MY 2023 COMMENCEMENT SPEECH
And though I can't claim any great accomplishment or celebrity, still I'll venture, as I do this time every year, to offer the class of 2023 a few words of hopefully helpful wisdom and advice of my own on subjects that might not be covered by the keynote speakers at their commencement ceremonies.
So, for all the new grads our there, here it is, my 2023 Commencement Speech:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Husk the corn.
Line a pan with aluminum foil.
Coat the aluminum foil with cooking spray
Brush each ear of corn with melted or softened butter (or margarine) and salt to taste.
Place the corn on the pan and roast for 20 minutes.
Enjoy!
2. When someone says "Thank you" to you, respond with "You're welcome." Or you could also say, "Pleasure's mine." Or "Glad to." Even "No problem" is okay, as are any number of other gracious responses:
You cannot put a fire out - a thing that can ignite,
Can go itself without a fan upon the slowest night
You cannot fold a flood and put it in your drawer
Because the winds would find it out and tell your cedar floor.
4. Don't look for the perfect job. Just doing something is always better than doing nothing.
5. Stop and think before you say something mean or harsh or snarky to another person. You may not realize how hurtful or offensive your words might be. And though you may forget or toss off what you once said to another person, that person may never forget what you said to them or the sting of your words.
6. Try a PfitB and Fruit Sandwich
7. If you accidentally say or do something wrong, just do that best you can to make it as right as you can, because that's all you can do. Half of life is conducting mop-up operations
8. Whenever you have company in your home make sure that your bathroom is sufficiently stocked with toilet paper. There's nothing worse than using someone's commode then realizing there's no TP on the roll.
10. Conversely, If you agree to do something, do it with a good attitude. Something that's done with a bad attitude tends not to turn out well.
13. I know it's been said before, but it's worth saying again: tomorrow is another day. Look past the rough times to better, brighter days ahead. They will come. I promise.
Best wishes, 2023 graduates! Go out and conquer the world!