...Continued from yesterday:
So then, yesterday, after complaining my way through painting the second and first floor hallway ceilings - complaining to no one, that is, as the only other person in the house was Tom,
So then, yesterday, after complaining my way through painting the second and first floor hallway ceilings - complaining to no one, that is, as the only other person in the house was Tom,
| ...who was down in the basement busy complaining his way - also to nobody - through painting the walls down there - |  |
...then it was time to start complaining my way through painting the second and first floor hallway walls, though painting the walls, I knew, would be ten times more complaint-worthy than painting the ceiling had been, since I'd resigned myself to the fact that I was going to do use the same faux glaze wall covering technique that I'd used the last time I painted the hallway walls ten years ago,
| ... a silver glaze over an antique white base, |  |
...which involved:
1. Buying the undercoat paint and a gallon of the faux glaze, and an extra quart of white paint to mix with the glaze,
2. Acquiring a bucket with which to mix the faux glaze and the white paint,
3. Acquiring whatever implement you choose with which to apply the glaze to get the desired design effect on the wall,
4. Applying the base coat color (or two coats) of paint to the wall,
5. Mixing in the acquired bucket the one gallon of faux glaze with the one quart of white paint,
6. Applying the faux glaze over the base coat. In my case this involved donning a pair of latex gloves and dipping a piece of terry cloth into the glaze then whisking it in swirled cloud designs upon the wall. About twenty thousand whisks before the job was done.
It's really a slow, annoying, painstaking process. But on the other hand:
1. I liked the final outcome, and,
2. Choosing the same thing I already had, however much work involved, liberated me from having to make a decision over choosing something new.
So I decided to bite the bullet and once again, albeit reluctantly, drag myself through the faux glaze wall covering effect ordeal.
However before I left for Home Depot to buy the necessary supplies I stepped out into the back yard where Tom had taken a break from painting the basement to cut the grass to complain to him and make sure my spouse was well aware how poorly I was going to be suffering this whole upcoming process.
But when I arrived at the paint department of Home Depot to seek out the implements of my torture I was told that said implements are no longer in stock at that store. "We don't carry faux anymore," the paint department associate informed me. "Why don't you try the Sherwin Williams store down the road?"
I found it supremely annoying that I had to make a second trip, to the Sherwin Williams store down the road, for what Home Depot should have been carrying.
But my annoyance soared off the charts when the friendly, helpful Sherwin Williams associate informed me that Sherwin Williams likewise no longer carried faux supplies, hadn't carried that stuff for years. "Nobody does anymore," said the associate.
"But why?" I demanded.
"Well," said the associate, now joined by a second associate who might have feared that his co-worker was about to be pounced on by a difficult customer, "people found the process too hard."
"Oh, for crying our loud," I snipped, "it isn't that hard!"
"I know, I know," sympathized the associate, who looked as if he'd like to pat my hand.
"There were just too many steps involved for most people," added the second, equally sympathetic associate, some sadness in his voice.
"Well, if I could do it..." I left it at that, realizing two things:
1. That I was starting to sound kind of ridiculous, and
2. That I was now freed from having to do the faux glaze wall covering thing! It was out of my hands! It was fate!
However now I was faced with the task of having to make a decision on what color to paint the walls,
1. Buying the undercoat paint and a gallon of the faux glaze, and an extra quart of white paint to mix with the glaze,
2. Acquiring a bucket with which to mix the faux glaze and the white paint,
3. Acquiring whatever implement you choose with which to apply the glaze to get the desired design effect on the wall,
4. Applying the base coat color (or two coats) of paint to the wall,
5. Mixing in the acquired bucket the one gallon of faux glaze with the one quart of white paint,
6. Applying the faux glaze over the base coat. In my case this involved donning a pair of latex gloves and dipping a piece of terry cloth into the glaze then whisking it in swirled cloud designs upon the wall. About twenty thousand whisks before the job was done.
It's really a slow, annoying, painstaking process. But on the other hand:
1. I liked the final outcome, and,
2. Choosing the same thing I already had, however much work involved, liberated me from having to make a decision over choosing something new.
So I decided to bite the bullet and once again, albeit reluctantly, drag myself through the faux glaze wall covering effect ordeal.
However before I left for Home Depot to buy the necessary supplies I stepped out into the back yard where Tom had taken a break from painting the basement to cut the grass to complain to him and make sure my spouse was well aware how poorly I was going to be suffering this whole upcoming process.
But when I arrived at the paint department of Home Depot to seek out the implements of my torture I was told that said implements are no longer in stock at that store. "We don't carry faux anymore," the paint department associate informed me. "Why don't you try the Sherwin Williams store down the road?"
I found it supremely annoying that I had to make a second trip, to the Sherwin Williams store down the road, for what Home Depot should have been carrying.
But my annoyance soared off the charts when the friendly, helpful Sherwin Williams associate informed me that Sherwin Williams likewise no longer carried faux supplies, hadn't carried that stuff for years. "Nobody does anymore," said the associate.
"But why?" I demanded.
"Well," said the associate, now joined by a second associate who might have feared that his co-worker was about to be pounced on by a difficult customer, "people found the process too hard."
"Oh, for crying our loud," I snipped, "it isn't that hard!"
"I know, I know," sympathized the associate, who looked as if he'd like to pat my hand.
"There were just too many steps involved for most people," added the second, equally sympathetic associate, some sadness in his voice.
"Well, if I could do it..." I left it at that, realizing two things:
1. That I was starting to sound kind of ridiculous, and
2. That I was now freed from having to do the faux glaze wall covering thing! It was out of my hands! It was fate!
However now I was faced with the task of having to make a decision on what color to paint the walls,
 | ...with only 10,000 colors to choose from. |
| I took home a few possibilities to cogitate over, |  |
...and probably all would have been well had I not succumbed to the need to once again grab Tom, all sweaty and tired as he finished up the grass cutting before getting back to his painting, and gripe to him about how nobody carries faux supplies any more because people (unlike moi), don't have the discipline, the ethic required for the task.
Then, feeling relieved of the burden of needing to dredge up the discipline and ethic required to create a faux glaze wall covering look, I returned to the house to take on the burden of choosing a color for my upstairs and downstairs hallways.
"Wait, wait," called Tom, following up behind me, "don't we have some of that glaze left over from last time out in the garage?"
"What? No. I don't think so," I replied, thinking that we'd gotten rid of that item during a recent old-paint-purge.
"Let me look," offered my oh-so-accommodating mate, who, sure enough, retrieved from the garage an almost-full can of the silver faux glaze I'd used last time, along with an unopened jar of gold glaze I must have thought I'd use on some other wall before I realized what a pain the faux glaze wall covering process was.
Then, feeling relieved of the burden of needing to dredge up the discipline and ethic required to create a faux glaze wall covering look, I returned to the house to take on the burden of choosing a color for my upstairs and downstairs hallways.
"Wait, wait," called Tom, following up behind me, "don't we have some of that glaze left over from last time out in the garage?"
"What? No. I don't think so," I replied, thinking that we'd gotten rid of that item during a recent old-paint-purge.
"Let me look," offered my oh-so-accommodating mate, who, sure enough, retrieved from the garage an almost-full can of the silver faux glaze I'd used last time, along with an unopened jar of gold glaze I must have thought I'd use on some other wall before I realized what a pain the faux glaze wall covering process was.
"But that stuff's ten years old," I countered, "it's not gonna be good anymore."
"We'll check," said Tom, prying open the paint can.
"We'll check," said Tom, prying open the paint can.
 | Though the can rim was rusty the paint inside was perfectly usable, and there was more than enough for the job. |
"You're good to go," exclaimed my pleased other half as he awaited the exuberantly happy response on my part that didn't quite materialize.
(Sigh). So I'm going to go with the faux glaze wall covering. Because, in truth, all the travail involved in that unsavory undertaking is for me still easier than having to make yet another decision in my life.
(Sigh). So I'm going to go with the faux glaze wall covering. Because, in truth, all the travail involved in that unsavory undertaking is for me still easier than having to make yet another decision in my life.
 |  |
Mayhaps what I need is not a new coat of paint on my walls but an analyst.
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