Here's Something Trump Can Hang His Name On

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​      Now, it's pretty clear that Donald Trump doesn't much care about inflation,

​...gas prices, 
​

...the housing affordability crisis, the health care affordability crisis, our strained and aged electrical grid, citizens' concerns about the proliferation of AI and data centers, ​

...the plight of the sailors suffering horrendous conditions on board U.S. Navy vessels,

​...or, really, any of the issues that are currently impacting the lives of Americans.
        But it's crystal clear that what Donald Trump dearly cares about, what he cares about above all else - besides accruing personal wealth, that is  - he's doubled his fortune to six and a half billion dollars during the first year of his second term - is seeing his name, image and likeness on things. 
         It wasn't enough for Trump to stick his name on his condos, hotels, resorts, golf courses, and the countless gewgaws he's come up with and continues to come up with to put his name on and hawk to the American public.

     
     But since his return to the White House Donald Trump has been using the power of the Presidency and wasting mind-boggling amounts of taxpayers' money to plaster his name and image on U.S. government documents, programs and buildings.
       There's Trump Rx and Trump Accounts and the Trump Gold Card that grants a U.S. Green Card to anyone willing to fork over $1 million for one.

       
​     There are the forthcoming projects that Trump has named after himself: the Trump-class battle ship, the Boeing F-47 (get it? 47?), the Arc de Trump, a massive structure that would destroy the Washington D.C. landscape,

...and, of course, his notorious mess of a 90,000 square foot, 400 million dollar Donald J. Trump Ballroom that already has.

       
​    Then there are the banners of himself that he's hung on federal buildings,

​...and the pictures of himself he's put on our U.S. park passes,

...passports,

​...and his signature that will soon replace that of the Secretary of the Treasury on our U.S. currency.

     
​       And there are Donald Trump's attempts, aborted so far, to get New York Penn Station and Dulles International Airport   renamed for him, and, what must be a dreadful disappointment, a judge's recent order that Trump's name had to be removed from the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.

       
​      But here's an idea. How about if, in exchange for taking Trump's name off the Kennedy Center, his name be put instead on something else, something very much a part of the contemporary American experience that deserves without a doubt to bear Donald Trump's name:
       A Food and Drug Administration Food Traceability Rule was scheduled to go into effect last January. This law would have required all food-related businesses to track the supply chain of high-risk foods, such as leafy lettuces, in order to immediately remove any contaminated food from the system and prevent  outbreaks of food-borne illnesses.
        But Donald Trump put that rule on hold until mid-2028. This move, in addition to the rolling back of food safety regulations, the cutting of food safety programs, the laying off of food inspectors and the wholesale gutting of the Food and Drug Administration under Trump's Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr.,   

...is the reason that the United States is currently experiencing the largest outbreak of Cyclosporiasis in our country's history, with tens of thousands of Americans sickened so far.
      And so, in honor of their roll in the outbreak and continuing proliferation of this illness, I hereby move that its name be changed from Cyclosporiasis to Trumpkennedyasses.
​        And there can even be a commemorative banner available at The Trump Store for $99.99.

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References:
https://www.newsweek.com/cyclospora-lettuce-update-fda-issues-strongest-warning-adds-3-more-states-12378332

https://www.fox13news.com/news/lettuce-linked-cyclosporiasis-outbreak-expands-3-more-states

https://www.npr.org/2026/08/20/nx-s1-5930462/trump-health-foodborne-illness-outbreak-cyclospora

​https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/15/health/cyclospora-invesigation-fda.html