Ailantha - Blog

Wishing We Were Somehow Near Again

4/6/2020

     The last time I saw my mother was Friday, March 13, three weeks and three days ago. It feels like an immeasurable amount of time ago.
      Since my 99-year-old mother - now two-and-a-half-months from her 100th birthday - moved last November to the Sunrise senior care facility a mile from my house, I visited her every day with few exceptions. Until three weeks and three days ago.
      The final week I saw mother - though I didn't know at the time that this was the actual final week, or maybe I did know; that week was one of such confusion and unsureness, the week we were all about to transition from life as we knew it to life as it's become - I tried to warn my mother every day that the day might soon come when I wouldn't be able to visit her for a while. I warned her over and over even though at that point I didn't fully grasp or yet believe the warning myself. Still, I tried to explain to her that there was an epidemic and that we were hearing that soon, any day now, maybe tomorrow, Sunrise would be closed to outside visitors. She'd always tell me that she understood, but when I'd see her the following day she'd have forgotten what I'd told her the day before.
      The day came sooner than I realized it would. But that's how it went with the epidemic: it seemed to crawl up to us then suddenly it was upon us and life no longer went on as it had just a few days earlier. And so I saw my mother on Friday, March 13 and on Saturday, March 14 all the nursing homes and assisted living facilities in Ohio were under lock down. And a week or so later all of Ohio was under lock down.
       Since then I've called my mother every day, sometimes several times a day, but these days it sometimes takes several tries to get through to her. I mean, to get through to her mentally. She no longer seems able to answer her own phone, and so I must call the desk at Sunrise and ask them to have one of the care givers dial my number and then press the speaker so that my mom can hear. Some days my mother's spirits and mental clarity have been good, other days she's been gripped by anxiety or confusion.
       And yet, even on her most anxious, confused days, after I tell her that I can't come to see her because there's a terrible epidemic and we all have to stay home for a while she then comes around and rises to the occasion,

...maybe channeling the Army nurse she once was,

...and tells me that yes, we all have to stay home and stay healthy, and she urges me to do so.
(It's funny, but the times when this epidemic seems most weirdly unreal to me are the times when I'm on the phone telling my mother about the terrible epidemic for which reason we all have to stay inside. Every time I tell her this I feel like I'm in a scene from a science fiction movie; "10 Cloverfield Lane," to be specific, that flick about an alien invasion (or maybe not?) /environmental contamination situation (or maybe not?) that nonetheless has the movie's protagonists sheltering in place, though not always with relish).

The wonderful staff at Sunrise keeps in touch with the families of the residents,

...and helps us keep in touch with our loved ones.

The nurses and caregivers that I talk to tell me that my mom is doing well.
But I know she'd be better if she could see me. We both would be.

My heart goes out to everyone in whose shoes I'm walking.

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Lydia's No-Sew Disposable Mask

4/4/2020

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To mask or not to mask? That has been the question for Americans since the coronavirus epidemic began ravaging its way across our country back in January. January 21, to be exact.
      For months we were beset with confusing, contradictory, and distressing messages from health officials, government officials, government health officials, and Facebook friends over whether those of us who were not working in a health care capacity should be wearing face masks in public to help keep ourselves and others safe.
        Within the past few days, however, clarity has finally come from the Centers for Disease Control on the subject: Yes, we should all be wearing masks to impede the spread of the coronavirus in the population.
       Face masks, while they may not keep out virus droplets disseminated into the air by other people, do keep the droplets one exhales from escaping into the air and infecting other people. This is especially important as one can be carrying coronavirus without knowing it. Some infected people are asymptomatic, or have not yet exhibited symptoms, but can still spread the disease to others.
      The idea, then, is we should wear a mask to protect everybody else, and everybody else should wear a mask to protect us; or, as Pat Toomey, Republican Senator of Pennsylvania, so eloquently put it, "My mask protects you. Your mask protects me." It's a beautiful, all-American concept.
      However now the dilemma is, how does one acquire a face mask when there's a national shortage of masks even among health care workers? The solution that's being offered is that Americans should sew their own face masks. There are dozens of instructions online for how to sew a cloth face mask. But this requires owning a sewing machine - though, I suppose, one could buy a needle and thread and sew a mask by hand - and acquiring cloth and some elastic - but the Joanne's Fabric in my neighborhood is all out of elastic - though one could, I suppose, use shoe laces or strips of material to make a tie-on mask.
       However, in truth, not all of us feel we have the acumen to sew a mask. I know how to sew, but, in truth, I haven't yet sewn any masks because...I don't feel like it. I don't like sewing. I never have.
         But then this morning I happened to be scrolling down my Facebook page when I came across a post by my friend Lydia Freeman,

...who has designed a simple but brilliant disposable face mask made from one paper towel and two hair twisties.

Below is posted Lydia's link on how to make her disposable mask:

https://www.facebook.com/100009516366004/videos/2613356515658202/?t=0

The process involves tearing off a sheet of paper towel and holding it in a diamond shape,

...folding the towel twice,

...slipping the twisties onto the folded towel,

...folding the ends of the towel across the middle,

...making a total of six layers of protection,

...and you've got your mask.

Slip it over your ears,

...and voilà!

I tried making a paper towel mask myself following Lydia's instructions. It took me literally one minute to make.

And it fit fine.

Again, here's the link for the simple video instructions to make Lydia's No-Sew Disposable Mask:
https://www.facebook.com/100009516366004/videos/2613356515658202/?t=0
Check it out!

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A Note From The Front Line

4/2/2020

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My daughter Claire is a nurse who has traveled the world fighting disease and coming to the rescue with other nurses and doctors during health care crises in such places as Haiti,

...with her husband, Miguel,

...Sierra Leone during the Ebola epidemic,

...a refugee camp in Bangladesh,

...a hospital in Kurdistan,

...and the Bahamas last year after Hurricane Dorian,

...among other places.

   Claire is now on the front line fighting the coronavirus epidemic in Chicago as the charge nurse of several COVID-19 Intensive Care Units recently set up in the downtown hospital where she works. On March 28 she sent to the family email chain a brief update on her work on the COVID-19 units which I thought I'd share:
       Hi all,
      I am taking a day off today after another run of busy days. Our two COVID ICUs were almost full by the time I left on Friday, so plans are to move patients out of other areas starting today and have another three COVID ICUs opened by mid-next week, with more to come in the next couple of weeks. This is in addition to the hundreds of general medicine beds they are putting together for those who do not require ICU care.

The army corps of engineers has arrived in town and are working to convert one of the convention centers downtown into a 3,000 bed unit as well.

      As the charge nurse I am responsible for assigning beds and nurses to staff the beds. Near the end of the shift I put together the nursing assignment for the next shift. For my previous 32 bed unit this took about 20 minutes. Yesterday I spent over an hour trying to figure out how to staff the regular Medical ICU with the two COVID units. It was complicated by the fact that not all nurses can work COVID-some are high risk, and we are trying to keep them safe, too.

      Though anxiety is generally running high, I have been overwhelmed by the solidarity of the staff. Most of the men showed up one day clean shaven so they could wear the respirator masks without a beard. (It was weird to see the faces of doctors who have had beards as long as I have known them!) Retired nurses are coming back and local restaurants have been sending in food everyday, which has been really nice. I stopped taking the train to work to avoid exposing myself or exposing others, given the nature of this COVID work. So, for the first time in the 9 years I have worked at this hospital I am navigating the parking garages. I'm carpooling with a couple other nurses who live nearby who don't have cars, which is super helpful and also nice to have some company on the ride in, even though it's only about 5 miles.

       Today Miguel and I relaxed at home and ordered in, which we never do, but I figured we should support the local businesses, since the restaurants are closed to diners. I'm back to work on Monday.

      Prayers are appreciated.

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The Movie In My Mind

3/31/2020

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Like thousands of our fellow Ohioans across he state, Tom and I can be be found every afternoon at 2 pm, seven days a week, in front of our television watching Ohio Governor Mike Dewine's daily press conference.

By way of these daily briefings Governor Dewine keeps the Ohio citizenry informed and updated on the latest news and developments in our state on the coronavirus pandemic, including what steps are being taken, what strides are being made, and what directives are being issued at the state level to mitigate the spread of the virus, flatten the curve, and offer some economic relief to Ohioans.
Every day the Governor is joined at his press conference by Dr. Amy Acton, Director of the Ohio Department of Health, who elucidates the medical and scientific aspects of the covid-19 pandemic;

...Ohio Lieutenant Governor John Husted, who tends to cover the economic matters;

...and a couple of energetic, mesmerizing deaf interpreters.

    Along with the latest updates, information and directives Governor Dewine, Dr. Acton and Lieutenant Governor Husted generally share with us some words of hope, inspiration, and always, always, always a plea to stay home and practice social distancing.
Last week Dr. Acton and Governor Dewine began talking about a new machine that had been developed by Battelle, a global scientific research and development company located in Columbus. It was reported that this machine could sterilize N95 hospital masks, up to 80,000 thousand at a time, so that these critically-needed masks could be reused by doctors, nurses and other health care providers who are putting their lives on the line by treating coronavirus patients without sufficient protective gear.
     Battelle had already produced three of the mask-sanitizing machines which were ready for use; in fact, according to Governor Dewine, one machine would be for use here in Columbus, one wold be sent to New York, and one would be sent to Washington, D.C. Several more were in production to be sent to other coronavirus hot spots such as Chicago and Los Angeles.
     However, there was a hitch; these brand-new machines had not yet been approved for safe and effective use by the Food and Drug Administration. For a few days Governor Dewine and Dr. Acton kept us apprised of their argument with the FDA to bypass the standard protocols on new technologies and give emergency approval for use of the sanitizing machines.
     We'd been told last Saturday by Governor Dewine that he would skip the next day's press conference for the sake of giving everybody involved in the conferences a day off, unless some important news broke. Late Sunday morning it was announced on local news websites that the Governor had called a press conference for that afternoon, same time, same place. This meant that there was some important breaking news.
     The news turned out to be that the Food and Drug Administration had given approval for Battelle's mask sanitizing machines to clean 10,000 masks at a time. This number, though, infuriated our Governor who angrily insisted that the FDA relent under the circumstances and give an emergency waiver of its testing regulations to allow the machine to clean 80,000 masks, as, according to the Battelle scientists, it was built to do.
    Late Sunday night the FDA relented and approval was given for the masks to clean 80,000 masks at a time.
At yesterday's press conference the Governor said that the mask sanitizing machine is ready to be up and running today in Columbus and other machines will soon be on their way to other cities around the country.
The Battelle mask sanitizing machine.

The movie version of the above events began rolling in my mind while watching Sunday's press conference.

I saw Ohio Governor Mike Dewine,

...played in the movie by Toby Jones,

...angrily pleading with the recalcitrant FDA officials and convincing them to give emergency approval for the machine that would save the lives of doctors and nurses on the front lines of the corona virus epidemic.

I saw Dr. Amy Acton, brilliant global health scientist and Governor Dewine's vital right hand,

...played by Uma Thurman.

Lt. Governor John Husted, Governor Dewine's other right hand,

...would be played by Neil Patrick Harris.

Among the other characters in the story, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and lead member of the White House Corona Virus Task Force,

...would be played by John Turturro,

... Dr. Deborah Birx, Coronavirus Task Force Response Coordinator,

...would be played by Renee Zellweger,

...and Donald Trump, as he continues to play the comedian throughout this national crisis, would naturally be played by his alter ego, Alex Baldwin.

In my movie, new technology would then evolve at lightening speed that would produce machines to sterilize all existing personal protective gear for health care workers even as production of new, better protective gear reached record speed and the gear began flying off the assembly lines to doctors and nurses. In addition, tests not only for the coronavirus but for blood serum antibodies - to determine who had immunity - were perfected and distributed nationwide in such great quantities that every American could be tested as often as necessary. And a miraculous cure for the virus was discovered, followed by an 100% effective vaccine.
The final scenes would be of people around the world returning to their normal lives.

It's only a movie in my mind. But these days, don't we have time to dream?

References:
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2020/03/29/coronavirus-ohio-mike-dewine-fda-ruling-battelle-sterilization/2935414001/

https://www.wdtn.com/news/local-news/battelle-allowed-to-sterilize-160k-masks-in-ohio-daily-after-fda-lifts-limit/

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Back To Kroger's

3/28/2020

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"Hail Mary": A woman discovers the naked truth about herself.

"Hail Mary," the sequel to "Equal and opposite Reactions,"

...is now available for pre-order at a 15% discount from Black Rose Writing at:
https://www.blackrosewriting.com/romance/hailmary
...and by using the promo code PREORDER2020.

Back To Kroger's

     Friday, March 13 - exactly two weeks ago yesterday - feels like a lifetime ago. It feels as if that was the last day of life as we knew it. Maybe it was.
       In any case, that was the day I did what I presumed would be my last day of grocery shopping at Kroger's for a while, rounding out with a few final items what Tom referred to as our "war stock," those food and household supplies we figured we'd need to get us through the long period of staying at home that we'd already been warned was coming.
      It was a funny feeling, making that last trip to Kroger's. I suppose that's because I felt that this was going to be the last time I'd be out in a public place for a long time. I'd been to my last movie theater, my last restaurant,

...my last Wednesday morning get-together with my Panera Posse,

...without knowing at the time that that those last times were to be my lasts. Two days earlier I'd unknowingly taught my last piano lesson. Now I was making the last of the lasts, my last trip to Kroger's.
       "You know, we could go back to Kroger's if we need something," Tom reminded me.
        This was true.
       But of course by the day before yesterday when I made my first trip back to Kroger's since my last trip two weeks earlier, it was an altogether different world.
        Up until two weeks ago I used to zip into Kroger's almost every day. Sometimes twice a day. Seems I was always out of something that I'd forgotten to pick up when I was shopping the day before. Going to Kroger's was second nature for me.
         However by this past Thursday the thought of going into Kroger's left me feeling uneasy, edgy, tense, even.
   But then we needed - well, wanted - some fresh food and a few other items to supplement the war stock.
        Tom and I decided we should go to Kroger's together. I don't know why. Somehow, inexplicably, it felt safer for us to go together even though, of course, two of us going to the store was actually half as safe as one of us going. And yet neither of us wanted to send the other out alone.
        We planned for our shopping trip, double- and triple-checking our grocery list so as to be in and out of the store as quickly as possible. The night before we set the alarm for 6:15 am so as to be up in time to arrive at Kroger's by 7am, at which time the store was open for an hour just for senior citizens. (Turned out there were as many non-senior as senior citizens shopping at Kroger's during that hour).

We each grabbed a pair of our disposable latex not-for-medical-use gloves and a couple of disinfectant wipes just in case,

...and we set out for Kroger's.

When we arrived there was a worker at the front of the store holding a bottle of disinfectant spray and a roll of paper toweling who pointed out to us the line of shopping carts which she'd just sanitized. I wiped down my cart handle with my own wipe just in case.
For all the years I'd been coming to Kroger's, this day did feel different. I felt hyper-aware, hyper-vigilant. I expect everybody in the store did. We all kept our distance,

...stopping as necessary to give each other space.

Some of the shelves and bins were well-stocked,

...others less so,

...and still no toilet paper as far as I could see.
A store employee approached me and said in an apologetic tone that some of the customers were wondering why I was taking pictures. I explained to her that I was snapping shots for my blog.
Normally I would have offered the employee one of the "Ailantha" cards I carry in my purse.

This time I didn't.

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Hydroxychloroquine: Silver Bullet Or Fool's Gold?

3/26/2020

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This past Monday night I was listening, as I sometimes do, to Sean Hannity on the radio.

On this night he was jumping through his elbow with excitement.
Apparently the news had just broken of a Florida man who'd contracted coronavirus and was at death's door on the intensive care unit of a South Florida hospital. The man had been told by doctors that there was nothing more they could do for him; he said good-bye to his wife and children and prepared to die. However as a last resort the man was given a dose of hydroxychloroquine, the anti-malarial drug being promoted by Donald Trump as a cure for COVID-19. Within hours the man felt as if he'd never even been sick.

The following morning the man, 52-year-old Rio Giardinieri,

...was a guest on Glen Beck's radio program,

...where he told the story of his miraculous cure after having taken one dose of hydroxychloroquine.
I'll admit, the story - even if it was broken by Sean Hannity and Glen Beck - gave me a flash of hope, especially as Sean Hannity added that - and it appeared that he meant based on the case of the Florida man - the Food and Drug Administration was now going to send 10,000 doses of hydroxychloroquine to New York hospitals and Israel was going to send 6 million doses to the United States.
Not surprisingly, I suppose, it appears days later that Hannity, Beck, Fox News,

...and our sugar-spinner in chief,

...had spun the story into a sugary narrative that has not only added to the confusion and misinformation surrounding this maybe-maybe not wonder drug, but has brought out the very worst in some members of a group in whose hands we all place our lives.
      Across the nation there have been doctors who, prompted by unscientifically proven anecdotes such as the one of the Florida man, and banking on the possibility that hydroxychloroquine might in fact prove to be a silver bullet against COVID-19, have been hoarding the drug, writing massive prescriptions for dozens, hundreds, even thousands of pills for themselves and their families. The result of this hoarding of hydroxychloroquine has been that there's been a shortage of the drug for those who desperately need it to treat their rheumatoid arthritis.
      Then there's the story of the Arizona couple in their 60's who ate fish tank cleaner, thinking the chloroquine phosphate ingredient listed on the label was the same as the the drug chloroquine being promoted by Donald Trump as a miracle cure and preventative for the coronavirus. The man died and his wife is in critical condition from ingesting the poisonous chemical.
       As for the rest of us, we read stories of: a French study on two dozen coronavirus patients treated with hydroxychloroquine that was proclaimed a success by the tester; a Chinese study of one hundred coronavirus patients treated with hydroxychloroquine that concluded that the drug is useless against the disease; the drug having not yet undergone enough clinical testing to prove or disprove its efficacy against COVID-19; pharmacists nonetheless being told that they may fill 14-day prescriptions for hydroxychloroquine for patients who have tested positive for COVID-19.
     As it turns out, the 10,000 doses being sent to New York are not for treating coronavirus patients across the board as Sean Hannity had inferred, but for use in running clinical trials. Which brings us back to doctors being allowed to prescribe 14-day prescriptions for coronavirus patients even though clinical trails to prove its efficacy have not yet taken place.
       As for the supposed 6 million doses of hydroxycloroquine sent over from Israel...well, I don't even know what that's about.
      In truth, when it comes to hydroxychloroquine none of us at this point knows what it is. Silver bullet? Fool's gold? Who knows?
      But as for me, for the sake of having one less thing to angst about, I wish that until the conclusion is reached one way or another there would be a news blackout on hydroxychloroquine and all conversation about it would cease.
       Fat chance.

References:
https://nypost.com/2020/03/22/florida-man-with-coronavirus-says-drug-touted-by-trump-saved-his-life/

https://www.yahoo.com/news/florida-man-whose-game-changer-coronavirus-treatment-was-touted-by-trump-is-a-believer-but-warns-dont-try-this-at-home-134453632.html

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/25/health/sanjay-gupta-podcast-march-25-treatments-wellness/index.html

https://www.cnn.com/2020/03/23/health/chloroquine-hydroxycholoroquine-drugs-explained/index.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8144449/Man-dies-wife-critical-care-took-fish-tank-cleaner-cure-coronavirus.html

https://www.yahoo.com/news/fauci-won-t-bait-ingraham-034632993.html

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-25/hydroxychloroquine-no-better-than-regular-covid-19-care-in-study

https://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2020/03/23/health/bc-us-med-virus-outbreak-malaria-drug-evidence.html

https://auburnpub.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/cuomo-ny-to-conduct-drug-trials-for-coronavirus-treatment/article_0fb6c870-7e29-5ee5-8bda-bbda132a5418.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/24/business/doctors-buying-coronavirus-drugs.html

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They Knew. They Knew.

3/21/2020

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Yesterday the New York Times broke the story that the Trump White House had not only been warned for years by health officials to prepare for a global pandemic, but that the Administration knew well in advance of the covid-19 outbreak that our country was in no way prepared, neither logistically nor materially, to handle the coming pandemic.
During the Ebola epidemic that ravaged West Africa from 2014 to 2016 the Obama White House created an agency within the Department of Health and Human Services whose task it was to prepare for future outbreaks of contagious diseases.

In the wake of the epidemic Obama subsequently called for a study of the lessons learned from the Ebola outbreak.

It was as a result of this study that Obama Administration also created an office at the National Security Council to, according to the Times article, "coordinate responses and raise the alarm early" in the event of an imminent contagious disease outbreak.
After Donald Trump's election Lisa Monaco, President Obama's Homeland Security Adviser, walked a number of incoming high-level Trump officials - among them Rex Tillerson, nominated Secretary of State; John Kelly, designated Secretary of Homeland Security; Rick Perry, designated Energy Secretary, and Tom Bossert, who was to become Trump's Homeland Security Adviser - through an exercise to prepare for the response to a deadly flu outbreak.

John Kelley and Rex Tillerson

     According to Ms. Monaco, all the above officials involved took the threat of an epidemic seriously. But every one of those people had been fired or resigned well before the coronavirus outbreak.
      And in 2018 John Bolton eliminated the National Security office charged with coordinating the nationwide response to the outbreak of a contagious disease.
       However, last year the Trump Administration's Department of Health and Human Services produced a simulation of the outbreak of a deadly epidemic in the United States. The simulation ran in real time from January, 2019 to August, 2019.
      Eerily, the scenario, code-named "Crimson Contagion," was of an outbreak of a highly contagious respiratory virus with symptoms of a dry cough and high fever that originated in China, was quickly spread around the world by air travelers, and within a month-and-a-half was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization.
    After tracking the fictional virus and its outcome over seven months, Health and Human Services drafted a report that, according to the Times article, "laid our in stark detail repeated cases of confusion in the exercise. Federal agencies jockeyed over who was in charge. State officials and hospitals struggled to figure out what kind of equipment was stockpiled or available. Cities and states went their own ways on school closings."
     The report also predicted shortages of of antiviral medications, personal protective equipment and ventilators. And the report predicted 110 million Americans would become ill, 7.7 million would require hospital care, and 586,000 would die before the pandemic had run its course.
      The "Crimson Contagion" report was completed last October. And here we are today, it's predictions now being played out while our fellow citizens sicken and die, our beleaguered health care workers struggle to keep them alive with insufficient equipment and protective gear, our economy suffers, our governors grapple with the crisis each on their own,

...and Donald Trump spins and shillys and brags and prevaricates and equivocates and rages at any journalist who tries to get an honest answer from him.

Donald Trump has declared that no one ever thought such an pandemic as the coronavirus was coming.
He later stated that he always knew the pandemic was coming.
The second statement is true.

References:
https://news.yahoo.com/virus-outbreak-cascade-warnings-went-193648556.html

https://news.yahoo.com/trump-administration-ran-simulation-virus-192624518.html

https://www.politicususa.com/2020/03/19/trump-claiming-he-knew-pandemic-was-coming-is-actually-worse-its-malpractice-if-true-msnbc-host-says.html

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A Lesson For The Piano Teacher

3/19/2020

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Tonight should have been my students' piano recital at Graves recital hall.

     It's hard to believe that a week and a day ago I was still thinking that our recital would happen. But I think I was still in denial - or at least partial denial - back then (see post from 3/13/202, "My Five Stages of the Coronavirus Epidemic"). It took a call one week ago today from the venue telling me that all performances were cancelled to escort my brain from denial to acceptance of the fact that our piano recital wasn't happening.
     Well, after all we'd been working for six months, my students and I, on this performance. But then we're always working on a performance. I'm a performance-based teacher. In fact, I think I might have a hard time teaching piano if I wasn't always aiming towards the goal of my students performing.
        Mayhaps this is because to me piano is an academic subject just like any other, and the students' twice-yearly recital is the test, as it were.

Of course, as with any academic subject, the real goal of piano lessons isn't intrinsically to pass a test. (It's also not to make children better in math, as I've often informed parents who believe that knowing how to play the piano will make their child better in math. I tell parents, "Well, I can't guarantee that they'll be better in math. All I can guarantee is that if they take piano lessons they'll know how to play the piano." And to myself I add, I mean, isn't that enough?).
And, while I do not assert the proposition that piano lessons are for fun and relaxation initially, I do always tell my students (and their parents) that they are taking lessons so that they can have some music in their lives, and, if they stick with it, playing the piano will eventually be a fun and relaxing past time for them.

But now, all of a sudden, after all my years of teaching and playing piano, the lesson of taking piano lessons - or lessons on any musical instrument - has come home to me in a new way that I never had reason - none of us had - to think of before.
        Because of the world-wide coronavirus outbreak, we are now in a time when all American citizens are expected - and may soon be ordered if our country goes into a lock down - to stay home as much as possible, leaving our houses only for the necessities of work, food shopping, or medical emergencies. This leaves a good number of us - including a whole country full of children home from the closed schools - at home full-time, or at least spending a greater amount of time at home than they've ever had to before.
       So here's my point: During this pandemic when we all must stay at home, if one has the availability of playing a musical instrument, one has something to do to help one pass the time productively and/or enjoyably.
        And now, more than ever, we need good things to do to help us pass the time.

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Uneasily Sheltering In Place

3/17/2020

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Like many of our fellow citizens, Tom and I have been heeding the call of our Ohio Governor Mike Dewine,

...staying home and out of public places, "sheltering in place," as it's being called.
And I must say that, for me, what's not been to like about it?
It's been warm and cozy at home,

...there's plenty of food in the fridge,

...and I'm finding plenty to do:
Writing my blog or working on my next novel,

...playing the piano,

...going for walks around the neighborhood,

...reading the papers and eating ice cream with my mate,

...and sitting on the couch with him every afternoon to listen to the Governor's daily press conference.

And, as I haven't done so since around 1985, I could always organize my house,

...should I so desire.

    In truth, I should be leading a pretty sweet existence right now. And in truth, I would be, because I'm finding sheltering in place to be quite pleasant. Or it would be...If only I weren't so scared.
     Scared for my children. Scared for my mom. Scared for my siblings. Scared for all my family members. Scared for my friends. Scared for everybody I know and everybody I don't know.
     And, of course, scared for myself. Though, actually, the truth is that I'm not so much scared of catching the coronavirus per se, not that I want to, and it's not even so much that I'm scared of dying of the coronavirus per se, though that's probably because, as was pointed out by the chatty, chess-playing Grim Reaper in the movie "The Seventh Seal" (for all you Ingmar Berman buffs),

...that's not really a subject most people can even wrap their heads around, anyway. (I'm paraphrasing the actual movie quote). Anyway, I can't either, at the moment.
     No, what actually terrifies me is the thought of catching the coronavirus, having to go to the hospital, and being put on a ventilator. Somehow I can't stand the thought of having to lie in bed for days - weeks? months? - attached to a tube.
     Late last night I got to thinking about being on a ventilator and I got so frightened my heart started pounding and I was on the verge of crying. I had to take deep breaths and force myself not to cry.
      Seriously, I've never been so frightened that I felt like I was going to cry.

When I was twenty years old and living in Europe I once got lost in Rome on Christmas day and I didn't speak any Italian and had no idea where my youth hostel was, all I knew was that it was on the other side of town from where I was and I had no idea how I was going to get back there, and I still didn't feel this scared.

    But late last night, at the thought of being on a ventilator, I felt like I was going to cry.
    Finally I was able to calm myself down with two thoughts:
     1. I used to think that I'd rather die than have to be put inside a full-body MRI machine. And yet when the time came that I once had to get an hour-and-a-half-long MRI, I ended up feeling so calm and comfortable encapsulated inside the machine that I asked the technician to turn off the James Taylor so I could take a nap. It was a wonderful nap.
      2. Maybe if my turn comes to need a ventilator there won't be enough available for me to be put on one, in which case I figure I'll just have to swim through it on my own...or maybe play chess with the Reaper.

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I Bought A Bidet

3/15/2020

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Ever since a friend of mine returned from a visit to China several years ago and told me about a wonderful warm water jet-spray upward-blowing air-dryer bidet heated toilet seat she encountered there I've wanted a bidet toilet seat of my own. (See post from 11/13/2014, "All I Want For Christmas Is A Toto Washlet.")
My desire to own a bidet increased last year when, during a trip to Honolulu, I experienced a high tech bidet,

....a Toto Washlet Performance Toilet (see post from 5/9/2019, "A Nice Surprise At The Royal Hawaiian Center")

Last September I finally acquired my bidet, a Luxe Bidet Neo 185 (Elite), normally $79.99, specially marked down to $42.99.

Not, alas, the heated-seat, warm-water, air-dryer bidet of my dreams, my Luxe Bidet was, rather, a plastic gizmo that attached to the back of the the toilet and to the water valve.

Me installing the bidet.

Tom fixing my installation job.

Our Luxe Bidet Neo 185 (Elite). Note our Squatty Potty tucked beneath the commode (See post from 5/8/2016, "The Squatty Potty, Part 2").

How have I liked my bidet in all its functional, upward water-shooting simplicity?
Very well, actually, up until now. But now I like my bidet even better. In fact, at this moment time I rather cherish my Luxe Bidet Neo 185 (Elite). Because we are now living in a moment in time when toilet paper has become a precious, hard-to-come-by commodity.

      And with my bidet, though one does need something with which to pat oneself dry after being jet-sprayed, that something doesn't need to be TP. It could be a small square of paper towling or even a piece of cloth that one could wash and re-use, which we in this sequestered household may resort to if our toilet paper stash should run out before the coronavirus has run its course.
       So I guess the moral of this vignette is that mayhaps instead of hoarding and obsessing over toilet paper, folks should be ordering bidets. Here's the Amazon link for bidet toilet seats, in case anybody's interested:
https://www.amazon.com/s?i=aps&k=bidet%20&ref=nb_sb_noss_2&url=search-alias%3Daps
        Of course, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the water doesn't go off.

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Wishing We Were Somehow Near Again

Lydia's No-Sew Disposable Mask

A Note From The Front Line

The Movie In My Mind

Back To Kroger's

Back To Kroger's

Hydroxychloroquine: Silver Bullet Or Fool's Gold?

They Knew. They Knew.

A Lesson For The Piano Teacher

Uneasily Sheltering In Place

I Bought A Bidet

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