Ailantha - Blog

Chris and Simi's Wedding, Part 1: The Rehearsal Dinner

6/24/2018

"Equal and Opposite Reactions is a rollicking good yarn about complex relationships and emotions in middle-class American culture. The author has created an incredibly funny romantic comedy, which transcends the ubiquitous romantic triangle and expands it into a quadrangle, complicated by the interweaving of relationships between the children of the principal characters. Cleverly plotted, twists and turns, and exceptionally well written, this part drama and part slapstick comedy is a tour-de-force. Bravo Patti."
- R. Bruce Logan, "The Narrative Arc"

"Equal and Opposite Reactions"
By Patti Liszkay
Buy it on Amazon
http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa

Chris and Simi's Wedding, Part 1: The Rehearsal Dinner

...Continued from yesterday:

Though the the wedding celebration of my nephew Chris and his bride-to-be Simi had been going on for several days,

Chris and Simi at the Mehendi ceremony a few days before the wedding (see post from 6/21/2018)

...Tom, Tommy, Emily, Callie, Theresa and I joined in the festivities at the rehearsal dinner on Friday evening.
On Friday afternoon we met up in the hotel lobby with a number of relatives who'd traveled from near and far to Philadelphia for the wedding,

...including Claire and Miguel (see yesterday's post),

...and my sister Romaine who flew in from Portland.

The rehearsal dinner was held at Pietro's Coal Oven Pizzeria on Walnut Street, just a few blocks from our hotel (see yesterday's post),

...so we walked,

...enjoying the downtown Philadelphia scenery along the way.

...until we reached our destination,

...where there were more happy reunions,

...amidst the general joy.

Chris and Simi

Theresa and my brother Jimmy, parents of the groom

Kashmira and Jay, parents of the bride

The bride-to-be and her girls

Me with three of my four siblings

The food, prepared by the chef, right, and her assistants,

...was out-of-this-world and just kept coming all night long,

...from the appeti-zers,

..to the salads, which I forgot to snap, but there was a whole table full of them - here's the tomato and mozzarella in balsamic vinaigrette:

...to the entrees,

...to the desserts.

There were lovely, heartfelt speeches full of good wishes for Simi and Chris,

...by the father of the groom,

...sisters of the bride,

...and good friend of the groom.

It was a beautiful night.

At the end of the evening we walked back to our hotel.

The best was yet to come.

Ben Franklin atop City Hall.

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Seeing The South Philly Sights

6/23/2018

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"Equal and Opposite Reactions"
By Patti Liszkay
Buy it on Amazon
http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa

Seeing The South Philly Sights

...Continued from 6/21/2018:
Friday morning started out for us with a bevy of logistical issues to resolve.

We had to be out of our Airbnb in South Philadelphia by 11 am,

...but check-in at our wedding hotel, the Courtyard by Marriott about a mile away in in Center City (as Philadelphians refer to downtown), wasn't until 4 pm,

...and our cars were parked several blocks away in the SP+ garage at South and 11th (see post from 6/21/2018),

As the valet parking at our downtown hotel cost $55 a day while the parking at the SP+ was only $20 a day, we wanted to leave our cars at the South Philadelphia garage for the weekend.

However, we had too much junk to schlepp across town on foot from the Airbnb to the hotel.

Anyway, we sorted it all out by coming up with a plan to walk back to the garage, pick up the cars, drive them back to the Airbnb, load our stuff, drive to our hotel, leave our luggage at the desk until check-in time, drive the cars back to the parking garage, then go kick around town for the day on foot.
But first breakfast.

The waitress at Santucci's, the pizzaria where we'd had dinner the evening before (see post form 6/21/2018),

...told us that a good place for breakfast was Sam's Morning Glory, down the block on 10th Street.

So we set off for Sam's Morning Glory.

Sam's was all decked out in Pride,

...and political commentary,
outside,

...and inside.

A waiter.

The food was really good,

...and the ketchup arrived in glass bottles.

The place was crowded at 9 am on this Friday morning,

...and among the crowd of customers was a lively, happy, friendly group of youngsters throwing a Bachelor Breakfast,

...for their friend who was getting married that day.

After breakfast we began the long haul of packing and gathering our stuff, retrieving the cars, loading the cars,

...driving over to Center City to our hotel,

...which was on Juniper and Market Streets, right next to beautiful City Hall.

And so after dropping off our luggage at the hotel with Callie and Theresa who saw to its proper disposition there, the rest of us drove back to South Philly to the SP+ garage where we re-parked the cars,

...and from there headed our separate ways for the day.

Emily and Tommy walked back to Center City where they planned to meet Claire and Miguel, who'd soon be arriving from Chicago, to find a sports bar in which to watch the World Cup together,

...and Callie and Theresa wanted to stay in Center City to check out the Reading Terminal market,

...then walk to Chinatown,

...which they did, and where they had Shabu Shabu - a sort of Chinese/Japanese fondu/make-your-own-soup dish - for lunch,

...and rolled ice cream, apparently a Chinatown specialty, for dessert.

Tom and I decided to spend the day seeing the sights in South Philly.
We stared by visiting The Magic Gardens,

...a sculpture environment created over a period of of 30 years by South Philadelphia artist Isaiah Zagar,

...who used glass, ceramic, and a variety of found materials to create mosaics, sculptures, and art pieces in a 3,000 square-foot-area.

The place is quite amazing.

...and wonderful.

Isaiah Zagar has also turned a number of walls all around South Philadelphia into works of art with his ceramic murals.

After our visit to the Magic Gardens Tom and I headed over to 9th Street,

...then south to the Italian Market, an open-air market along 9th Street known for its groceries, bakeries, butchers, eateries, and all venues dealing in fresh, delicious Italian food.

We stopped for lunch at Lorenzo's, a crowded little place,

...that claimed to have the best cheese steaks in Philly.

..a claim which, after trying one, we had no grounds to dispute.

"With or without?" the cook asked us after we'd ordered our steaks.

I still retained enough of my Philly roots to know he was asking whether or not we wanted onions on our cheese steaks. We opted for "with."

Awesomely delicious as our cheese steaks were, we were glad we'd split one along with one order of fries,

...especially as this left us enough room to head back over to the Big Gay Ice Cream shop (see post from 6/21/2018),

...to join the throngs already there for their afternoon ice cream fix.

We then strolled around South Philly for a while longer,

...before heading back to Center City,

...and checking into the Downtown Courtyard by Marriott,

...and our room on the fourth floor,

...where we rested up for a while before the evening's festivities.

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Melania's Inner Adolescent

6/22/2018

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     There's been much speculation about why in the world First Lady Melania Trump would set out on a mission to help the suffering migrant children and their parents wearing a jacket painted on the back with the sloppy/chic graffiti message I DON'T REALLY CARE, DO YOU?
       What's the message? Was there any message? Who was she talking to? The migrants? The press? Her hubby? The fashion world? The whole world? Will Melania ever tell us?
       The answers to those questions we may never know, as Melania, after whipping up our attention with her jacket, won't tell us, preferring to keep us whipped up.
       But here's one thing we do know for sure:
       At 48, Melania Trump is too darned old to be wearing a coat that shouts to the world I DON'T REALLY CARE, DO YOU?
       Never even mind that she's First Lady of the United States and a mom; no mature middle-aged adult goes around sporting a sulky, adolescently in-your-face, mad-at-the-world coat like that in public.
     That coat is something a rebellious 15-year-old who pierces her nose, shaves half her hair and dyes the other half blue slips on before she goes out vaping with her friends. It's not something her mom wears. It's not something anybody's mom wears.
      Because most moms, most grown-ups in fact, no matter how frustrated, unappreciated, tired-out, at the end of their ropes and sick of it all they might feel, would never in a million years don a coat with I DON'T REALLY CARE, DO YOU? painted on the back.
      I mean, what kid wouldn't die a thousand deaths if their mom grabbed their I REALLY DON'T CARE coat and wore it to the mall?

Or on a plane?

     In any case, grown-ups generally aren't so blatantly, cluelessly all about themselves and needy of drawing attention to themselves in that way. We have too many responsibilities in our lives, too many people and situations dependent upon us to take on that kind of resentful adolescent attitude. Nor do most of us really want or need to. It's something a person eventually outgrows. Hopefully.
      Mayhaps not Mrs. Trump.
     "Melania, why did you wear that coat?" everybody in the world asks. But Melania won't talk to us. She wants us to just keep following her around and asking her and asking her and asking her what she means by that, but she's not talking to us. She's mad at us and wants us to know it and won't tell us why so that we'll keep on following her around and asking her what's going on, what's wrong.

Ever been in that situation with a 13-year-old?

      So Melania, my advice to you is, whoever or whatever it is that's bugging you, suck it up. Be a grown-up. You're a mom and First Lady of the United States. Try to do some good without being sulky or wearing a whiny coat.
     In fact, give the coat to Barron. He's twelve, it's okay for him to wear if he wants.
    You're 48. On you it's just childish. At best.

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Good-Bye Columbus, Hello South Philly

6/21/2018

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    "Equal and Opposite Reactions"
               By Patti Liszkay
           Buy it on Amazon
      http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa

"It's Hallmark meets the Sopranos in this fun and engaging read."
"Lots of sass, drama and wicked humor."
"The characters were hilariously and perfectly flawed."
"Cleverly plotted and exceptionally well written... part drama and part slapstick comedy."
"Funny and thought provoking and entertaining!"
"A rollicking good yarn."
-Amazon reviews

Good-Bye Columbus, Hello South Philly

Last Thursday, June 14, Tom, Tommy, Emily, Callie, Theresa and I,

Drove from Columbus to Philadelphia,

...for the weddings of my nephew Chris and his bride Simi.

Weddings, because, Simi being a Hindu and Chris a Christian, they wished to have two ceremonies in honor of their two cultural and religious heritages.
And two beautiful ceremonies they were.

Though the families of the bride and groom had been celebrating with parties and events since Tuesday,

...including the Mehendi celebration, during which the bride's hands and feet are painted with henna in beautiful, intricate designs.

...we the Ohio branch of the family planned on joining the festivities starting with the rehearsal dinner on Friday night.
For Thursday night, however, I'd booked us an Airbnb in South Philadelphia,

...on the other side of China-town,

...off 10th Street several blocks south of South Street

...at 1010 Salter Street,

...Salter Street being a tiny little alley of a street, barely wide enough to accommodate our Ford Flex. I won't go into the agita suffered by Tom as he tired to maneuver our car down the street without taking out any steps or flower pots.

That being said, it was a lovely little street.

Just not really wide enough for a Ford Flex.

(N.B.: If anyone ever opts to stay at the Airbnb on 1010 Salter Street, no matter what Mapquest tells you, DO NOT attempt to make a right to turn onto Salter Street from 10th Street. Rather, make a right onto Christian Street then a quick left onto South Adler Street, which dead ends at 1010 Salter Street. Then after you've unpacked your stuff, make a U-turn and exit back out onto Christian Street,

... and go find the SP+ parking garage at South and 11th,

...then walk the several blocks back to the Airbnb.

Trust me, there
is no other way).

Anyway, our Airbnb turned out to be a super-cute, if slightly curious, little place,

...the front door opening into a kitchen,

...and a four-story spiral staircase.

On the bottom floor was a bedroom with a double bed,

...first floor was the kitch-en,

...on the second floor there was a sitting room with a sofa-loveseat and a single-bed blow-up mattress in the closet,

...and a bathroom,

...and at the top of the staircase to third floor,

...a second double-bed bedroom.

Now, this Airbnb advertised that it slept six people. To me that means six bed spaces, not four bed spaces, one sofa-loveseat and a blow-up mattress. Hence I felt the ad had been a weence misleading. However happy campers Theresa and Callie said they'd take the couch room, so it was all good.
Other than that, the place was pretty, spotlessly clean, and in a great location in the heart of South Philly.

View from the third floor.

After we'd settled our cars in the SP+ garage - Tommy and Emily drove in one car, the rest of us in the Flex - and our stuff in the Airbnb, we set off in search of some nourishment,

...walking along skinny Salter Street,

...then through the neighborhood,

...until we found a cute little pizzeria called Santucci's

...known for its square pizza with the cheese on the bottom and the sauce on top.

We ordered pizzas with veggie top-pings,

...and one with just cheese.

The pizzas were great.

After dinner the guys wanted to return to the Airbnb while the girls had a hankering for ice cream.
Callie, Theresa and I walked down South Street, and close to the corner of South and Broad,

...we found Big Gay Ice Cream.

...which was pretty crowded for it being close to 10 pm on a Thursday night.

However it was a really cute place,

...and the ice cream was quite yummy,

Fortified by our Big Gay ice creams, we were ready to head back down South Street,

...then up the spiral staircase.

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But What About The Children Already Taken?

6/20/2018

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After insisting for weeks that his hands were tied to end the directive he himself authorized and blaming the Democrats for his own cruel policy of separating migrant children from their parents, today Donald Trump finally signed an executive order ending that policy, at least temporarily.
But Trump's executive order doesn't apply to the children already taken,

...the ones we've been seeing in the heart-wrenching photos,

...and who we've heard crying inconsolably for their parents on a recording smuggled from a detention center.

   These children and their parents, the very ones whose plight has united our country in horror and rage, the ones all the pressure on Donald Trump was intended to save, will not be saved by Trump's act today.
      Nothing will change for them because the order Donald Trump signed today applies only to migrant families crossing the border in the future, and not to those who've already been separated.
     According to an article published earlier today by the New York Times:
   The president’s order does nothing to address the plight of the more than 2,300 children who have already been separated from their parents under the president’s “zero tolerance” policy. Federal officials said those children will not be immediately reunited with their families while the adults remain in federal custody during their immigration proceedings.
“There will not be a grandfathering of existing cases,” said Kenneth Wolfe, a spokesman for the Administration for Children and Families, a division of the Department of Health and Human Services. Mr. Wolfe said the decision about the children was made by the White House, but he added, “I can tell you definitively that is going to be policy.” (1)
     "We're gonna have a lot of happy people," Trump smugly boasted this afternoon as he signed his practically useless piece of paper,

...his two consiglieres at his side.

So who, I'd like to know, are all these people Donald Trump thinks will be so happy?
Not the over 2,300 children still separated from their parents;

...not the babies in pens still crying for their mothers,

...not the migrant mothers in detention recently visited by Representative Pramila Jayapal who were told by officials that "they needed to briefly leave their children to be photographed or see a judge, only to return and find the children had been taken away...They were forced to leave their children in this room, and then when they came back, the children were gone, and not a single one of them was able to say goodbye.” (2)
And surely not the parents who've already been deported with their young children left behind in American detention centers.
I ask again, who are all these happy people?

And what about the children already taken?

I can't shake the feeling that God's going to punish us for this.

References
(1) nytimes.com/2018/06/20/us/politics/trump-immigration-children-executive-order.html

(2) https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/15/us/politics/trump-immigration-separation-border.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/17/us/immigration-deported-parents.html

https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-order-address-separations-no-clear-answers-happens-children-shelters-now-214127748.html

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Space Force?

6/18/2018

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Our country is in the grip of a horrible and urgent humanitarian crisis,

...as terrified young children are being taken from their parents at our southern borders and put into detention centers with appalling conditions,

...where they scream in fear, and cry inconsolably for their mothers and fathers.

With the entire country on fire fueled by outrage and protest and demanding that our leaders do something immediately to end this barbaric cruelty,

...this afternoon President Donald Trump stood before the people of the United States and called for the immediate...

...creation of a Space Force.

   That's right, a Space Force. You know, like the Air Force. Only in space. Because what our country needs right now, immediately, is a new branch of the military. Because, "Space is a war-fighting domain, just like the land, air, and sea." Donald Trump actually said that today.
     He also said, "Our destiny beyond the Earth is not only a matter of national identity but a matter of national security," and, "When it comes to defending America, it is not enough to merely have an American presence in space. We must have American dominance in space."
        I'm not kidding. He really said all that.

Look, here he is this afternoon looking pleased as punch after after signing his Executive order for the IMMEDIATE establishment of the United States Space Force.

Since having a Space Force is the most pressing problem in our country at the moment.

   However, there's one little thorn in the rose of which neither Donald Trump nor his advisors in their wisdom seem to be aware: Having a Space Force would be against the Outer Space Treaty.
     That's right, the Outer Space Treaty.
     The Outer Space Treaty was ratified in 1967 and has been signed by over 130 countries, including Russia, China and, of course, the United States. This treaty is the basis of international space law and basically forbids the mass weaponization of space or using celestial bodies such as the Moon or planets for any purposes other than peaceful pursuits beneficial to mankind.

I learned about the existence of Outer Space Treaty from the Lieutenant Colonel,

...who is, of course far more intelligent, knowledgeable and sagacious than the toadying band of ignorant, sycophantic, self-servers Donald Trump surrounds himself with and calls advisors.

    "Well, then," said I to Tom after he'd told me about the Outer Space Treaty, "that means that Donald Trump can't have his Space Force. And a neither can anyone else because it's against international space law to conduct military maneuvers in space.."
     "True," said Tom, "but just because it's against the law doesn't mean that some bad guys might not do it anyway."
       (Sigh) Yeah. I just hope we don't end up being the bad guys.

References:
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/06/18/president-trump-directs-pentagon-defense-department-to-immediately-being-the-process-of-establishing-space-force-as-sixth-military-branch.html

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44527672

https://www.state.gov/t/isn/5181.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outer_Space_Treaty

https://www.propublica.org/article/children-separated-from-parents-border-patrol-cbp-trump-immigration-policy

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Where Is The Outrage?

6/17/2018

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     In accordance with the Trump administration’s new “zero tolerance” immigration policy, over the past six weeks almost 2,000 babies and children have been seized by U.S. Immigration agents after their families stepped over the border seeking asylum. These crying, terrified children have been taken away from their shocked, frantic, pleading parents and sent to makeshift detention facilities.
     Where is the outrage over those suffering children and their grieving parents?
    While on an investigative mission U.S. Senator Jeff Merkley spotted some of these children being held in chain-link dog pens, others being kept, day after day, on the floor of a Walmart warehouse. A pediatrician reports seeing infants and toddlers alone and crying on the floor with no adult picking them up or comforting them. Nobody's there to change their diapers. (1)
    Where is the outrage?
    Where is the national outrage over the families being torn apart, the mothers and fathers sent to Federal prisons for the crime of crossing our border and requesting asylum for themselves and their children?
     What mother who’s ever held her own child wouldn’t feel a pang in her heart for the mothers sitting in prison cells crying for their children? What mother who’s ever nursed her own baby wouldn’t be stricken by the report of the young mother whose baby was pulled by an ICE agent from her breast as she nursed? (2)
     Why aren’t we as a nation outraged,

...that these people,

... have turned our country from a beacon of hope to a theater of cruelty?
     Why aren’t we all disgusted that they use Bible verses to justify their merciless brutality to the poorest of the poor?
      Why isn’t every American heart breaking over the suffering now being inflicted on these people by our government by order of our President and, by extension, by everyone of us?
     While half of the country is outraged by this:

...and this,

…and the other half is outraged by this:

...and this,

...can't we unite in outrage over this?

...and this?

     Can’t we all look beyond the law – which was man-made and thus can be changed whenever we want – and everyone’s own personal interpretation of their respective sacred scriptures and look rather into our hearts, which, in the end, determine each person’s convictions of right and wrong, goodness and evil, justice and inhumanity?
    Because the inhumanity that has been carried out along our southern border for the past six weeks will not end if only half of our country is outraged by it. All Americans must be united in our outrage, and we must be as loud and vociferous about this as we’ve been on the other issues we stand so firmly on, the issues we believe define us as Americans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, blacks, whites, browns, or however we define ourselves.
    Which I guess, for me, begs a final question: if there exists an American out there who isn’t outraged, ashamed, and sick to the bottom of their heart and soul over the cruelty being inflicted on these children and their parents, could you please explain to me why not?

References:
(1) https://www.yahoo.com/news/hundreds-children-wait-border-patrol-facility-texas-193735082.html
(2) https://www.thedailybeast.com/migrant-claims-ice-took-her-baby-while-she-was-breastfeeding

https://www.seattletimes.com/opinion/the-stunning-cruelty-of-immigrant-family-separations/

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/07/us/children-immigration-borders-family-separation.html

https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/14/health/immigrant-family-separation-doctors/index.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/06/10/mothers-could-not-stop-crying-officials-blast-trump-policy-after-visiting-detained-immigrants/?utm_term=.15a73

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/jeff-sessions-bible-quotation-defend-separating-migrant-families/story?id=55926837

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/jun/14/sarah-sanders-bible-trump-immigration-border-policy

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A Whole New Word

6/14/2018

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     A couple of days ago while scrolling down the Yahoo News page I came across this headline:
                           "GOP Strategist: Trump 'Beclowned Himself' At G-7 Summit"
      Beclowned himself? thought I.
      I opened the article,

...which had to do with a tweet sent out by Steve Schmidt, veteran Republican political strategist who was John McCain's senior advisor,

...who, you may remember, was played by Woody Harrelson in "Game Change,"

...the made-for-TV movie about the 2008 McCain presidential campaign.
It was a great movie, actually.

Anyway, according to the article, after Donald Trump made an annoyance of himself at the G7 summit,

...alienated our allies,

...refused to sign the joint economic agreement, stormed off in a huff,

...personally insulted Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau,

...and escalated a trade war and a war of words between the United States and Canada,

(...Canada, for cryin' out loud?! It's a South Park movie come to life!),

...Steve Schmidt posted the following on Twitter:

Ah yes, thought I, I get it: by his behavior at the G7 Summit Donald Trump made a clown of himself; in other words,

...he beclowned himself!

And I thought to myself, what a wonderful word!
Can't wait to try it out sometime.

References:
https://www.yahoo.com/news/m/d4fe5127-9070-3dc8-8222-4ec5bda94a52/ss_gop-strategist%3A-trump.html

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A Fundamental Divide

6/12/2018

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Today while scrolling through my Facebook page I came across a link posted by my sweet, sunny niece-in-law Rachel,

....to an article published last year in the The Huffington Post by Emmy Award-winning video editor Kayla Chadwick,

...entitled, "I Don’t Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People."
     As I read through the article I found myself thinking, Yes..yes..yes...YES! That's it! That's how I feel, too!
     And so, on the chance that there may be quite a few more out there like myself and Rachel who hold in their hearts the same conviction as Ms. Chadwick but had not the words to clearly articulate this conviction, I'll share her words below in hopes that they'll speak to you, too.
       I Don’t Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People
                                                  By Kayla Chadwick

     Like many Americans, I’m having politics fatigue. Or, to be more specific, arguing-about-politics fatigue.
     I haven’t run out of salient points or evidence for my political perspective, but there is a particular stumbling block I keep running into when trying to reach across the proverbial aisle and have those “difficult conversations” so smugly suggested by think piece after think piece:
     I don’t know how to explain to someone why they should care about other people.
Personally, I’m happy to pay an extra 4.3 percent for my fast food burger if it means the person making it for me can afford to feed their own family. If you aren’t willing to fork over an extra 17 cents for a Big Mac, you’re a fundamentally different person than I am.
I’m perfectly content to pay taxes that go toward public schools, even though I’m childless and intend to stay that way, because all children deserve a quality, free education. If this seems unfair or unreasonable to you, we are never going to see eye to eye.
If I have to pay a little more with each paycheck to ensure my fellow Americans can access health care? SIGN ME UP. Poverty should not be a death sentence in the richest country in the world. If you’re okay with thousands of people dying of treatable diseases just so the wealthiest among us can hoard still more wealth, there is a divide between our worldviews that can never be bridged.
     I don’t know how to convince someone how to experience the basic human emotion of empathy. I cannot have one more conversation with someone who is content to see millions of people suffer needlessly in exchange for a tax cut that statistically they’ll never see (do you make anywhere close to the median American salary? Less? Congrats, this tax break is not for you).
    I cannot have political debates with these people. Our disagreement is not merely political, but a fundamental divide on what it means to live in a society, how to be a good person, and why any of that matters.
There are all kinds of practical, self-serving reasons to raise the minimum wage (fairly compensated workers typically do better work), fund public schools (everyone’s safer when the general public can read and use critical thinking), and make sure every American can access health care (outbreaks of preventable diseases being generally undesirable).
But if making sure your fellow citizens can afford to eat, get an education, and go to the doctor isn’t enough of a reason to fund those things, I have nothing left to say to you.
      I can’t debate someone into caring about what happens to their fellow human beings. The fact that such detached cruelty is so normalized in a certain party’s political discourse is at once infuriating and terrifying.
      The “I’ve got mine, so screw you,” attitude has been oozing from the American right wing for decades, but this gleeful exuberance in pushing legislation that will immediately hurt the most vulnerable among us is chilling.
Perhaps it was always like this. I’m (relatively) young, so maybe I’m just waking up to this unimaginable callousness. Maybe the emergence of social media has just made this heinous tendency more visible; seeing hundreds of accounts spring to the defense of policies that will almost certainly make their lives more difficult is incredible to behold.
      I don’t know what’s changed ― or indeed, if anything has ― and I don’t have any easy answers. But I do know I’m done trying to convince these hordes of selfish, cruel people to look beyond themselves.
     Futility can’t be good for my blood pressure, and the way things are going, I won’t have health insurance for long.

Reference:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/i-dont-know-how-to-explain-to-you-that-you-should_us_59519811e4b0f078efd98440

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My 2018 Commencement Speech

6/10/2018

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It's early June and though most of the commencement ceremonies are now over,

...this year's graduates continue to be celebrated with banners,

...parties,

...memories,

...many good wishes for bright and happy futures,

...and my 2018 commencement speech.
   (For anyone who might be interested, here are the links to my commencement speeches from 2015 and 2016. I believe in June of 2017 I, along with much of the country, was still at a loss for words):
https://www.ailantha.com/blog/my-second-commencement-speech

   http://www.ailantha.com/blog/my-commencement-speech

     I post my yearly commencement speech around this time of year as a benefaction to young graduates, a few words of advice that might not have been covered by the keynote speakers at their commencement ceremonies.
      So, 2018 graduates, here is my commencement speech to you:

1. When you hand a person working behind a cash register several dollar bills be sure to first flatten out the bills and proffer them with all the bills facing the same side up and the same direction. It's polite and considerate and easier for the cashier to place into the drawer.

2. You can't tell if a pineapple is ripe by its feel or color; the only way to tell if a pineapple is ripe is by sniffing the end opposite the stem end. If this end smells like pineapple then the pineapple is ripe.

This same principle holds true for determining whether a cantaloupe is ripe.

3. When you are a dinner guest always wait for your host to begin eating before you dig in. If you are the host, start eating as soon as the food is served (after you've said grace, of course) so your guests know to start eating. If you are still busy serving or must leave the table, verbally invite your guests to start eating.

4. If you are serving a buffet, always be sure to invite yours guests to start eating. Never assume that they will just dig in.

If you are a guest, wait for your host to invite you to dig in.

5. If you are talking to someone and another person comes along who you know but the person you're talking to doesn't know, don't just turn from the person you were talking to and begin talking to the new person; first introduce the two people and make sure both are included in the conversation. If you are in a group introduce the person to everyone in the group even if you only intend to talk to the new person for a minute or two. Being able to pull off this maneuver smoothly and naturally is a social skill worth cultivating.

6. Remember that the kindest words in the English language are "Me too."

...(I'm not talking about #MeToo here,

...I'm talking about empathy).

7. Remember that people are attracted to people who are comfortable in their own skins.

8. Remember that the candy bar is important, not the wrapper. I'm talking about people, actually. And candy bars, too.

9. Consider the famous quote by some unknown sage: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." You shouldn't necessarily live by those words. Just keep them in mind. And be careful what you do say. Don't say everything you're thinking. Unless it's something kind.

10. And be extra careful what you email, post or text. Never email, post or text anything that would be disastrous if it went viral. (I know you already know this, just a friendly reminder).

11. Don't hook up and don't be a friend with benefits.
Though prevalent, widespread and, I guess, socially acceptable, hooking up and FWBing are bad ideas. You can't sleep you way to love or friendship.

12. What people refer to as common sense often turns out to be nonsense. Don’t latch onto easy-sounding truths because easy truths often aren’t true. The world is seldom black or white,

...or always pink or blue.

13. No matter how much you like or dislike somebody, nobody’s all good or all bad. (Or almost nobody).

14. If you're ever feeling terribly down or depressed, try to look past the moment you're in; it's hard to do, but try. And turn to someone, get help, and remember that depression is a disease that can be treated with medication and therapy and the pain you feel is a symptom that's crying out for treatment. And remember that your life doesn't belong to you alone; it belongs to your friends, your family, your co-workers, everyone who loves and cherishes and depends upon you; your life belongs to your community and your country and this world that you were created for and placed in for the purpose of doing some good. Remember all that, no matter how badly you may be feeling at some moment in time.
15. Read a local newspaper - online is fine - and a national news source. Keep up with and care about what's going on in our nation and the world even if world events don't yet affect you. Because they will eventually.

16. Live by the wisdom of the modern-day musical philosopher Randy Rainbow: "Bigotry is never the way. Practicing hatred and discrimination in the name of whatever God you believe in doesn't make you a hero."

It just makes you these guys.

17. Reject the above guys and rather live by The Golden Rule, also known as The Law of Reciprocity, (which was, BTW, coined by Jesus in Matthew Chapter 7, Verse 12), which is the principle of treating others as you want to be treated.