My 2026 Commencement Speech

        Another graduation season is upon us, and once again legions of young people will soon be stepping into their futures and the challenges of negotiating life in this turbulent world after having been sent on their with the many words of wisdom, insight, advice and encouragement proffered to them at their commencement ceremonies. 
         And once again it's time for my yearly commencement speech, in which I endeavor to offer the new graduates a few words of my own to help them along their way on subjects that might not have been covered by the keynote speakers at their graduation ceremonies.
      And so here it is, my 2026 Commencement Speech:   

​​     1. If you wake up in the morning and don't feel like eating, or, in fact, any time you find yourself lacking an appetite when it's time to eat, try eating a bagel. 

        It's surprising how a bagel can do the trick.

​​        2. When painting a room, take pictures of the things around the room before you move them,

...including the order of the books on the shelf,

...so that when it's time to put the room back together you'll know exactly where each thing was before you moved it.

​     3. Never leave your shopping cart in a parking space,​

​...or beached on the parking lot tree lawn.

​     Always wheel your cart over to the cart corral. It only takes a minute and it's the polite thing to do.

​     
​       4. Heed the wisdom of the song and know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. In other words, don’t argue a situation that there’s no way you’re going to win.

     
​        5. Also bear in mind that people can't be talked out of something they want or need to believe in.

     
​        6.  And if you tell somebody something they disagree with they may argue with you, but if you tell them something that is outside of their perceived reality they won't hear you. At least not the first time you say it.

​       7. Patience is not a virtue one is gifted with; it is a discipline that must be practiced and practiced and practiced before one becomes decent at it. 

             Kind of like shooting baskets. 
​  
​            8. Blink often. It's good for your eyes.

​     
​          9. Don't turn a three minute story into a twenty-minute saga.

​     
       10. If you're fortunate enough to be able to, it's okay to take  an occasional day where you sit around and just do nothing,  

        Only don't do it too often.

​        11.  When someone else is driving, let them drive. Don't tell them a better way to go, a better way to drive, or give any advice at all unless they ask you for it.

​     
​      12. In fact, give advice on any matter only sparingly, only if you truly know what you're talking about, and only if it's wanted.

         13.  Here's a really good and easy Spanish dessert called Tarta de Helado: 
          Ingredients:
​        About 1 1/2 (or so)  1.5 liter boxes of vanilla ice cream and  about a little more than one  bottle of chocolate shell.  (So buy two bottles). 

     N.B.: Before you use the chocolate shell be sure to let the bottle sit in a bowl of sink-hot water for about five minute then shake it very well!

           Method
           Take a 9" x 9" ( or bigger or smaller as desired) square dish,

...and cover the bottom  with a layer of ice cream.

       Cover the ice cream with chocolate shell, which will freeze pretty quickly.

          Add another layer of ice cream on top of the shell.

            Add one more layer each of shell and ice cream.
          Decorate the top ice cream layer with more chocolate shell. Freeze for a little while, maybe 20 minutes or so.

       Cut into slices. 

        Enjoy the rave reviews.

​​     
​      14. Always have two credit cards so you'll have a spare in case one is lost or stolen.

​     
​         15. Be a forgiving person. That way when you mess up you'll have a better chance of being given some grace.

       
​       16. Remember that true wealth lies in having enough money to be able give some away with a glad heart, while true poverty lies in not having enough money to be able to give any away. Or in having enough money to give some away, but not having a generous enough heart  to do so.

     
​       Best Wishes, Class of 2026. Be generous, patient, wise and forgiving, and go out and make the world a better place.