeons at work.
And so, with the gas line detached from the dryer and safely capped, the Lug Stars were at last able to do what they'd initially come to do, that is, haul away our old dryer and push our new one from where it had been left at the foot of the basement stairs over to its rightful spot next to the washer where it would soon be hooked up and fulfilling its intended purpose. Then Tom zipped off to rejoin his friends and his breakfast which, he later informed me, was waiting for him and still warm.
As for Dave and his helpful Lug Stars, far from being put out at having had to spend more time than allotted on the job I'd lassoed them into, Dave left me a coupon for $20 off my next haul away job.
And as he was leaving Dave turned back to me and said, "You're right. Tom is a nice guy."

Here's the Lug Stars website in case anybody in the Columbus, Ohio area needs some hauling: https://lugstars.com/
And here's their number: 614-816-5865

 Epilogue:
After he returned from his breakfast Tom got to work hooking up our new dryer to the gas outlet.

The job took him most of the day, including two trips to Home Depot due to this model of dryer requiring some special connectors.

Having now a better understanding (in theory, if not in practice) of what a gas dryer installation involves, it's become clearer to me why neither LG nor RXO wanted to touch installing my dryer. Of course, they were wrong to advertise that they would send someone out to install my dryer for free if they weren't intending to. Still, considering the know-how needed to remove and install a gas dryer, I'm grateful they didn't.

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Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Order An LG Dryer Online

4/6/2025

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Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Order An LG Dryer Online

On February 28, 2025, our 15-year-old gas dryer crossed over the bridge to wherever the souls of dead appliances go.

That same day Tom and I (below, in a considerably more carefree moment),

...girded our loins, so to speak, and immersed ourselves in the task buying a new dryer.
"Where should we go?" I asked Tom. "Lowe's? Menards? Home Depot?"
"Wherever you want," he replied.
I looked out the window at the bleak, wet February day and thought of an aptly descriptive quote from Sinclair Lewis's novel "It Can't Happen Here": a gray trickle of cold dishwater from Heaven's kitchen sink."*
"Say," I said, "what if we just stayed home and ordered the dryer online? People order appliances online all the time, right?"
"Whatever you want," said my accommodating mate.
So we spent the afternoon on an online dryer hunt and eventually bagged this LG 7.3 cu.ft. Rear Control Gas Energy Star Dryer with Sensor Dry.

In truth, the main draw of this particular model was the free delivery, installation, and haul away that came with the purchase.

I even read the small print, just to be sure:

As we didn't have any hardwiring, side venting, water line extension, propane conversion, or and other installation issues that we knew of, I figured we were good to go. Although in retrospect, mayhaps that last line, There may be some additional work or parts required that are not included in this service was meant as a broader umbrella statement than I imagined at the time.
But at the time all seemed in order. We placed our order for our new LG 7.3 Rear Control etc, etc, etc, Dryer on February 28 and were given a delivery date of March 19. Fine, we thought, we could go three weeks without a dryer. In fact we went into what I christened "Little House on the Prairie" mode, hanging up the laundry all around the house to dry on these cold, wet, winter days (see post from 3/18/2025, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/the-day-nothing-was-working).

About halfway through our wait time Tom received this assuring text from LG:

...with a drawing of the correct outlet needed for a gas dryer, which we had.

On Wednesday March 19, our dryer arrived as scheduled, delivered by the LG contract delivery service, an outfit called RXO. However, the RXO delivery kid, who looked to be in his 20's, informed us that he didn't have the gas hose in his truck that was necessary to install our dryer. Nor could he haul away our old dryer without putting a cap - which he also didn't have on him - over our gas outlet. He advised us to go to Home Depot and buy the necessary 6-foot hose and then call LG and tell them to call RXO again to arrange for an installer to come back out to our house.
Now, we probably should have realized on the spot the sketchiness of that directive. But alas, we were at the front end of the journey, and so Tom zipped out to Home Depot, bought the hose and, just to be safe, a gas outlet cap and a few other dryer installation supplies.
In fact, Tom knew how to install a gas dryer himself. He once replaced the gas valve and hose (whatever exactly that involved) on our old dryer. But what Tom couldn't do on his own - obviously - was haul away the old dryer and move the new dryer, which had been left at the bottom of the basement stairs, up against the wall where the connecting outlets were. Besides, Tom no longer had his pipe wrench - having once lent it out after which it was never returned - or the fittings needed for the installation. And better to leave the job to the professional. Who, per our agreement with LG, was going to come back and do it, anyway. Even though our post-delivery paperwork stated that the dryer had already been installed.

But we trusted. So on Wednesday, March 19, per the instructions of our RXO delivery kid, Tom contacted LG about rescheduling the hauling away of our old dryer and the installation of our new dryer. Tom was asked to please answer a survey afterwards.
The next night, Thursday night, March 20, Tom received a call from RXO, the delivery service, from someone with a foreign accent, informing him that RXO was not going to install our dryer and asking him to please answer a survey afterwards.
The next day, Friday, March 21, I called LG. I talked to a very nice lady with a foreign accent who told me - that is, after about a combined 45 minutes of waiting in line then waiting while she tried to sort out my situation - that RXO was not, in fact, going to install our dryer but that LG would reimburse us $50 for us to arrange and pay for on our own installation and haul away service.
To which I, normally a most non-confrontational soul, replied, "$50?! We already spent $33 on the gas hose! And besides, there's no way I could get someone to come to my house and do that job for under $200!"
The nice lady had me wait a while longer while she conveyed my response to...whoever...then returned to tell me that I would be hearing from RXO right away, and in any case to call back if I didn't hear from them in 48 hours. I was asked to please answer a survey afterwards.
48 hours - which would have been Sunday, March 23 - came and went. So did Monday, March 24. On Tuesday, March 25 I called LG back and got a nice guy with a foreign accent. After much waiting and back-and-forthing the nice LG guy with the foreign accent told me I needed to call RXO myself. I was asked to please answer a survey afterwards.
I called RXO, and after much waiting my called was picked up by a nice lady with a foreign accent to whom I schpieled my story. She told me to stay on the line, she'd transfer me to someone who could help.
The next person I talked to was - glory be - a hale, hearty, friendly guy who sounded like he was from right here in Columbus, Ohio. "Don't you worry," he boomed, "we're gonna fix you right up!" He told me to stay on the line, which I did, and I was transferred back to LG. I mean back to square one, "press one for this and two for that" square one. When a nice lady with a foreign accent finally answered I had to start my story all over.
This nice foreign lady had me hold the line while she checked with...whoever...and after a long hold she returned and she assured me that I would received a call from RXO before the end of the day to schedule the installation of my dryer. And could I please answer a survey afterwards. That was Tuesday, March 25.
It was on the afternoon of Wednesday, March 26, after nobody from RXO had called me back and my dryer had been sitting a week in my basement, still pre-born and uninstalled, that it hit me:

...This outfit is not going to install your dryer. Ever. You got baited and switched.
I was somewhere along in the five stages of aggravation - denial, anger, hair-pulling, b**ching and more b**chng, that one of my daughters called. I proceeded to bend her ear with my tale of dryer woe. My daughter was sympathetic and soothing. But she also pointed out something that had already occurred to me, that all these customer service workers, probably sitting in cubicles thousands of miles from me and from one another, didn't have a clue what to do, or the power to do anything anyway, about my dryer. And then she brought up something that hadn't at all occurred to me: maybe they were even slave or subjugated labor, forced to sit in those cubicles and field questions all day from Americans ticked off about their appliances.
I then wondered if the beleaguered workers would be fed if they didn't earn their quota of positive survey answers.
Anyway, I accepted that my dryer issue was not going to be taken care of by LG or their proxy, RXO. Still, I felt I needed closure. So the following day, Thursday, March 27, I decided to call one more time, this time to RXO, not to demand that they install my new dryer and haul away my old, but only to find if they are in fact strictly a delivery service, if installing and hauling is something they even do.
So on Thursday morning I called RXO, was put de rigueur on hold and eventually connected to a nice foreign lady who assured me that she couldn't discuss what I was asking her about, that I'd have to call LG. I repeated that I wasn't asking for service, that I only wanted to know if RXO did, in fact, ever do installations. She politely transferred me to LG, where I was connected to another nice foreign lady.
Well, as long I was on the line with LG I figured there was no harm in giving it one last shot. I started from the beginning and told the nice lady my long tale of dryer installation woe, from the promise of free installation and haul away that had initially lured me into buying an LG dryer which was still sitting uninstalled in my basement over a week after delivery, to the seven customer service reps I'd talked to so far, eight counting her, and everything in between.
After I'd finished my exhaustive jeremiad the nice foreign lady sympathetically informed me that she was parts and repair, but that she'd transfer me to online orders.
It was definitely not Matti's day, Matti being the nice young foreign guy to whom I was transferred (I changed his name, just in case, even though the name he gave me surely wasn't his, anyway). I was telling Matti my story for the third time that day, and my mood had definitely not mellowed. After I finished Matti politely told me I needed to call RXO.
Be kind, I told myself, don't take it out on Matti, who might be chained to his cubicle just trying to get a good survey so he gets fed that night. Anyway, I took a deep breath and told Matti that I'd already called RXO. That it was RXO that transferred me to him.
"Oh," said Matti. He then left me on the line whilst he went off into the ether to try and find the answer to what to do next with this livid, fat cat American lady and her dryer.
When Matti returned he told me he had someone from RXO on the line joining our conversation who would explain to me why my dryer couldn't be installed. I then found myself listening to someone who sounded just like Matti and, for all I knew, could have been Matti. Anyway, this RXO Matti sound-alike didn't really explain in any manner that I understood why RXO couldn't install or haul, just that they couldn't.
I'm sorry to say that I then went off on Matti Sound-Alike, telling him that this was fraud, that I'd been tricked into buying this dryer on the promise that it would be installed, that if I'd known it wouldn't be I'd have gone to Lowe's, that this was dishonest and wrong, and now what was I supposed to do?
Matti then informed me that Matti Sound-Alike had left the conversation. "Okay," I said, "so what am I supposed to do about my dryer?"
Matti sadly informed me that I'd have to take care of the situation myself, and he offered me some Byzantine logic to the effect that since the installation and haul-away services had been free, LG couldn't refund me anything. Because I hadn't paid anything for the service. Which they didn't provide.
I then did a repeat performance for Matti of the rant that I'd laid on Matti Sound-Alike, who might have been Matti. After I finished, poor shaken Matti told me to hold the line, probably needing a moment to himself to cry. He then came back and told me that LG would compensate me for the cost of taking care of my dryer situation on my own.
"Fine," I snapped (which I shouldn't have), but I don't want to be offered any $50. Tell...whoever...that I'll need at least $200 to have this dryer installed and the old one hauled away.
"Yes, yes," said Matti. "I'll tell them. Now," he crooned in the most dulcet and soothing tone, "you go and have some lunch, and after lunch you'll be contacted about your compensation."
Poor Matti. He was probably wishing he could go and have some lunch. I hope he did.
TO BE CONTINUED....
*I highly recommend that every American read "It Can't Happen Here," a novel by Sinclair Lewis written in 1936. In view of current events, it will, I promise, blow your mind.

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In Search Of Hula, Part 1

​In Search Of Hula, Part 1

​*"Everyone is welcome" is, I think, approximately what this phrase means.

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​Lug Stars To The Rescue!

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​Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Order An LG Dryer Online

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In Search Of Hula, Part 1

*"Everyone is welcome" is, I think, approximately what this phrase means.

Feeling The Aloha Again

Lug Stars To The Rescue!

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Order An LG Dryer Online