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I, INVALID, PART TWO: MY (BROKEN) LEFT FOOT
...Continued from yesterday:
In truth, I can't that say my diagnosis of a broken foot came as a complete surprise. Based on the pain, I kind of suspected as much myself. Which got me to wondering: if a mere stress fracture hurts this much, how much must a real fracture (aka, the kind of fracture the doctor warned me that my stress fracture would morph into if I didn't stay off it) hurt?
On the other hand, I must 'fess up that I have a low tolerance for pain. This was first pointed out to me by a French friend - my best friend, in fact - when I was living in Paris 50 years ago and my friend called me "douillette," which means someone who can't stand pain because they're a softie. (Or does what I looked like back then make that too hard to believe?)
In truth, I can't that say my diagnosis of a broken foot came as a complete surprise. Based on the pain, I kind of suspected as much myself. Which got me to wondering: if a mere stress fracture hurts this much, how much must a real fracture (aka, the kind of fracture the doctor warned me that my stress fracture would morph into if I didn't stay off it) hurt?
On the other hand, I must 'fess up that I have a low tolerance for pain. This was first pointed out to me by a French friend - my best friend, in fact - when I was living in Paris 50 years ago and my friend called me "douillette," which means someone who can't stand pain because they're a softie. (Or does what I looked like back then make that too hard to believe?)
Anyway, even though the thought that I might indeed have a broken foot had already crossed my mind, as soon as the doctor confirmed it I began blathering about how I was leaving the following Monday on a three-week trip, I was going to Chicago where I was planning to walk all around, then to Los Angeles, then to Oregon where I was planning to hike all around, then back to Los Angeles...the doctor listened then shrugged, though not unsympathetically.
After I returned home with my broken left foot and my moon boot,
After I returned home with my broken left foot and my moon boot,
...I spent the rest of the day with my foot elevated while I cancelled plane and hotel reservations. The relief I felt to be out of major pain alleviated the disappointment of cancelling my trip. In fact, I can't say I was yearning to go anywhere on my broken, moon-booted foot.
I did for a time think that once my knee-scooter arrived, I'd be knee-scooting not only around the house, but soon going on scooting outings and errands, as I've occasionally seen other booted scooters doing.
However, when my pretty blue scooter arrived,
I did for a time think that once my knee-scooter arrived, I'd be knee-scooting not only around the house, but soon going on scooting outings and errands, as I've occasionally seen other booted scooters doing.
However, when my pretty blue scooter arrived,
...I found that the knee seat hurt my left knee, the scooting hurt my right knee and foot, and gripping the handlebars was hard on my hands. I had Tom disassemble the scooter and return it to Amazon, from whence it came. Alas, no boot-scooting for me.
Rather I spend most of the day sitting, making brief forays into the kitchen to get some food. I fix my breakfast and lunch. Tom fixes dinner. He also washes the dishes, does the laundry, sweeps the floor, cleans the bathrooms, and does the grocery shopping. My daughter Theresa does the vacuuming. This past Saturday she and her friend Mayren arrived with groceries and then spent the day washing the floors, cleaning the kitchen, stripping and re-making the beds, putting away laundry, and doing various and sundry other household chores. Friends and relatives have stopped by to visit and bring food. So I've been more than provided for.
As for me, I mostly sit, or lie, around the house, writing,
Rather I spend most of the day sitting, making brief forays into the kitchen to get some food. I fix my breakfast and lunch. Tom fixes dinner. He also washes the dishes, does the laundry, sweeps the floor, cleans the bathrooms, and does the grocery shopping. My daughter Theresa does the vacuuming. This past Saturday she and her friend Mayren arrived with groceries and then spent the day washing the floors, cleaning the kitchen, stripping and re-making the beds, putting away laundry, and doing various and sundry other household chores. Friends and relatives have stopped by to visit and bring food. So I've been more than provided for.
As for me, I mostly sit, or lie, around the house, writing,
...reading,
...playing my ukulele,
...and occasionally watching a movie. So far I've watched "Terminator," "Terminator 2," and "Terminator 3,"
...though as everybody who's ventured into the "Terminator" franchise knows - and now I know - I should have stopped after "Terminator 2."
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I, INVALID, PART ONE: FOUR INSULTS AND AN INJURY
While I can't pinpoint the exact moment when a web of micro-cracks (as the doctor described it) befell the bone on the top of my left foot, it's probably a pretty good bet that my stress-fractured foot is the result of a series of insults to said foot bone that ended in injury;
Insult # 1:
I'm guessing the initial insult began about a week earlier when I, who gave up gardening years ago in favor of other more sedentary time-consuming pursuits,
Insult # 1:
I'm guessing the initial insult began about a week earlier when I, who gave up gardening years ago in favor of other more sedentary time-consuming pursuits,
...got a bee in my bonnet and decided that the garden that I had been neglecting for years needed an immediate landscaping intervention. Thus I spent the last few days in July and the first four days in August digging up plants, stomping on the edge of a shovel like the guy in the picture below,
...except wearing old sneakers instead of work boots (at least for the first few days unitl I got a clue and started wearing my hiking boots) and sometimes, if the ground was extra-tough, hopping on the edge of the shovel with both feet. Then I'd haul the heavy shovelsful of dirt and plant across the yard from an old spot to a new spot.
At one point, while I was huffing and puffing a 2 cubic foot bag of mulch from the trunk of my car around to the the backyard, the thought occurred to me that, considering my age and the fact that I wasn't physically accustomed to this kind of labor, maybe all this intense shoveling and schlepping wasn't the best idea. But the thought passed.
Insult #2:
After all the heavy-duty digging that went on up until Friday, the fourth day of August, the second insult, I'm thinking, must been on Saturday, the fifth day of August, when I spent all afternoon walking around the Ohio State Fair with my daughter's family, who'd arrived the evening before from Los Angeles (see post from 8/15/2023, www.ailantha.com/blog/back-to-the-fair).
At one point, while I was huffing and puffing a 2 cubic foot bag of mulch from the trunk of my car around to the the backyard, the thought occurred to me that, considering my age and the fact that I wasn't physically accustomed to this kind of labor, maybe all this intense shoveling and schlepping wasn't the best idea. But the thought passed.
Insult #2:
After all the heavy-duty digging that went on up until Friday, the fourth day of August, the second insult, I'm thinking, must been on Saturday, the fifth day of August, when I spent all afternoon walking around the Ohio State Fair with my daughter's family, who'd arrived the evening before from Los Angeles (see post from 8/15/2023, www.ailantha.com/blog/back-to-the-fair).
Insult #3
I expect insult #3 must have been the sixth day of August, when, after the insults inflicted on the fourth and fifth days of August, I was on my feet from morning until night preparing, serving, and cleaning up a big family party (see post from 8/17/2023, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/another-day-another-celebration).
I expect insult #3 must have been the sixth day of August, when, after the insults inflicted on the fourth and fifth days of August, I was on my feet from morning until night preparing, serving, and cleaning up a big family party (see post from 8/17/2023, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/another-day-another-celebration).
Insult #3 ½
On Monday, the seventh of August, I took my grand daughters out for some back-to-school clothes shopping.
But as we weren't out for too long, I count that outing as only half an insult.
But even so, I think by then the damage was already done. After we'd made our purchases I suggested to the girls that we go out for lunch. They, however, both agreed that they'd rather have the food at my house (aka party left-overs from the day before). I recall feeling a waft of relief that we could go straight home, as my foot was already hurting.
Though I spent a considerable amount of time off my feet that afternoon, I found myself wondering why the rest wasn't helping my foot.
Insult #4
The next day was Tuesday, August 8, the day of the Ohio State Issue 1 election. Here's something I didn't share in my post about working the polls that day (see post from 8/10/2023: https://www.ailantha.com/blog/i-machine-judge): My left foot was killing me all day long. I started working at my polling site at 5:30 am. By 7:30 am I thought I'd never make it through the day, which ended at 8:30 pm. And though as a machine judge I was on my feet and in a state of low grade misery almost the whole of the fifteen hours, somehow I did make it. Funny how you can find the resources to do what needs to be done. But if the last straw hadn't already been dropped on my foot the day before, this would have been it.
The following day I woke up early, not having been able to sleep very well, and looked at my hurting foot, the top of which was now swollen and reddish. I called my podiatrist's office. The receptionist, though sympathetic, informed me that the doctor was working only that morning then he was leaving straight away on vacation, and that he was already triple booked for the morning. I don't think I actually started crying, but I must have sounded close enough.
"If you can get right over we'll get you in," the wonderful receptionist said. I assured her I'd be over in a flash. And I was.
I was as grateful as I've ever been to anyone as I was the podiatrist and his kind staff, who squeezed me in ahead of the triple-booked rush.
The doctor informed me that I had a stress fracture, outfitted me in a moonboot-esque fracture walking boot,
But even so, I think by then the damage was already done. After we'd made our purchases I suggested to the girls that we go out for lunch. They, however, both agreed that they'd rather have the food at my house (aka party left-overs from the day before). I recall feeling a waft of relief that we could go straight home, as my foot was already hurting.
Though I spent a considerable amount of time off my feet that afternoon, I found myself wondering why the rest wasn't helping my foot.
Insult #4
The next day was Tuesday, August 8, the day of the Ohio State Issue 1 election. Here's something I didn't share in my post about working the polls that day (see post from 8/10/2023: https://www.ailantha.com/blog/i-machine-judge): My left foot was killing me all day long. I started working at my polling site at 5:30 am. By 7:30 am I thought I'd never make it through the day, which ended at 8:30 pm. And though as a machine judge I was on my feet and in a state of low grade misery almost the whole of the fifteen hours, somehow I did make it. Funny how you can find the resources to do what needs to be done. But if the last straw hadn't already been dropped on my foot the day before, this would have been it.
The following day I woke up early, not having been able to sleep very well, and looked at my hurting foot, the top of which was now swollen and reddish. I called my podiatrist's office. The receptionist, though sympathetic, informed me that the doctor was working only that morning then he was leaving straight away on vacation, and that he was already triple booked for the morning. I don't think I actually started crying, but I must have sounded close enough.
"If you can get right over we'll get you in," the wonderful receptionist said. I assured her I'd be over in a flash. And I was.
I was as grateful as I've ever been to anyone as I was the podiatrist and his kind staff, who squeezed me in ahead of the triple-booked rush.
The doctor informed me that I had a stress fracture, outfitted me in a moonboot-esque fracture walking boot,
...with the admonition to nonetheless stay off the foot to keep the small cracks from turning into a big honking crack. (He didn't actually say "honking," but gestured with his hands to suggest that the ensuing crack would be a big honking one). He advised me to walk on it only the absolute minimum as required until my next appointment in three weeks, and likewise suggested that I acquire a knee scooter so as to assure that I stay off the foot.
I came home and put my moonbooted foot up. The relief was exquisite.
And so has gone life for the past ten days, me sitting around in my boot with my foot up, whiling away the time. The agenda will be more of the same for the immediate future.
To be continued...
I came home and put my moonbooted foot up. The relief was exquisite.
And so has gone life for the past ten days, me sitting around in my boot with my foot up, whiling away the time. The agenda will be more of the same for the immediate future.
To be continued...
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ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER CELEBRATION
...Continued from previous post:
The next day, Sunday, August 6, we threw a party for Theresa's birthday.
Though the guests weren't due until 5 pm, nonetheless on Sunday morning we hit the ground running - or rather, cleaning,
The next day, Sunday, August 6, we threw a party for Theresa's birthday.
Though the guests weren't due until 5 pm, nonetheless on Sunday morning we hit the ground running - or rather, cleaning,
...prepping,
...cooking,
...dish-washing...
...and otherwise setting up.
At 5pm the guests began arriving,
...including the birthday girl and her friend Mayren,
...who brought a beautiful Mexican tres leches birthday cake.
Everyone helped set out the food,
...which included:
Roast beef au jus,
Roast beef au jus,
...mashed potatoes, green beans almondine, corn, , hot dogs,
...stuffed mushrooms,
...rolls warm from the oven,
Mac and cheese,
...chips, veggies and dips,
...tres leches cake, M&M cookies and cherry almon streusel pie,
...and fruit salad in a watermelon bowl.
And when everything was set out and ready (except for the watermelon bowl, which I left in the kitchen),
...we dug in.
Theresa cutting her cake the correct way,
...a circle in the middle, then slices around the circle.
We then whiled away the evening, having seconds and thirds, chatting,
...playing,
...watching the highlights of the U.S. Women's Soccer World Cup match,
...and washing pots and pans.
Then the guests started heading for home,
...and after a while the dining room was cleared away and the leftovers put away,
...and there was just enough time for a couple of rounds of Exploding Kittens before bed time, which rounded out the day nicely.
"HAIL MARY" IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AUDIOBOOK
BACK TO THE FAIR
Of the many things I love about Columbus, Ohio, not least is the Ohio State Fair.
I am a consummate Fair lover and Fair goer. In the over four decades I've lived in Columbus, I've only missed the yearly State Fair two or three times.
Or at least that was the case until COVID came along. Alas, the State Fair was among the activities which that nasty little virus put the kibosh on back in the summer of 2020, and somehow it took my mate Tom and I three years to get ourselves back.
But this year we finally got ourselves back, and how sweet it was, even more so because this was the year that the sun, moon, stars, and everyone's schedules finally aligned such that the Fair coincided with my daughter's family's yearly summer visit from Los Angeles,
Or at least that was the case until COVID came along. Alas, the State Fair was among the activities which that nasty little virus put the kibosh on back in the summer of 2020, and somehow it took my mate Tom and I three years to get ourselves back.
But this year we finally got ourselves back, and how sweet it was, even more so because this was the year that the sun, moon, stars, and everyone's schedules finally aligned such that the Fair coincided with my daughter's family's yearly summer visit from Los Angeles,
...which meant that this was the year that my dream of someday taking my granddaughters to the Ohio State Fair would finally come true.
They arrived on Friday, August 4, and the following day we went to the Fair. The Californians still operating on West Coast time, we left the house around noon, which, in fairness, was still only 9am in Los Angeles.
This being the final weekend and second last day of the State Fair, I expected that everyone who was intending to go to the Fair would have already gone and that the crowds would be down. Au contraire. Of all our years of Fair-going, this day was the most crowded Tom and I had ever experienced.
After scrounging around the vast parking lot for a space, we joined the parade of afternoon arrivers headed, like ourselves, from the far end of the parking lot to the entrance gate.
They arrived on Friday, August 4, and the following day we went to the Fair. The Californians still operating on West Coast time, we left the house around noon, which, in fairness, was still only 9am in Los Angeles.
This being the final weekend and second last day of the State Fair, I expected that everyone who was intending to go to the Fair would have already gone and that the crowds would be down. Au contraire. Of all our years of Fair-going, this day was the most crowded Tom and I had ever experienced.
After scrounging around the vast parking lot for a space, we joined the parade of afternoon arrivers headed, like ourselves, from the far end of the parking lot to the entrance gate.
The lines at the entrance gate, massive as they were, moved quickly,
And soon we were in the fairgrounds snapping our first selfie of the day.
And so we spent the day doing the things and seeing the sights, me savoring the experience of introducing our granddaughters and native Los Angelino son-in-law to the delights of the Ohio State Fair.
There was the hands-on Physics lab, run by members of the the Ohio State Physics department,
In the arts and crafts building we looked at the table setting (called tablescaping) displays,
...Christmas tree entries,
...sewing, quilting, and crochet,
...the youth art entries,
...from artists elementary school age,
...through high school, some quite original and imaginative,
...the miniatures,
...and my perennial favorite of all the Fair exhibits, the cakes.
We visited the agricultural exhibit building,
...where we saw a mama pig and her 3-day-old babies,
...and outside of which we ran into Theresa and Mayren, who were also having a fine time.
This was also Mayren's first visit to the Ohio State Fair.
We visited the small animals, the chicks and ducks, and geese,
…and bunnies,
…and the sheep, including the ones covered up to keep their wool clean,
…that I nicknamed the Ku Klux Lambs.
And, of course, we visited the Dairy exhibit to pay a visit to the butter cow and calf and the rest of the figures of famous Ohioans sculpted from 2,000 pounds of Ohio butter,
…and to have a scoop of delicious ice cream from the Velvet ice creamery located in nearby Utica, Ohio.
And then there was the fun of just strolling the midway,
...where one is likely to find entertainment of all kinds,
…and where the famously - and sometimes creatively - unhealthy Fair fare is a show in and of itself,
…at times begging the question, “Does anybody actually eat this &#%$?”
But as we made our way among the dense crowd of our fellow Fair-goers, I was hit with another thing I love about the Ohio State Fair, perhaps the thing I love most: the diversity of the people here,
…a testament to a commonality that binds us all together, whatever our race, politics, creed, or ethnicity:
We all love the Fair
We all love the Fair
"HAIL MARY" IS NOW AVAILABLE ON AUDIOBOOK
CALLING ALL ELECTION DENIERS
Think the election was stolen? Think your candidate lost because the election was rigged? Think there's partisan shenanigans that go on at the polls on election day that cheated your guy out of his rightful win?
If you are of the above persuasion, then I extend to you this invitation: When the next election rolls around, volunteer to work the polls.
Attend the three-to-four hour training session to find out exactly what it is that poll workers, aka election officials, do - and what they couldn't possibly do even if they wanted to - on election day.
Let your eyes be opened to the layers of security checks that are built into our elections and which you as an election official will be carrying out alongside your fellow election officials under the watchful eyes of location managers and deputy location managers.
Learn about the list of any and all possible mistakes, missteps, corrections, or changes imaginable - or even unimaginable - that might need to be dealt with when a voter is signing in, is at the voting machine or ballot counting machine, or is casting a paper or provisional ballot. Learn also how every possible issue on every aspect of the voting process that might arise on election day is handled and adjudicated and recorded by a bipartisan team of election officials and managers.
Study the election officials' training manual, with anywhere from thirty to fifty pages of instructions depending on the job one will be doing at the polls on election day.
If you are of the above persuasion, then I extend to you this invitation: When the next election rolls around, volunteer to work the polls.
Attend the three-to-four hour training session to find out exactly what it is that poll workers, aka election officials, do - and what they couldn't possibly do even if they wanted to - on election day.
Let your eyes be opened to the layers of security checks that are built into our elections and which you as an election official will be carrying out alongside your fellow election officials under the watchful eyes of location managers and deputy location managers.
Learn about the list of any and all possible mistakes, missteps, corrections, or changes imaginable - or even unimaginable - that might need to be dealt with when a voter is signing in, is at the voting machine or ballot counting machine, or is casting a paper or provisional ballot. Learn also how every possible issue on every aspect of the voting process that might arise on election day is handled and adjudicated and recorded by a bipartisan team of election officials and managers.
Study the election officials' training manual, with anywhere from thirty to fifty pages of instructions depending on the job one will be doing at the polls on election day.
Be part of the team - as I was - of machine judges who, the night before the election, are sworn in along with the roster judges and paper ballot judges, to faithfully and honestly discharge our duties as election officials. Then be one of the cadre of workers who snip off with a pair of wire cutters the blue security lock tie seals from each ballot marking and ballot counting machine, deposit the seals in a dedicated bag, then record in the official location workbook the number on each seal and each machine.
On election day, work side-by-side with your fellow citizens for your fellow citizens, doing your part to make sure that everyone who enters your polling site is able to freely and confidently exercise their right to vote. See for yourself how the ballot-counting machines scan and count each vote, and how throughout the day tallies are taken of the number of voters to be reconciled with the number of votes cast.
And at the end of the day likewise watch for yourself how carefully the machine votes are tallied, how every single paper ballot is accounted for and sealed in a secure box to be delivered to the board of elections. See how every name in the voter signature poll books is counted and re-counted before the books are closed, sealed with a tamper-proof seal and turned in to the location manager before the election workers can go home.
Just this morning I was talking to my son Tommy, a veteran machine judge - and computer systems analyst - on the subject of this post.
And at the end of the day likewise watch for yourself how carefully the machine votes are tallied, how every single paper ballot is accounted for and sealed in a secure box to be delivered to the board of elections. See how every name in the voter signature poll books is counted and re-counted before the books are closed, sealed with a tamper-proof seal and turned in to the location manager before the election workers can go home.
Just this morning I was talking to my son Tommy, a veteran machine judge - and computer systems analyst - on the subject of this post.
What he had to say on the subject was so to the point that I decided to include his input, as well:
"Until you've worked the polls you can have no concept of what it would actually take to steal an election. You can't just pull a lever. Everything is logged, everything is transparent, there are so many people involved every step of the way. Someone once snipped the wrong security tie seal at the wrong time and we had to immediately report it in the error log, write down the numbers of the damaged tie and the replacement tie, have the whole incident documented and signed. That's how it works."
And so I reiterate this challenge to every election denier, every "stop the steal"-er, every non-truster of the election day process: Sign up to be a poll-working election official. Be a part of the meticulous, and meticulously secure election day process in this country. See for yourself how it works. You’ll be amazed. And, hopefully, enlightened.
"Until you've worked the polls you can have no concept of what it would actually take to steal an election. You can't just pull a lever. Everything is logged, everything is transparent, there are so many people involved every step of the way. Someone once snipped the wrong security tie seal at the wrong time and we had to immediately report it in the error log, write down the numbers of the damaged tie and the replacement tie, have the whole incident documented and signed. That's how it works."
And so I reiterate this challenge to every election denier, every "stop the steal"-er, every non-truster of the election day process: Sign up to be a poll-working election official. Be a part of the meticulous, and meticulously secure election day process in this country. See for yourself how it works. You’ll be amazed. And, hopefully, enlightened.
"Hail Mary" is now available on Audiobook
I, MACHINE JUDGE
Although two of my children, Tommy and Theresa, are veteran election day poll workers,
...and although I've always been proud of them for their good citizenship, it was never on my own radar to volunteer at the polls.
That is, until a few weeks ago.
As most of the rest of the country by now knows, the day before yesterday, August 8, a critically important special election was held in Ohio on Issue 1, a proposed amendment to the Ohio state constitution put on the ballot by the Republican majority Ohio legislature. (See post from 7/12/2023, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/ohioans-need-to-know-about-issue-1-and-so-does-the-rest-of-the-country).
In short, Issue 1 was favored by the pro-life coalition; those in support of abortion rights were against it. As was I.
That is, until a few weeks ago.
As most of the rest of the country by now knows, the day before yesterday, August 8, a critically important special election was held in Ohio on Issue 1, a proposed amendment to the Ohio state constitution put on the ballot by the Republican majority Ohio legislature. (See post from 7/12/2023, https://www.ailantha.com/blog/ohioans-need-to-know-about-issue-1-and-so-does-the-rest-of-the-country).
In short, Issue 1 was favored by the pro-life coalition; those in support of abortion rights were against it. As was I.
By the middle of July, with only a few weeks left until the special election, there was a growing momentum among Ohioans, who were showing up in droves at the county boards of election to vote early.
But with predictions of a potential tsunami of voters likewise hitting the polls on election day, there was a shortage of people signed up to be poll workers. A call went out for election day volunteers. I decided to answer the call .
I learned that there were three positions a Precinct Election Officer, or PEO, as the poll workers were called, could hold.
There are the roster judges, who sit at a long table and sign in the voters and hand them their Authority to Vote slips and ballots. The provisional judges sit at another table and take care of any provisional ballots. I opted for the third position, that of machine judge. I liked the sound of it: Machine Judge. It made me think of the Terminator.
I learned that there were three positions a Precinct Election Officer, or PEO, as the poll workers were called, could hold.
There are the roster judges, who sit at a long table and sign in the voters and hand them their Authority to Vote slips and ballots. The provisional judges sit at another table and take care of any provisional ballots. I opted for the third position, that of machine judge. I liked the sound of it: Machine Judge. It made me think of the Terminator.
Anyway, I was required to attend a three-hour training class at the Franklin Country board of Elections,
...where I and my fellow PEO's learned that as machine judges we would be required to set up the voting machines and ballot counting machines the night before the election and take them down after the election and take care of all the security paperwork involved. On election day we would lead the voters to the voting machines and collect from them their Authority to Vote slips and the ballots they were given by the roster judges. We'd insert the ballots into the voting machines and press the box that matched the precinct on their Authority to Vote slips.
After each voter voted we'd direct them to the ballot counting machines, also manned or womaned by a machine judge, who would instruct the voters how to insert their ballot into the ballot counting machine.
Then we'd give them their sticker.
In truth, I left the class feeling more than a weence overwhelmed and not a little anxious about remembering everything I'd be required to do in fulfilling my duty as a machine judge on election day. I was gripped with a fear of messing up.
However when I arrived at my assigned voting site the night before election day - happily, I was assigned to the polling location at the auditorium of Peace Lutheran Church in Gahanna, two blocks from my house,
However when I arrived at my assigned voting site the night before election day - happily, I was assigned to the polling location at the auditorium of Peace Lutheran Church in Gahanna, two blocks from my house,
...I met a friendly, jovial crew of mostly veteran PEO's who were happy to help a novice like me and show me the modus operandi of setting up the machines. One nice fellow machine judge even walked me though a rehearsal of what I was most concerned about, setting up the voters at the voting machines.
The following day, August 8, election day, I walked from my house and arrived at Peace Lutheran at 5:30am to join my fellow Precinct Election Officials - roster judges, provisional judges, and machine judges - for the final set up. We ended up with a little time to spare before the polls would open at 6:30 am. Though we didn't realize it, this bit of time was to be for us the calm before the coming 13-hour storm.
A few minutes before opening one of the PEO's stepped into the lobby outside the auditorium and took a look through the glass front doors. "You won't believe it," they came back and excitedly reported, "there's a real crowd out there!"
But we did believe it when the doors opened at 6:30 and several dozen people massed into the room, followed by a steady stream that kept the lines at the roster table long, almost to the door, almost all day long.
There was no let-up for the seven or eight roster judge who sat at their tables signing in people, and we seven machine judges were in constant motion taking people to the voting machines and ballot counting machines, with never more than a few seconds break, if that, between voters. After my first few voters I had my spiel down pat:
"Hi, come on over, I'll get you set up." (I take their ballot and Authority to Vote slip, then insert their ballot into the machine). "Let's check to verify your precinct. Yep, that's right, see?" (They agree). I press the "Accept" box then step a little aside). "Now you're all ready to vote. Just follow the instructions, you'll have the chance to go back and review your vote if you'd like. When you're satisfied with your selection, then press 'Print Ballot.' Your printed ballot will be returned to you. Take a moment to check your ballot, then bring it over there to the ballot counter machine, and see that nice guy? He'll show you how to insert your ballot into the machine. Any questions? If you have any questions just give a holler."
I said that hundreds of times. All the Machine Judges did.
And so the day went on. I was impressed with how friendly, welcoming, upbeat and patient all the PEO's were all day long, from opening to closing. And I was impressed with how friendly and nice and patient all the voters were, in spite of the long lines to sign in at the roster table.
For a few hours I switched out working the voting machines to working the ballot counting machines, which, I thought, was the cushiest gig in the place, and the most fun. All you had to do was direct the people to feed their ballots into the slot then give them their "I voted" stickers. But I noticed that each of the machine judges, when it was their turn to work the ballot counters, had a way of hamming it up a little.
As for me, I liked to make an event out of the picture of a flag that popped up on the machine screen a few moments after each ballot was successfully scanned and counted.
The following day, August 8, election day, I walked from my house and arrived at Peace Lutheran at 5:30am to join my fellow Precinct Election Officials - roster judges, provisional judges, and machine judges - for the final set up. We ended up with a little time to spare before the polls would open at 6:30 am. Though we didn't realize it, this bit of time was to be for us the calm before the coming 13-hour storm.
A few minutes before opening one of the PEO's stepped into the lobby outside the auditorium and took a look through the glass front doors. "You won't believe it," they came back and excitedly reported, "there's a real crowd out there!"
But we did believe it when the doors opened at 6:30 and several dozen people massed into the room, followed by a steady stream that kept the lines at the roster table long, almost to the door, almost all day long.
There was no let-up for the seven or eight roster judge who sat at their tables signing in people, and we seven machine judges were in constant motion taking people to the voting machines and ballot counting machines, with never more than a few seconds break, if that, between voters. After my first few voters I had my spiel down pat:
"Hi, come on over, I'll get you set up." (I take their ballot and Authority to Vote slip, then insert their ballot into the machine). "Let's check to verify your precinct. Yep, that's right, see?" (They agree). I press the "Accept" box then step a little aside). "Now you're all ready to vote. Just follow the instructions, you'll have the chance to go back and review your vote if you'd like. When you're satisfied with your selection, then press 'Print Ballot.' Your printed ballot will be returned to you. Take a moment to check your ballot, then bring it over there to the ballot counter machine, and see that nice guy? He'll show you how to insert your ballot into the machine. Any questions? If you have any questions just give a holler."
I said that hundreds of times. All the Machine Judges did.
And so the day went on. I was impressed with how friendly, welcoming, upbeat and patient all the PEO's were all day long, from opening to closing. And I was impressed with how friendly and nice and patient all the voters were, in spite of the long lines to sign in at the roster table.
For a few hours I switched out working the voting machines to working the ballot counting machines, which, I thought, was the cushiest gig in the place, and the most fun. All you had to do was direct the people to feed their ballots into the slot then give them their "I voted" stickers. But I noticed that each of the machine judges, when it was their turn to work the ballot counters, had a way of hamming it up a little.
As for me, I liked to make an event out of the picture of a flag that popped up on the machine screen a few moments after each ballot was successfully scanned and counted.
I especially enjoyed fussing over the children who'd accompanied their parents to the polls. After their parents had inserted their ballots I'd say to the children, "Now you have a job to do. Watch and see if the flag pops up, if it pops up then we're good...watch for it...watch for it..." They'd watch, their little faces wide-eyed with expectation. "...Ah! There it is! The vote is counted! Good job watching!" At that point the children would invariably burst into a smile, and I'd give each a sticker for their good watching work. For me that was the most fun of the day.
I was also rather amazed at how smoothly the day went, at the constant sea of people rolling in and out, and how the process ticked along like clockwork.
One time while I was working the ballot counter I noticed a person standing away from the ballot counter holding onto their ballot. They looked troubled. When I waved them over they hesitantly approached then meekly told me that they had accidentally pushed the wrong box and voted wrong. There was no way of fixing it, was there?
I assured them that yes, if they voted wrong they could fix it! I called the voting location manager over and he got them sorted out and their vote cast as they wanted it. For me that was the most satisfying moment of the day.
By the last half hour the voters were down to a trickle, but trickle in they did up until a few moments before 7:30pm, when we officially closed our polling site, along with all the other polling sites across Ohio.
We spent one more hour tallying the votes and taking down the machines. We learned that almost 1900 people had voted at our location alone. Across the state over 3,000,000 Ohioans voted on this day. By the time we'd finished closing up and taking down the machines some news outlets were already calling the race. Within a few hours the final results were in.
I was also rather amazed at how smoothly the day went, at the constant sea of people rolling in and out, and how the process ticked along like clockwork.
One time while I was working the ballot counter I noticed a person standing away from the ballot counter holding onto their ballot. They looked troubled. When I waved them over they hesitantly approached then meekly told me that they had accidentally pushed the wrong box and voted wrong. There was no way of fixing it, was there?
I assured them that yes, if they voted wrong they could fix it! I called the voting location manager over and he got them sorted out and their vote cast as they wanted it. For me that was the most satisfying moment of the day.
By the last half hour the voters were down to a trickle, but trickle in they did up until a few moments before 7:30pm, when we officially closed our polling site, along with all the other polling sites across Ohio.
We spent one more hour tallying the votes and taking down the machines. We learned that almost 1900 people had voted at our location alone. Across the state over 3,000,000 Ohioans voted on this day. By the time we'd finished closing up and taking down the machines some news outlets were already calling the race. Within a few hours the final results were in.
And I was one happy machine judge.
"Equal And Opposite Reactions"
by Patti Liszkay
Buy it on Amazon:
http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa
or from
The Book Loft
of German Village,
Columbus, Ohio
by Patti Liszkay
Buy it on Amazon:
http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa
or from
The Book Loft
of German Village,
Columbus, Ohio
Or check it out at the Columbus Metropolitan Library
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I am a traveler just visiting this planet and reporting various and sundry observations,
hopefully of interest to my fellow travelers.
hopefully of interest to my fellow travelers.