Our hope was to find something reasonably priced, something from JC Penny's or Sears, maybe we'd even go as far up the spending ladder as Macy's. We schlepped our way from establishment to establishment to establishment finding, of course, no dress in any shade of green, save one neon green number on the clearance rack of JC Penny's that looked as though it had been designed to be worn by an 80-year-old floozy.
We hadn't planned on shopping at Von Maur's - a wee bit pricey for our typically plebeian tastes - but as we trudged despondantly past the store on our way to the mall exit there emminated from within a waft of wonderful piano music the style of which tipped me off that my friend and piano mentor Elmer Cabotage* must be at the keys.
*Elmer Cabotage, concert pianist, composer, master teacher and master of the Chopin etudes, is a gift to the planet. And a really nice guy. He plays live at Von Maur's every Wednesday from 11am-3pm and almost every Saturday from 2-5 pm. I suggest to everyone who is lucky enough to live in Columbus to go hear Elmer play some time. You can relax on the comfy couches around the piano and listen to the music. Elmer's playing is ethereal, like an ice cream sundae for your soul, ony it won't make your soul fat.

The kid in the plaid shirt, Jonathan Jurgens, went on to become a tenor with the Indianapolis opera.
We entered the store, but on our way to the piano we caught a flash of green towards which Theresa and I were pulled as if in the grip of a Vulcan mind meld.
As we approached it became clear that the enticing flash was originating from the swimsuit department, but it didn't matter; we saw green and our wills were no longer ours.
The green turned out to be coming from a row of swimsuit cover-ups. But what beautiful
swim-suit cover-ups they were! Why, they could almost pass for...bridesmaids dresses!
Now, $58 is an obnoxious price for a swim-suit cover-up, but for a bridesmaid dress?
Whoa, steal of the century!
Did we buy that $58 swim-suit cover-alias-bridesmaid dress?
Oh, Mama, you know we did!


I figured this could be the upper half of my mother-of-the bride outfit.
Theresa, however, insisted that the ensemble looked great as it was, sneakers and all!
Which got me to wondering...might it actually work?
Is there any way in the universe I could get away with wearing grey jeans and sneakers to my daughter's wedding?
I mean, how comfortable would that be?
I kept turning the question over and over in my mind for the rest of the afternoon: how would that outfit look at a wedding?
That night Tom and I were going to the Columbus Symphony, and just before we left, the light bulb went off in my head, and so:
