My 2024 Commencement Speech

6/21/2024

Books by Patti Liszkay available on Amazon:
"Equal And Opposite Reactions"   http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa
   "Hail Mary"    https://www.amzn.com/1684334888
"Tropical Depression"       https://www.amzn.com/B0BTPN7NYY

My 2024 Commencement Speech

The graduation ceremonies are over, the diplomas have all been handed out, as have the last slices of cake,

...and thousands of words of advice and wisdom have been dispensed (and mayhaps already forgotten by now) to the new grads at commencement speeches from sea to shining sea.

And so now it's time for me to offer, as I do every year, a few words of my own on things that might not have been covered by the keynote speakers but that I hope might, all the same, provide a bit of counsel and enlightenment to all the young people who will soon be out there navigating life on their own terms.
So, young graduates of the class of 2024, here is my commencement speech to you:

1. A mile is longer than you think.

And sometimes a minute takes longer than you think, too. Or else it takes a whole lot less.

2. Try cutting Skittles with kettle corn.
It's more yummy and less fattening than straight-up Skittles.

3. Avoid the temptation to offer advice or an opinion, just because you feel like saying something, on situations or issues that you have no experience in and in truth know nothing about.

Before you offer advice or an opinion on anything, ask yourself what you really know about it. If the answer is "nothing," then try just listening. That will be far more helpful and you might learn something. BTW, if people truly want your advice or input, believe me, they'll ask you for it.

4. Try using leaves of Romaine lettuce for your sandwich instead of bread.

...and popcorn instead of chips. Healthier and more filling!

5. For a great gluten-free dessert, try Rice Krispie Treat and fruit kabobs. Tasty and fun!

 6. Despite the messaging to the contrary that we're constantly bombarded with,

...there is great value in just being nice.

 7. Consider the words of the of the bluegrass song "Gospel in Review" by the Henhouse Prowlers:

Don't judge your neighbor unless you're looking in the mir'r
It doesn't matter one bit if they didn't come from here.
Feed the hungry, you might be hungry one day, too
Not everybody on the planet is as fortunate as you

Here's a Youtube link to the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PmKl3lKim8

8. If something hurts, try rubbing it. Rubbing can really help.

9. If you're making a two-layer cake from a standard 15.25 boxed mix in two 8-inch layer pans, for two evenly-sized layers each pan will required 1 2/3 cups plus 2 tablespoons of batter.

10. I get my haircuts from a barber named Ted,

...whose best-kept secret is that, though he's technically a barber, he knows how to give a stylin' gal cut.

Anyway, here are some words of wisdom from my talented barber, Ted: "Consider that you've married well if your spouse is a good person who isn't crazy."

11. Try using popcorn for croutons - it's really good.

12. If you're going to apologize for something, say "I'm sorry," not "I'm sorry you feel that way." The latter is not a sincere apology, just a self-excuse that puts the blame on the offended person, rather than on oneself for offending. If you can't give a sincere "I'm sorry" then don't apologize at all.

 13. If you're full, don't feel you have to clean your plate (or clean somebody else's for them) because you don't want to waste food. If you eat more food when you're already full you're wasting it just as much as if you threw it away. Except you'll be stuck with the extra calories.

 14. Consider this quote by James Michener: This is the greatest evil that grows out of a wrong act. Somebody always remembers it..." (So be careful how you act. And also what you say.

15. Remember that whatever you set out to do in life, it's a pretty sure bet that there will always be someone who's better than you and someone else who you are better than. So don't go through life comparing yourself to others but rather be comfortable in your own skin, whatever that skin may look like,