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This past Saturday night I saw "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri."  As I was leaving the theater it occurred to me that what this movie really needed was a drinking game to go with it.
 - Every time a character assaults another character and suffers no legal consequences, take a drink. - Every time a character damages or destroys another character's property and suffers no legal consequences, take a drink. - If the police either know for sure or have a pretty good idea who committed an assault and/or act of destruction and make no arrest, take two drinks. - If the police witness an assault and/or act of destruction and make no arrest, take three drinks.  - If there are witnesses to an assault or act of destruction and nobody calls 911 (probably because the police never arrest anybody, anyway), take a drink. - If it's a horrendous assault and/or act of destruction and everybody, including the police, knows who did it but nobody gets arrested, chug the rest of the cup you're working on. 
 - Every time a person says or does something that nobody would say or do in real life, take a drink. - If an assault victim appears not to particularly mind that they've been assaulted or hold any hard feelings against their assailant, take two drinks. 
 - Every time Frances McDormand smiles, take a drink. -Every time you find yourself wondering how her character can afford to support herself and her son on the job she has, take a drink. -Every time you find yourself wondering if her job provides health or dental insurance, take a drink. 
 If you find yourself baffled at how the opioid epidemic managed to miss this place, especially with all the trauma and painful injuries the townsfolk are all the time inflicting on each other, chug it all. Anyone who plays the "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" drinking game observantly will be sloshed by the end of the movie. But by the end of this movie that's probably the best way to be.
29 Comments
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11/21/2024 09:42:08 am
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1/20/2026 10:17:29 am
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1/21/2026 11:07:45 am
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1/23/2026 10:10:43 am
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