AND the Lord sat among the celestial host, and he was greatly wroth. He looked down, far beneath the heavenly and earthly planes, and shouted, "YOU! Get up here! NOW!"
And lo, there appeared before the Lord the demon Satan, lounging upon a couch of flame and filing his claws. "You rang?" he said, nonchalantly inspecting a sharpened claw. "Show some respect in my presence, Satan." "No." said Satan. He stuck out his forked tongue and laughed. "What are you gonna do? Send me to Hell?" "You bet I will," said the Lord, now mightily annoyed. But as he prepared to cast the demon back down to the fiery depths, Satan sat up and cried out, "No, wait, Lord, not yet! Gimme a break, it's hot as you-know-what down there! Look I'm sorry, okay? For what have you summoned your servant, Lord?" "My servant?" said the Lord, shaking his head. "That'll be the day. I summoned you, all right. What the @#$% mischief are you up to now?" Satan mockingly raised a fiery eyebrow. "Oh, you don't know? What, you haven't been reading your New York Times?" "Yes, I've been reading my New York Times!" shouted the Lord, shaking his copy of that morning's Times in the foolish demon's face. "And you just keep it up, smart aleck, 'cause you've got one hoof back in Hell!" "Okay, okay," said Satan, raising his claws deferentially. "All respect from now on, all respect." The Lord smacked his newspaper on the demon's snout. "Seriously, I know you have an inhuman capacity for evil..." "Of course I do," said Satan, shrugging and rubbing his snout. "I'm inhuman." "Yeah, you are," sighed the Lord. "But lately you've been working time and a half. All these wars, these genocides, these mass shootings, these disasters, all this suffering. Can't you take a break for one Me damn day?" "Sure," said Satan. "Release me from Hell, I'll be as good as gold. A perfect angel. I promise." "Yeah, and you're a liar," said the Lord. "Got me there," Satan chuckled. "They don't call me the Father of Lies for nothing." "Aw, look, man - er, I mean, beast, isn't it bad enough all the misery you cause on my favorite planet? Do you have to mock me on top of it all?" "Mock you, Lord?" said Satan, now genuinely puzzled. "What are you talking about?" The Lord shoved the front page of that day's New York Times in front of Satan's face and pointed to one of the headlines. "This!" Satan squinted at the column of print then burst out laughing. He laughed uncontrollably, laughed too hard to speak but slapped his knee joint with glee and laughed until the steaming hot tears splashed down his hairy cheeks. "Oh, you think it's funny, do you?" said the Lord, and in his anger cast Satan back down to Hell. "No, no, wait," called the demon as he fell back down into the fire, "Hey, I'm sorry, gimme a chance to explain! Please!" The Lord snapped the demon back up into his presence. "Explain," he said. "Aw, it was just kind of a joke," said Satan. "I thought it would be funny." "Funny? said the Lord. "Are you serious? You've granted this guy fame, fortune and power beyond belief, in fact you put him in the position of the most powerful man in the world. And what does he do? He sins against me and commits crimes against man." "And against woman," added Satan. "Oh, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about his crimes against woman." "Against a lot of women, for that matter," said Satan. "Right," said the Lord. "A lot of crimes against a lot of people. For which he never pays because you've also made him the luckiest son of a banana in the galaxy. And I'm guessing you're going to put him back into power next year. Am I right about that?" Satan shrugged. "What can I say? The guy did sell me his soul. So I give him whatever he wants and let him slither off the hook. 'Til he comes slithering home to yours truly." Satan laughed. "Boy, is he gonna be one surprised sinner on that day! No gold-plated bathrooms in Hell!" "Yeah, yeah, whatever. But this," said the Lord, smacking his hand on the news headline. "Letting him sell my book! For fifty-nine ninety-nine, yet!" Satan sighed. "All right, maybe it wasn't the best idea. But the guy's broke, runs through money like nobody's business, even I can't keep him in cash. Selling the Bibles was actually his idea, I just accommodated him, like I do all his ventures. And, like I said, I thought it was...hee, hee...you know...hee, hee...kinda...hee, hee... Whoa! Hey! Wait...!" "Good-bye," sighed the Lord.
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The Plane, Ms. James! Take The $%*! Plane! Today, Monday, March 25, is the big day on which, if Donald Trump doesn't scrape up the $454 million dollar penalty he owes on his civil fraud conviction, New York Attorney General Letitia James will begin seizing his assets. Supposedly. I say "supposedly" because Donald Trump is constantly gifted with such uncanny good luck that one can't help but wonder if perhaps Mr. "Art of the Deal" made a deal somewhere along the way with a certain fellow entrepreneur, ...in which case by the end of the day he'll have slithered away as surely as he always slithers away from accountability for his plethora of earthly sins, and will likely continue to do so until the day he shuffles off his mortal coil. But let's say that this time by some stroke of heavenly fortune and justice Donald Trump ends up having to pay for his crime the same as the rest of us would have to. Let’s just say that today Attorney General James actually starts scooping up some of Trump’s cash or high-priced stuff. Word is she’s going first for one of his golf courses, but I say, forget the danged golf course. Why bother? He’s got well over a dozen of them. No, I say take something meaningful, something that, while serving justice, would also be a great public service. Ms. James, please, before you take anything else, take Donald Trump’s plane! Can you imagine if Donald Trump didn't have his plane to whisk him around to his monster rallies all the invective, venom, lies, disinformation, hateful, unhinged, racist, xenophobic rhetoric and other Trump-flavored garbage We the People would be spared? Because If the Donald didn't have his Trump plane he'd have to scrounge around for a jet to rent. And who do you think would rent him a jet now that it’s public knowledge that he doesn’t have half a billion dollars to rub together? Oh, I suppose maybe he could get some rich, super rich, or crazy rich toady to lend him their jet. But it surely wouldn't be as comfy for him as his own 100 million dollar flying Xanadu. And then, landing at a rally in something like this, ...just wouldn't have the same schwing as landing in this. The thing is, not having his own plane might put a serious damper on Donald Trump's campaign rally circuit. And wouldn't that be a blessing. Reference https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-legal-news-brief-trumps-media-merger-is-unlikely-to-stop-letitia-james-from-targeting-his-assets-on-monday-174625369.html?fr=sycsrp_catchall There once were two billionaires, one of them rich, ...and the other one poor. The poor billionaire was a greedy man who gave little away and even refused to pay the wages that he owed his workers. He owned a luxurious mansion in the city, ...and another by the sea. Now it came to pass that the poor billionaire committed many crimes against his country and against his fellow human beings, for which the judges required of him a mighty penalty, while his lawyers likewise required of him great fees, so that he was in debt for almost 600 million dollars. But alas, the poor billionaire, who had foolishly run through his fortune, did not have the money to pay the debt, so that the judges called for the seizure of his luxurious possessions. And so the poor billionaire loudly wailed and gnashed his teeth. But the rich billionaire was a generous woman, ...who gave away her two mansions, ...so that they could be sold and the money given to those in need. The rich billionaire likewise gave away billions of dollars to help the needy, and she gave also of her billions to those who provide for the common good, such as the Girl Scouts and Habitat for Humanity. And at the same time that the poor billionaire was wailing and gnashing his teeth because he had not 600 million dollars to bail himself out and his worldly goods were to be seized by the law, the rich billionaire gave away to charity even more than that amount. And so I say to unto you, the lesson of this parable is not that one billionaire possessed more money than the other; the lesson is that true wealth lies in having enough money to be able give some away with a glad heart, while true poverty lies in not having enough money to be able to give some away. Or having enough money to give some away, but not enough heart to do so. Now it later came to pass that the poor billionaire fell into another great sum of money, for the poor billionaire, though poor, always enjoyed wondrous good fortune. And yet, I say unto you, even though he gain the whole world, the poor billionaire will always be poor. And, though she give the sum of all her riches away, the rich billionaire will always be rich. References https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/19/business/mackenzie-scott-donates-640-million-open-call/index.html https://people.com/home/mackenzie-scott-donation-beverly-hills-estate-california-charity/ https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/20/opinions/trump-bond-financial-problems-ghitis/index.html https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewsolender/2020/10/23/vast-majority-of-trumps-charitable-giving-reportedly-came-from-land-deals/?sh=6db83913610d https://www.foxnews.com/politics/dozens-of-lawsuits-accuse-trump-of-not-paying-his-bills-reports-claim |
"Tropical Depression"
by Patti Liszkay Buy it on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BTPN7NYY "Equal And Opposite Reactions"
by Patti Liszkay Buy it on Amazon: http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa or from The Book Loft of German Village, Columbus, Ohio Or check it out at the Columbus Metropolitan Library
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