Nix On Fix NICS

    Well, it appears that a bipartisan group of Senators has come up with something they're calling a gun control bill. They even gave it a spiffy title: the "Fix NICS Act" - get it? It rhymes!
   What the Fix NICS Act entails is encouraging states to make extra sure that all criminal and mental illness records are uploaded into the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) so that the bad guys with criminal and mental records (notice I said bad guys - that's because all the mass shootings so far have been committed by guys  - mass murder appears not to be a girl thing) won't be able to buy weapons from stores.  
   However bad guys who haven't gotten around to acquiring a criminal or mental record - such as the Las Vegas shooter Stephen Paddock, a 64-year-old retired real estate dealer and perpetrator of the deadliest mass shooting rampage in U.S. history - will still be able to acquire bushels of assault rifles that can hit over 50 people in under a minute.
     Also, bad guys who do happen to have a criminal record will still be able to buy their assault weapons without a background check from gun shows or online, since requiring background checks for gun purchases from those outlets is not, alas, included in the bill.
      So I think that, quite frankly, the Senators who proposed Fix NICS and are already patting themselves on the back over it are going to a lot of effort for not a lot of outcome; in fact, I could think of a couple of much simpler and  more sensible and effective pieces of legislation:
     1. The "Catch AR 15 Act."
     This law would acknowledge the obvious fact that an assault rifle - the weapon of choice of contemporary American mass murderers - has only one purpose: to kill people. Pulverize them. En masse. There's something mentally wrong with somebody who'd want to buy a gun the only purpose of which is to pulverize people. Therefore anybody who tries to purchase an assault rifle should automatically be labeled a mental case and have their name entered on the NICS no-buy list. On the other hand, anyone who has no desire to own such a weapon is probably sane enough to be allowed to own one.
     2. The "Pink Act"
      This law would supercede all existing gun regulations. Under The Pink Act anybody could own a gun, no regulations, no background checks, no restrictions. However the Pink Act will require that all guns must be pink. Bright pink.  All over.
     Hand guns must be pink with butterflies.
     Rifles must be pink with Hello Kittys.
     Assault rifles must be pink with My Little Ponies.
    A percentage from the sale of each gun, whether it be from a store, gun show or online must be donated to breast cancer research as a tribute to women for not one woman ever having committed a mass murder.
     And as for Fix NICS, it needs to get sent back to the drawing board for a little muscle.

References:
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/senators-near-bipartisan-deal-gun-control-sources-say-n821256

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/15/opinion/virginia-baseball-shooting-gun-shot-wounds.html

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