...Continued from yesterday: So, having done a batch of online research about the Squatty Potty, I came to three conclusions: 1. The Squatty Potty is the wonder non-drug of the century, 2. It is being promoted online exclusively by young, hip, good-looking people*: 3. And that I had to have one. Or two. Maybe three. Turns out you can order one from squattypotty.com or from Amazon. Or you can pick one up at Bed Bath And Beyond or Target. Guess where I bought mine from? Besides, the American Family Association, the religious hate group pushing for a boycott against Target for the store's transgender-friendly restroom policy (see posts from 4/28 and 4/29/2016), has been sending men into the women's restrooms at Targets to "test the policy". Or maybe the American Family Association, feeling all sour-grapey because Target's policy has resulted in no negative outcomes, decided that by God, there would be trouble in the store's bathrooms, even if they had to make it themselves. And so, along with wanting to buy a Squatty Potty, I also kind of wanted to stop into the Easton Town Center Target restroom to see if there was any trouble brewing amongst the pottys there. There wasn't. Anyway, when I asked the lady working the customer service desk - a gal around my age - where I could find a Squatty Potty, she looked at me funny. "I've never heard of that," she said. Hmmmm, not hip, thought I. Still, she was friendly enough and helpfully called on her intercom and the youngster who replied said that, yes, they carried Squatty Pottys but that he thought they were all out. No wait, he said, he just found a couple. Feeling satisfied and justified, I made my way to the Squatty Potty aisle. They cost $24.99 each, a bit pricey, thought I, for a piece of molded plastic. But then I figured I was probably paying for all the research and technology involved, and all. Whatever, I wanted to buy all three. But not wanting to be hoggy, I bought only two. I brought my Squatty Pottys home and put them in two of my three bathrooms where they fit neatly under the pot when not in use. So, how do I like my Squatty Pottys? Eh, to tell you the truth, I've been using them for a couple of days now and so far they haven't exactly rocked my world. But maybe that's because my world hasn't yet needed to be un-rocked. So to speak. But in the meantime they're fine. They work. I guess. I don't really know. But I'm going to keep my Squatty Pottys, and I'm going to use them, as I've become a disciple of the ideology that we all should be using squat toilets in some format, as a preventative measure if nothing else. You don't want to mess with the process of elimination. But the hand of the Lord was heavy upon those of Ashdod, and He destroyed them and smote them with hemorrhoids, even Ashdod and the borders thereof. 1 Samuel 5:6, 21st Century King James Version (KJ21). Then said they, “What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him?” They answered, “Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice, according to the number of the lords of the Philistines; for one plague was on you all and on your lords. 1 Samuel 6:24, 21st Century Version (KJ21). You seriously would not believe some of the stuff you find when you read The Bible cover-to-cover. * In fact it seems like more young people know about the Squatty Potty than older folks - maybe because of the funny commercial and the internet presence. Most of my own kids had heard of it and think it's a cool item, whereas none of the Posse members had heard of it and were more skeptical - as was I at first - when I told them about it and its function. References:
1. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+5%3A6&version=KJ21 2. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+6%3A4&version=KJ21 3. http://time.com/4317236/target-transgender-bathroom-men/
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Okay, I'll admit that in the 5/1/2016 post I was poking a bit of fun at the Squatty Potty. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you either: 1. Are among the few people left on the planet (among whose number I, too, was until a few days ago) who've never heard of the Squatty Potty, an apparently fabulous invention that owns the internet and apparently flies off the shelves of retail stores that carry it, 2. Didn't read my 5/1/2016 post, or 3. Read my 5/1/2016 post but didn't realize I was only joking when I said you shouldn't open the link, which was to a Squatty Potty commercial. Or rather I should say the Squatty Potty commercial. So in case you've never seen the Squatty Potty commercial - believe me, you'll know if you did - here's the link again, go ahead and open it : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q So now everybody knows what the Squatty Potty is, right? Anyway, I guess I shouldn't have made fun of the commercial - apparently potty problems are serious stuff, as I was soon to learn after a bit of research - but can I really be blamed? I mean, it is one flippin' funny commercial, is it not? (And how about those darling little kids at the end? Didn't you feel like, forget the Squatty Potty, I want one of those kids!? ) My point is, in this case the medium kind of squashed the message for me at first. However I liked the commercial so much that I had to watch it again. And again. And a couple times more. But then I started wondering about the Squatty Potty itself, if it was an actual, you know, thing thing. So I started researching it on the 'net. Turns out the Squatty Potty is a thing. A thing on steroids, judging from all the chatter going on about it. And according to the internet reviews, just about everybody who's tried the Squatty Potty loves it, nay, raves over it. Apparently we in the Western world suffer a slew of heath problems related to our toilet posture. I mean, serious problems beyond the ones you usually think about. Which is probably why, as I learned, two-thirds of the world use squatty-style, ...the modus operandi of which seems to be a great contributor to our present colonic maladies. But now along has come the Squatty Potty, which apparently can not only prevent the bad stuff but turn it around, this according to just about every independent review I've been able to find about the thing, such as the following clip from an article by a reviewer known as The Healthy Home Economist called "East Meets West: Can Squatty Potty Fix America's Toilet Issues?": Why Squatty Potty Gets the Job Done Better Research shows the following advantages of the squatty potty posture:
And that's just one of many online praises sung about the Squatty Potty. So I went out and bought one. To Be Continued... References:
1. http://www.squattypotty.com/independent-reviews/ 2. http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/east-meets-west-can-squatty-potty-fix-americas-toilet-issues/ 3. http://www.amazon.com/Squatty-Potty-Original-Bathroom-Toilet/product-reviews/B007BISCT0 “There is no easy way from the earth to the stars” – Seneca "....Especially when you're old" - Patti Liszkay In last Sunday's New York Times Op Ed section there was an essay by author Gerald Marzorati entitled "Better Aging Through Practice, Practice, Practice". Mr. Marzorati's message was that for senior citizens, while doing crossword and other mind puzzles and getting mild exercise may or may not help stave off memory loss and poor health, the best way to "recast and strengthen" one's brain and improve one's life in old age is to "find something - something new, something difficult - to immerse yourself in and improve at." Gerald Marzorati goes on to say: "I am talking about improving at a demanding skill or set of skills - a craft, a discipline. I have in mind something that will take years to get proficient at, something that there is a correct way of doing, handed down for generations or even ages, and for which there is no way for you to create shortcuts with your cleverness or charm. Playing the cello. Or cabinetry. Or...tennis, serious tennis." And then you've got to practice, practice, practice. Though I'd never before heard of it, the theory expounded in Mr. Marzorati's article immediately resonated with me, and, as a piano teacher whose beginning students have ranged in age from 3 to 70 years old, I think it's something I've believed on an unexpressed subconscious level for years. I can't tell you how many times older adults, upon learning that I teach piano, have told me that they always wished they could play an instrument; and yet when I subsequently launch into my "It's Never Too Late Too Learn Anything" schpiel, preaching about the many adults I've taught to play the piano, including a 70-year-old retired surgical nurse who after three years of lessons was zipping through Czerny's velocity exercises, they smile politely while their eyes glaze over and their brains zone out. I think most of us oldsters aren't really in the market for starting anything new and challenging, even if we did have the time and the money. Most of us just don't feel like doing the practice, practice, practice (for the love, haven't we had enough to do already?) and we don't have parents around anymore to make us. And besides, we're too scared. In his article Mr. Marzorati cites a psychological study concluding that children are often inhibited from making a commitment to continuous improvement in a skill because they are afraid of being judged as not being smart or good enough. But older adults, he claims, have the advantage of no longer having any reason to be inhibited by the perceptions of others. And yet I've found the opposite to be true; children, though they may not like practicing or taking piano lessons, have no particular fear of not playing well enough; children for the most part just do what they're instructed to do, and everything is what it is. Adults, on the other hand, generally have a great fear of trying their hand at something new. I see this in my adult students, most of whom tend to be terribly self-conscious and who worry about not being good enough and about making mistakes even though they're only beginners at an endeavor that takes years of practice. They worry even though they're only taking lessons for their own enjoyment and even though they're only playing in front of me, whose job it is to help them improve. And they're terrified of performing at recitals, even though our audience is only a small, friendly group of the students' family and friends, most of whom can't play a note themselves. Believe me, we adults need three times the assurance and encouragement that children need. Still, I can attest that there are adults out there, even senior citizens, who do commit to learning piano and who do become proficient at it, and, all that being said, I now feel a hankering to commit to a new endeavor. How about you? Reference
1. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/01/opinion/better-aging-through-practice-practice-practice.html ...And while we're on the subject of bathrooms (see blogs from 4/29/2016 and 4/28/2016), DO NOT READ THIS POST! I repeat: DO NOT READ THIS POST!! I'm serious. Don't read one word further. X-out of here right now. Before it's too late. And whatever you do, do not open the following link. Just don't! Please!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q Sigh. I told you not to open it, didn't I? Didn't I?! But if you read it anyway and have now fallen under the enchanted unicorn sell, I mean spell, just know that you don't have to buy one of those to be...set free. I have it on the highest expert authority Don't ask, don't tell. 8D
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"Tropical Depression"
by Patti Liszkay Buy it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTPN7NYY "Equal And Opposite Reactions"
by Patti Liszkay Buy it on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa or from The Book Loft of German Village, Columbus, Ohio Or check it out at the Columbus Metropolitan Library
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February 2025
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