2. Roller skate. I used to be a whiz-bang roller skater (ask my kids) but I'm afraid to try anymore because if some yahoo skater-dude ran into me and knocked me over and broke something everybody would tsk, "What was she doing roller skating at her age?"
3. Learn how to ice-skate. See above.
4. Tell dirty jokes.
5. Send inappropriate birthday cards. *
6. Stand on a chair and hang curtains. Last time I tried I fell off the chair and broke a rib. But I only got one pair of the curtains hung so now what am I supposed to do?
7. Try stand-up comedy.
8. Eat whatever I want, whenever I want and as much as I want without getting heartburn, a gall bladder attack, or caring about putting on poundage.
9. Sing "I'm So Fancy" with a karaoke machine.
10. Tell my children how to live their lives.*
*Sometimes I still do anyway.
** All About That Bass, by Meghan Trainor.