My 2023 Commencement Speech

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​MY 2023 COMMENCEMENT SPEECH

     The end of May is upon us, the planet has - in the parlance of that renowned wordsmith Richard Rodgers - somersaulted another circle 'round the sun, and now another class of graduates is donning caps and gowns to attend commencement ceremonies,​

...where they'll receive their well-earned diplomas and hear speeches by persons of great accomplishment and/or celebrity who will hopefully impart to them some words of worldly wisdom and advice to help them on their way.
       And though I can't claim any great accomplishment or celebrity, still I'll venture, as I do  this time every year, to offer the class of 2023 a few words of hopefully helpful wisdom and advice of my own on subjects that might not be covered by the keynote speakers at their commencement ceremonies.
       So, for all the new grads our there, here it is, my 2023 Commencement Speech:

      1. Try oven-roasting corn on the cob.

      Not only does this make for delicious, appealing corn on the cob, but you can generally cook more ears at once by roasting them on a couple of pans in the oven  than by boiling them in a pot on the the stovetop. Plus, they come out of the oven already buttered, salted, and ready to nosh. Here's the method: 
         Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
         Husk the corn.
         Line a pan with aluminum foil.
         Coat the aluminum foil with cooking spray
         Brush each ear of corn with melted or softened butter (or margarine) and salt to taste.
         Place the corn on the pan and roast for 20 minutes.
         Enjoy!

​          2.  When someone says "Thank you" to you, respond with "You're welcome." Or you could also say, "Pleasure's mine." Or "Glad to." Even "No problem" is okay, as are any number of other gracious responses: 

      But do not respond to "Thank you" with "Yeah," or "Yep," or "Uh-huh," or any other ungracious response that suggests that you gave what you gave or did what you did with a dollop, large or small, of annoyance or resentment. In fact, even if you did feel annoyance or resentment in having to give or do what you gave or did, make the Herculean effort to respond politely to any sincerely offered "Thank you." (Even if - especially if - it's from a relative).

      3. Keep in mind this poem by Emily Dickenson:
            You cannot put a fire out - a thing that can ignite,
             Can go itself without a fan upon the slowest night 
             You cannot fold a flood and put it in your drawer
             Because the winds would find it out and tell your cedar floor.

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     4. Don't look for the perfect job. Just doing something is always better than doing nothing.

     5.  Stop and think before you say something mean or harsh or snarky to another person. You may not realize how hurtful or offensive your words might be. And though you may forget or toss off what you once said to another person, that person may never forget what you said to them or the sting of your words.

      
​     6. Try a PfitB and Fruit Sandwich

       For a delicious, lower - waay lower! - calorie substitute for a PB&J sandwich, try PfitB or PB2 peanut butter powder (reconstituted with water),

...drizzled over fresh berries on bread and eaten sandwich-style. You save so many calories that you can even, as I do, sprinkle the "peanut butter" and berries with a little sugar and cinnamon.  It is unimaginably delicious! You'll never go back to peanut butter and jelly!

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​      7. If you accidentally say or do something wrong, just do that best you can to make it as right as you can, because that's all you can do. Half of life is conducting mop-up operations

 
​    8. Whenever you have company in your home make sure that your bathroom is sufficiently stocked with toilet paper. There's nothing worse than using someone's commode then realizing there's no TP on the roll.

​     9. Be wary of persuading, badgering, or bribing people to do something they don't want to do. Even if they reluctantly agree to do it, chances are the result will not turn out as you wanted it to.

    10. Conversely, If you agree to do something, do it with a good attitude. Something that's done with a bad attitude tends not to turn out well.

​    11. Learn to stifle the tendency to give advice. Just because someone shares a problem with you it doesn't mean they're asking you for advice. Usually they're not.

    12.  If you read a book that you really enjoy, whether it's by a great, famous author,

...or by a humble unknown,

...leave the book that you loved a five-star review somewhere online: Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, or Bookbub; or better yet, if you really love the book (or the author), all of the above. Brief is fine - Just a few positive words are more helpful to and appreciated by an author than you can imagine (Especially if the author is a humble unknown). 

​     13. I know it's been said before, but it's worth saying again: tomorrow is another day. Look past the rough times to better, brighter days ahead. They will come. I promise.

         
​         Best wishes, 2023 graduates! Go out and conquer the world!