So, having done a batch of online research about the Squatty Potty, I came to three conclusions:
1. The Squatty Potty is the wonder non-drug of the century,
2. It is being promoted online exclusively by young, hip, good-looking people*:
Turns out you can order one from squattypotty.com or from Amazon. Or you can pick one up at Bed Bath And Beyond or Target.
Guess where I bought mine from?
And so, along with wanting to buy a Squatty Potty, I also kind of wanted to stop into the Easton Town Center Target restroom to see if there was any trouble brewing amongst the pottys there. There wasn't.
Hmmmm, not hip, thought I.
Still, she was friendly enough and helpfully called on her intercom and the youngster who replied said that, yes, they carried Squatty Pottys but that he thought they were all out. No wait, he said, he just found a couple.
Feeling satisfied and justified, I made my way to the Squatty Potty aisle.
I brought my Squatty Pottys home and put them in two of my three bathrooms where they fit neatly under the pot when not in use.
Eh, to tell you the truth, I've been using them for a couple of days now and so far they haven't exactly rocked my world. But maybe that's because my world hasn't yet needed to be un-rocked. So to speak.
But in the meantime they're fine. They work. I guess. I don't really know.
But I'm going to keep my Squatty Pottys, and I'm going to use them, as I've become a disciple of the ideology that we all should be using squat toilets in some format, as a preventative measure if nothing else. You don't want to mess with the process of elimination.
Then said they, “What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him?” They answered, “Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice, according to the number of the lords of the Philistines; for one plague was on you all and on your lords. 1 Samuel 6:24, 21st Century Version (KJ21).
You seriously would not believe some of the stuff you find when you read The Bible cover-to-cover.
* In fact it seems like more young people know about the Squatty Potty than older folks - maybe because of the funny commercial and the internet presence. Most of my own kids had heard of it and think it's a cool item, whereas none of the Posse members had heard of it and were more skeptical - as was I at first - when I told them about it and its function.