LOOKING FOR HOLIDAY GIFTS THEY'LL ENJOY?
"Equal and Opposite Reactions" http://amzn.to/2xvcgRa
and the sequel, "Hail Mary" https://www.amzn.com/1684334888
Available on Amazon.
and the sequel, "Hail Mary" https://www.amzn.com/1684334888
Available on Amazon.
IT GETS WORSE
...Continued from last time:
There's some pertinent information I didn't include in my previous post, which was (as this post likewise is) a continuing chronicle of my Agony in the Kitchen, aka My Kitchen Remodel from Purgatory. (I've decided it's not quite from Hell yet, but seems to be sliding further south by the day).
What I did share in my last post (https://www.ailantha.com/blog/the-agony-in-the-kitchen) was that the piece of Brown Latte quartzite countertop to replace the debacle pictured below,
There's some pertinent information I didn't include in my previous post, which was (as this post likewise is) a continuing chronicle of my Agony in the Kitchen, aka My Kitchen Remodel from Purgatory. (I've decided it's not quite from Hell yet, but seems to be sliding further south by the day).
What I did share in my last post (https://www.ailantha.com/blog/the-agony-in-the-kitchen) was that the piece of Brown Latte quartzite countertop to replace the debacle pictured below,
...couldn't be delivered last Friday, December 3, as promised because supposedly somebody in the stone company warehouse laid a backsplash against my new countertop and it (my new countertop) got wet. (Don't ask me to explain. I cannot). Hence the countertop needed a few more days to dry out again.
What I left out was that the stone company rep absolutely assured me that my replacement Brown Latte countertop would absolutely be dried out and absolutely delivered and installed on Monday. Or if not Monday, maybe Wednesday.
Now, the reason I did not share this information is because, though the stone company rep all but swore on the head of their first, second, and third borns that my new sink countertop would be delivered on Monday - or maybe Wednesday - I did not, in my heart of hearts, believe them.
Everybody reading this gets one guess whether or not my countertop was delivered yesterday - yesterday was Monday - or whether it will be delivered on Wednesday.
Correct! My new sink countertop was not delivered yesterday. And it will not be delivered on Wednesday, either.
Why, you ask? Well here's how it was explained to me: Although the countertop was perfectly dry and ready to go yesterday morning, some idiot (their word, not mine, though, you know...) for some unknown reason subjected the countertop to high heat and scorched it.
What I left out was that the stone company rep absolutely assured me that my replacement Brown Latte countertop would absolutely be dried out and absolutely delivered and installed on Monday. Or if not Monday, maybe Wednesday.
Now, the reason I did not share this information is because, though the stone company rep all but swore on the head of their first, second, and third borns that my new sink countertop would be delivered on Monday - or maybe Wednesday - I did not, in my heart of hearts, believe them.
Everybody reading this gets one guess whether or not my countertop was delivered yesterday - yesterday was Monday - or whether it will be delivered on Wednesday.
Correct! My new sink countertop was not delivered yesterday. And it will not be delivered on Wednesday, either.
Why, you ask? Well here's how it was explained to me: Although the countertop was perfectly dry and ready to go yesterday morning, some idiot (their word, not mine, though, you know...) for some unknown reason subjected the countertop to high heat and scorched it.
Now the countertop is ruined.
Upon hearing this news I didn't know whether I felt more sorry for myself or the poor repeatedly abused countertop.
I was informed that the roasted replacement countertop was the last piece of Brown Latte quartzite left from the lot from which all my kitchen countertop pieces were fabricated. If fabricators were to make a new sink countertop from a piece of Brown Latte cut from a different stone lot than was used for the rest of my countertops, then the new countertop could not be expected to match the rest of the (perfectly fine) countertops.
Upon hearing this news I didn't know whether I felt more sorry for myself or the poor repeatedly abused countertop.
I was informed that the roasted replacement countertop was the last piece of Brown Latte quartzite left from the lot from which all my kitchen countertop pieces were fabricated. If fabricators were to make a new sink countertop from a piece of Brown Latte cut from a different stone lot than was used for the rest of my countertops, then the new countertop could not be expected to match the rest of the (perfectly fine) countertops.
Hence, instead of just replacing the damaged countertop, now all the countertops in the kitchen will have to be pulled out and a new set made from a new slab of stone, either another slab of Brown Latte quartzite or some other stone of my choice.
I shall leave out the details of the conversation that ensued between myself and the stone company rep except to say that the rep had called his company's wholesaler and found out that the wholesaler had a couple of slabs of Brown Latte quartzite in stock and so the stone company rep exhorted me, if I still wanted Brown Latte for my replacement countertops, to boogie-oogie immediately to the stone wholesaler's warehouse at the other end of the county and lay claim to one of the remaining Brown Latte slabs because if the warehouse order was made by today then the stone company could absolutely have my countertops installed by next week.
And so drop everything and boogie-oogie across the county I did, because I did still want Brown Latte, I loved my Brown Latte, and I must have arrived at the wholesaler's warehouse looking as frazzled as I was feeling as several of the staff immediately came to my assistance and offered me something to drink.
Anyway, I told the kind warehouse staffers my tale of woe while they shook their heads in what I took for disbelief and sympathy. They told me to have a seat and relax while they sent a crane into the deep warehouse recesses to pull out the two slabs of Brown Latte quartzite left in stock.
Then one of the staff members walked me back through the slabs,
I shall leave out the details of the conversation that ensued between myself and the stone company rep except to say that the rep had called his company's wholesaler and found out that the wholesaler had a couple of slabs of Brown Latte quartzite in stock and so the stone company rep exhorted me, if I still wanted Brown Latte for my replacement countertops, to boogie-oogie immediately to the stone wholesaler's warehouse at the other end of the county and lay claim to one of the remaining Brown Latte slabs because if the warehouse order was made by today then the stone company could absolutely have my countertops installed by next week.
And so drop everything and boogie-oogie across the county I did, because I did still want Brown Latte, I loved my Brown Latte, and I must have arrived at the wholesaler's warehouse looking as frazzled as I was feeling as several of the staff immediately came to my assistance and offered me something to drink.
Anyway, I told the kind warehouse staffers my tale of woe while they shook their heads in what I took for disbelief and sympathy. They told me to have a seat and relax while they sent a crane into the deep warehouse recesses to pull out the two slabs of Brown Latte quartzite left in stock.
Then one of the staff members walked me back through the slabs,
....to where the pieces of Brown Latte had been set up for my inspection. I could choose whichever piece I preferred for the fabrication of my new set of countertops.
The staffer showed me the two Brown Latte Quartzite slabs. But instead of something closely akin to the light, creamy, subtle stone that I'd fallen in love with and chosen for my first round of countertops,
The staffer showed me the two Brown Latte Quartzite slabs. But instead of something closely akin to the light, creamy, subtle stone that I'd fallen in love with and chosen for my first round of countertops,
...what I saw before me was this:
...and this:
Two slabs of loud, black-veined stone that made me think of spider webs.
"No, no," I said, "these can't be Brown Latte! Neither of these look remotely like what I chose last time!"
I went on to describe to the staffer what the stone in my kitchen counters looked like.
"Oh, oh, oh," said the staffer. "Yes, I recall what you're describing." The staffer sighed. "That particular piece of Brown Latte that you got was from a very unique and unusual lot. I doubt we'll get anything like that lot again." They pointed to the two slabs before me. "This is a more typical Brown Latte lot."
I didn't tell the staffer that I hated both those pieces of Brown Latte, but I expect they could tell.
"Would you like to pick out something else?" they asked.
I told them I guessed I would.
I walked up and down the aisles, down-in-the-mouth, not liking anything I saw,
"No, no," I said, "these can't be Brown Latte! Neither of these look remotely like what I chose last time!"
I went on to describe to the staffer what the stone in my kitchen counters looked like.
"Oh, oh, oh," said the staffer. "Yes, I recall what you're describing." The staffer sighed. "That particular piece of Brown Latte that you got was from a very unique and unusual lot. I doubt we'll get anything like that lot again." They pointed to the two slabs before me. "This is a more typical Brown Latte lot."
I didn't tell the staffer that I hated both those pieces of Brown Latte, but I expect they could tell.
"Would you like to pick out something else?" they asked.
I told them I guessed I would.
I walked up and down the aisles, down-in-the-mouth, not liking anything I saw,
...because, amidst the hundreds of pieces of granite, quartzite, quartz and dolomite, nothing was like what I wanted,
...which was what I already had.
Then suddenly, there amidst the stones, it came to me like a beam of illumination: Maybe the purpose of all of this was to teach me a lesson.
I just can't figure out what it is.
To be continued...
I just can't figure out what it is.
To be continued...
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