I Am Not A Camera. I also don't always know what I want.

    I used to have this thing for a particular kind of jelly, a Kroger brand of cherry preserves that could only be found at, well, Krogers.
    I used to love the stuff, and every day I'd have  at least a couple of slices of toast or a toasted bagel or two slathered with margarine and heaped with this Krogers cherry preserves.  Sometimes I'd have more than a couple slices.  In fact I usually would have more than a couple slices.
    And the bad thing was that nobody else in the house really liked this jelly.  Tom and I were the only jelly-eaters in the family, though Tom indulged only occasionally  and preferred grape or raspberry or strawberry, anything but cherry.  Consequently I was  going through jar after jar of Kroger cherry preserves by myself.
    Well, the day came when I could no longer eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted - that was the day I realized that I'd put on 12 pounds in two years, and the scale was only going up.
    I decided to take a stab at changing my eating habits, and a lot of yummy things didn't make the cut,  a daily mega-dose of Krogers cherry preserves being among them.  I switched out my margarine-and-jelly toast habit for grapefruit.  Which I've actually come to like over time.  A whole lot of time.
    Anyway, it had been years since I'd bought  jar of Krogers cherry preserves.
    But then last Saturday morning,  the morning of the day designated as the grand cookie-baking event (see the October 27 post to see how it turned out) for an upcoming wedding,  I realized that I'd forgotten to buy the raspberry jam that I needed for one of the kinds of cookies that I was intending to make (but ultimately failed to make, as chronicled in the October 27 post).
    So I dashed out to Krogers to pick up a jar of raspberry jam, and, after I'd found the raspberry, I guess out habit or maybe nostalgia, I found myself perusing the jelly section for my former craving.  Just to see if they still carried it.
    I looked over all the rows of jellies, jams, and preserves, but I didn't see any of the Krogers brand of cherry preserves.  Oh well, thought I, I guess Krogers just doesn't carry those cherry preserves anymore.  And why should they?  I think I was probably the only person who very bought them.
    But as I headed for the checkout with my raspberry jam in tow I found myself remembering how good those cherry preserves used to be.  Then I thought of that tasty loaf of challah I'd bough the day before at the Coffee Time cafe: 

... (see yesterday's post) and how out-of-this world a slice of it it would taste toasted and spread with butter and some of those cherry preserves.
    But, of course, I hadn't indulged in that sort of thing in years, and besides,  Krogers didn't even carry those preserves anymore.
    Or did they?  Maybe those cherry preserves were somewhere on one of the shelves  but I 'd just missed them. After all, there were dozens of jars of jelly all crowded together.
    As I walked back to the jelly section just to double-check, I decided that there really wouldn't be any harm in a couple of slices of challah and cherry preserves.  Just a couple slices.  Just to see how it tasted. Then I'd throw the rest of the cherry preserves out.  If Krogers even had any.  Which I was really starting to hope that they did.  Because, heaven help me, I was feeling that old cherry-preseve fever coming on strong.
     I looked at every jar on every shelf. 
    No Kroger cherry preserves. 
    No Kroger cherry preserves!
    I mean, they had a whole section of hoity-toit jams where you could find stuff like

        Seriously?!  They carry hot jalapeno jelly?  But no more cherry preserves?! Really!?  I should complain!
        That's what was racing through my jelly-jonesing brain as I snapped
  a photo of the deficient Krogers jelly section.     
      Then I slipped my camera back into its pouch in my purse, zipped up my purse, looked up and there it was. Right there between the Kroger peach preserves and the Smuckers Goober grape:

Five dollar-a-bottle French preserves,













mango spread,















bitter-sweet orange marmalade and Oregon pumpkin butter,










red pepper jelly, hot jalapeno pepper Jelly...

    ...where I'd already looked three times!
    How had I missed them? Had I just been looking too hard?  So worried that I wouldn't find them that I didn't?
    I pulled my camera back out of my purse and looked at the shot I'd taken of the jelly section.  I zoomed in.  Yes, right there were the cherry preserves, in the photo as truly as they'd been on the shelf.  The camera had caught what my eye had not.  I felt like a sleuth in a mystery story who finds out the truth from a blown-up detail in a photograph.
    So anyway, they'd been there all along, my old beloved Krogers cherry preserves that I could now have, spread on a thick slice of toasted buttered challah bread!
    Except that now all of a sudden I didn't want them anymore.
    The cherry preserves were right there on the Krogers shelf.   I could have them if I wanted them.      But I hadn't actually wanted them in years.  But they were still  available just in case I ever did want them.  Which I didn't now that I knew I could have them in case I ever did.
    Besides, I really liked the challah with just butter.
    Is this just me?