It's early June and though most of the commencement ceremonies are now over,
...this year's graduates continue to be celebrated with banners,
...many good wishes for bright and happy futures,
(For anyone who might be interested, here are the links to my commencement speeches from 2015 and 2016. I believe in June of 2017 I, along with much of the country, was still at a loss for words):
I post my yearly commencement speech around this time of year as a benefaction to young graduates, a few words of advice that might not have been covered by the keynote speakers at their commencement ceremonies.
So, 2018 graduates, here is my commencement speech to you:
1. When you hand a person working behind a cash register several dollar bills be sure to first flatten out the bills and proffer them with all the bills facing the same side up and the same direction. It's polite and considerate and easier for the cashier to place into the drawer.
This same principle holds true for determining whether a cantaloupe is ripe.
9. Consider the famous quote by some unknown sage: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." You shouldn't necessarily live by those words. Just keep them in mind. And be careful what you do say. Don't say everything you're thinking. Unless it's something kind.
10. And be extra careful what you email, post or text. Never email, post or text anything that would be disastrous if it went viral. (I know you already know this, just a friendly reminder).
11. Don't hook up and don't be a friend with benefits.
Though prevalent, widespread and, I guess, socially acceptable, hooking up and FWBing are bad ideas. You can't sleep you way to love or friendship.
13. No matter how much you like or dislike somebody, nobody’s all good or all bad. (Or almost nobody).
15. Read a local newspaper - online is fine - and a national news source. Keep up with and care about what's going on in our nation and the world even if world events don't yet affect you. Because they will eventually.
It just makes you these guys.
18. Look up Randy Rainbow's videos on Youtube.
Rainbow, Randy, "The Kim Davis Cell Block Tango," https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14C3TZg6NQM