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The Rootin' Tootin' Tesla

9/25/2019

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     You may not believe the following - I did not believe it myself at first, and, in truth, still can't quite wrap my head around it - but what I'm about to tell you is the truth.
      (And when I say "truth," I'm not talking about Donald Trump Truth. I'm talking about real truth).
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    Anyway, my daughter and son-in-law bought an electric car, a self-driving Tesla.
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     Now, this car is technologically state-of-the art. It doesn't even use a key. It uses - well, I don't exactly remember what my daughter said it uses, a phone app, or something.  And there are no buttons, knobs, or any other gadgets on the dash board, other than a large screen.
     "It's kind of like being in your living room," said my daughter.
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     Apparently you communicate with the screen and the screen communicates with you.
     This latest model of self-driving Tesla, the most scientifically advanced automotive vehicle in history, designed by the most brilliant engineers from around the planet, includes a number of ultra-high-tech features. Among these ultra-high-tech features is something called Emissions Testing Mode.
      What Emissions Testing Mode actually is, is an option to transform the seats into whoopie cushions.
      You can also program the turn signal sound like a big toot. Or a small one.
       And you can choose from a variety of gassy sound options.
       I swear I'm not making this up; look, here it is on the screen of my daughter and son-in-law's car:

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     You can even choose which seat you want to cause to shoot a bunny by moving the whoopie cushion icon around, enabling one to randomly embarrass one's passengers.
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     And, granting the request of one Tesla owner, the inventor Elon Musk even made the Emissions Testing Mode available on the mobile app so one can prank one's significant other remotely.
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      So that's my true story. Perhaps you like, myself, are asking how, and why, on earth would the group of international geniuses who designed the Tesla think of including on most scientifically cutting-edge vehicle ever invented a Fart on Demand feature?
       Well, I don't know. Like I said, I can't wrap my head around it.
       But my two little grand daughters sure do love it.

Reference:
https://mashable.com/article/tesla-fart-mode/

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