At Last Something We Can All Agree On: Kristi Noem Is A Puppy-Murdering Meanie

       Every conservative Republican I know loves dogs.  Every progressive Democrat  I know loves dogs. In fact, everybody I know loves dogs. The only person I know who doesn't love dogs is me. 
       So shoot me, I'm a cat person. 

      But even I'm horrified by the report that Kristi Noem, pistol-packin' governor of South Dakota,

...shining star in the MAGAverse, and short-lister for Trump VP pick,

...shot her 14-month-old poochie Cricket.

      Apparently when Noem took Cricket on her first hunting trip, instead of keeping to the task at hand Cricket ran all over the place, thus proving herself useless as a hunting dog. Cricket also got into the neighbor's hen house and ate some chickens,  proving herself useless as a chicken-guarding dog. And so, since Cricket couldn't hunt and liked to chase chickens,  Kristi Noem took her to a gravel pit and shot her to death. And left her there.
      Now, if this cold-blooded killing of her puppy seems pretty heartless (for a dog 14 months old is still considered a puppy. Dogs don't reach full adulthood until 24 months. I looked it up), writing about it in her upcoming autobiography was pretty stupid. Granted, Kristi Noem was likely trying to present herself as a tough outdoorswoman capable of making hard decisions. But this maneuver backfired bigly and now all the world sees her as merely an irresponsible dog owner and puppy-murdering meanie. 
       In any case, her chances of being Donald Trump's running mate just fell off a cliff. In fact her whole political career may have fallen off a cliff: even Trump disapproves of Kristi Noem shooting Cricket.
       Who ever would have thought that Donald Trump and I would be in agreement about something?
​        Stranger things, huh?