"Equal and Opposite Reactions"
By Patti Liszkay
NOW ONLY $3.99 ON AMAZON KINDLE
- R. Bruce Logan, "The Narrative Arc"
If, however, you have had the misfortune of buying the product, opening the bag, removing the contents, which look like this,
Or rather your stomach.
I was intrigued by the bag of Popcorners Flourish Harvest Kale Veggie Crisps, with chickpeas, rice & brussels sprouts.
30 crisps had only 100 calories,
... with the benefit of protein, dietary fiber and trace bits of vegetables.
I’ll steam a bag of Kroger's frozen brussels sprouts in the microwave ‘til they’re just al dente then season them with salt,
...and eat them dipped in Hellman’s Dijonnaise mustard.
Actually there’s about a minute before the sprouts pass from one state to the next.
This being the reality of brussels sprouts, I should have been suspicious of any process by which they are baked into a chip. But I wasn’t. I wanted too much to believe that there could be a healthful and delicious chip that incorporated the essence of brussels sprout at its best.
And so I bought the bag of veggie crisps and went on my way, blissfully unaware of what lay in store when I arrived home, tore open the bag and, like Eve proffering Adam the evil apple, invited Tom to join me in a Harvest Kale veggie crisp with chick peas, rice, & brussels sprouts.
We each popped a crisp, and before I had the chance to squeal "Ewwwww!" Tom was bent over the kitchen trash can spitting out his crisp. Unfortunately for me, I swallowed mine.
It tasted so bad. The offending taste was overwhelmingly that of brussels sprout. Very bad brussels sprout. I've since tried eating a variety of foods from sweet to salty to kill the lingering brussels sprout taste and yet the taste lingers still. But only when I think about it.
I don't believe I'll ever be able to eat another brussels sprout with Dijonnaise.
Later that day Tom returned the reminder of those vile crisps back to Kroger's for a refund. He impressed upon the customer service lady how terrible the crisps tasted. He stressed to her that when the remaining bags of crisps were removed from the shelf - which they doubtless will be soon, very soon - these items should NOT be donated to the local food pantry, but burned.
The customer service lady laughed.