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MY 2021 COMMENCEMENT SPEECH
As I do every year at this time when yet another graduating class ends one chapter of life to begin the next, I will now endeavor to offer the 2021 graduates a few words of worldly wisdom and advice to help them along their way on subjects that might not be covered by the keynote speakers at their socially-distanced commencement ceremonies.
And so here it is, my 2021 Commencement Speech:
2. When you go shopping or to the movies or to the gym or anywhere where you park in a parking lot, park as far as possible from the building. The extra walking will do you good.
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. Cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and spray with olive oil.
4. Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow out.
5. It's not how you start, it's how you finish.
6. Make lists. Lists make life so much easier to navigate.
7. Before using a public bathroom always check first to make sure there is paper in the stall,
8. Buy a subscription to an actual newspaper, either in print or online.
9. Remember that there are all kinds of people living in countries other than ours. Remember that we are not the only people in the world and ours is not the only country or culture on the planet.
10. Consider this quote:
12. And most important, we'll break free from the coronavirus only when we're all vaccinated. It is in the unvaccinated population that the coronavirus can proliferate and mutate into more contagious, potentially worse, potentially vaccine - resistant strains. So, GET YOUR COVID VACCINE SHOT! Do it for yourself, your family, and your community.
13. And finally: Remember, no matter how great, brilliant, and powerful we human beings may be, we do not rule the world. The microbes rule the world and they always will.
Congratulations, class of 2021. May life treat you kindly from now on. And may next year bring you a healthy world.