Where Was Her Mother?

11/17/2014

    Last week a woman publicly accused Bill Cosby of drugging and raping her on multiple occasions when she was a 17-year-old aspiring actress supposedly under his mentorship. Barabara Bowman has come forward to tell her story of how in 1985 an agent discovered her in Denver, Colorado and basically gave her as a present to Bill Cosby.
    Ms. Bowman's allegations line up with those of a dozen other women who over the years have claimed that they were sexually molested by Cosby. His reported method was the same in every case: drug, then rape. I expect the idea was to render his victim first helpless then later disoriented and unsure of what had happened.
    Though young, confused, frightened and psychologically manipulated, Barbara Bowman eventually told her agent that Cosby had drugged and raped her a number of times. Her agent blew her off.
    She told a lawyer, who laughed at her.
    She told her friends, who didn't know what to do.
    Which begs the question: Of all the people she told, why didn't she tell her mother?
    In fact, where was her mother in the picture?
    In an interview with the British publication Mail Online Ms. Bowman said:
   "Whenever he'd be in Denver for work, he'd make it a point to meet me, give me acting lessons, and eventually this lead to him flying me all over the country to join him. He flew me to Lake Tahoe to attend the John Denver Celebrity Ski Classic. He arranged for me to see Broadway shows in New York. He brought me to Hilton Head, South Carolina, to watch him perform and attend a star-studded golf tournament. He said it was all part of his assessment to see if I was worth mentoring and grooming. He wanted to see how I handled myself around celebrities."
    This girl was 17 years old. Bill Cosby was rich, famous, middle-aged and married. Did her mother really not have a clue why her daughter was on his arm?
    Why did Barbara Bowman's mother allow her daughter to be taken to New York and set up in an apartment by Cosby? And why didn't she at least sit her daughter down some time before she left and lecture her on the facts of life? Why didn't she lay out objectively for her daughter the position she'd now be in, living alone in New York off the financial support of this man, surrounded by people whose high-paid job it was to do his bidding? Why didn't she warn her daughter to be on her guard for the dangers and the predators, why didn't she arm her daughter with some scenarios of right and wrong? Why didn't she teach her daughter about personal safety, and instill in her a sense of her personal worth, and tell her that her worth that was more important than getting an easy foot in the show-business door? Why didn't she tell her daughter that if she really had what people in the business wanted then then she didn't need to be hanging on to Bill Cosby to make it? Why didn't her mother sense there was something off in the whole situation?
    Why, before she allowed he daughter to set foot on that plane to New York, didn't she drill it into her to call, anytime day or night, if anything was ever wrong?
    Why wasn't Barbara's mother calling her day and night to check on her?
    Why didn't her mother do something?!
    I don't know the answers to any of those questions. Because I don't know anything about Barbara Bowman's mother. In fact Ms. Bowman referred to her mother only briefly in one of her interviews, one time mentioning that she had no father in her life, another time another time telling of how Bill Cosby used to take her mother and grandmother on trips and how he used to fly her mother to New York to see Broadway shows, thus winning her mother and grandmother's trust.
    Or perhaps he was buying it.
    Anyway, to me Barbara Bowman's story is one of a vulnerable young person who had no one watching out for her well-being, no advocate, which made her a prime target for a predator.
      And so again I ask: Where was her mother?

References :
1. "Barbara Naff Reveals Her Years Of Rape At The Hands Of Bill Cosby," Lycia Naff, Mail Online,October 27, 2014

2. "Actress Barbara Bowman Details Years Of Alleged Rape By Bill Cosby", The Urban Daily, October 29, 2014

3. "Woman says ‘I was terrified of him,’ goes public with rape allegations against Bill Cosby", Fox 8 WGHP from CNN wire, November 14, 2014

4 Comments

Romaine

11/17/2014 10:59:58 pm

It's hard to know what happened with Barbara's mom- but your blog brings to mind a project I worked on last summer on recovery from childhood sexual abuse. Studies show that 1 in 4 females and 1 in 6 males will be victims of SA by time they are 18. One of the things I discovered during the research was that sexual abuse often occurs through several generations. There are a few reasons behind this - most often the abuser is someone in the family or a family friend and nobody wants to deal with that so a mother /father will dismiss the allegations of a daughter or act like it's no big deal. So the girl swallows down her pain. A victim of abuse is more likely to get into abusive relationships if left untreated. So now her children are at risk. When her child tells her about sexual abuse - she thinks it's expected behavior now and -tells the girl to forget about, and the cycle of abuse goes on like that.

Patti

11/18/2014 12:46:13 am

It's unbelievable how much pain is swallowed down in this world. I believe when you get your degree you are going to have your work cut out for you.

Harry Seldon

2/3/2016 03:25:10 am

It's very understandable if you censor my humble opinion but sometime truth is unpopular. My analysis is as follows:
The Daily Mail mentions the mysterious Bowman mother, and writes:
"Barbara said that because Cosby befriended her mother and grandparents, and even flew mom and daughter to Broadway shows, complete with limo treatment ...".

I am quite sure that Barbara Bowman's (BB's) mother has told BB to leave her out of all this. Her mother doesn't want to be involved and doesn't want media mention. The most likely reason the media doesn’t ask about BB’s mother is simple. BB has given them instructions not to ask about her.
The excuse will be that her mother feels responsible and ashamed at not helping her back in 1985-1987. But I think there is far more to it than that. I think her mother would have known everything that was going on - and giving BB much advice during her years of seeing Cosby.
BB’s mother is kept very secret and the real reason is complex. My guess is that years earlier, her mother separated from her father acrimoniously and her mother became annoyed and distrustful of men. Her father or mother or both may have had some serious faults or incompatibilities. A single mother who produced an angry woman like Barbara Bowman is a strong indication that Barbara grew up under a mother who was angry about her ex-partner. I believe she was a mother who instilled in her daughter a negative image of men. If true, she was brought up in an environment where males were not to be trusted. She is of the generation that has introduced third wave feminism, the myth of the patriarchy and the myth of rape-culture.
It’s clear that her mother was ambitious for Barbara because Barbara had her own agent at age 13. Her mother would have been the main person who made the decision for her daughter to meet Cosby.
When BB was spending time with Cosby, during the years 1985-1987, I think her mother was coaching her as to what to say, what to wear, how to behave etc. did. I believe mum was the coach and her daughter believed in the cause. My theory on the ‘cause’ comes later but it is easy to guess, a common and perfectly legal cause.
I believe BB and her mother discussed each date with Cosby. After all, BB was living with her mother, BB is an only child and her mother is a single parent. Why was her mother so keen for Barbara to develop a relationship with Cosby? I don't think it was just to get a head start in the acting profession. Very few make it big in the acting profession. I believe that her mother was encouraging a much surer path to riches.
If Cosby was drugging and raping Barbara - would MUM have just stayed silent for two years?
Of course not. The bond between mother and daughter would be great in their circumstances. The reason why the media are not inquisitive enough to question BB about her mother is because in the Internet age the media has very fierce competition. The media is willing to pay large amounts for an interview with a significant public drawcard and it is very important to placate such a person. In addition, many of the public have sympathy for women who claim victimhood and many would be angry if she was questioned in the manner of a prosecutor. Barbara has power with the media and she can stipulate conditions for her questioning.
What was the primary aim of BB’s mother and why did she allow her daughter to fraternise with a much older married man?
Women have won huge payouts from divorces/pregnancies with wealthy men and Bowman's mother would have loved her daughter to get pregnant to a man like Cosby.
This seems obvious to me and I wonder why I don't see this line of reasoning more often. BB's mother probably advised BB to give Cosby quality sex after convincing him she's on the pill. Mum's advice: marriage would be great, but most importantly, get pregnant.
The trouble is, Cosby knew about such women ... gold diggers. He made sure he DIDN'T get her pregnant. The affair had to end because Cosby would have learned to recognise a gold digger.
Lastly we should think about why BB was refused to be represented by attorneys she complained to about Cosby. It’s simply because the circumstances with Cosby and with her mother were such that any Cosby defence attorney would have torn her case apart. She would have been portrayed badly but more importantly, her mother would have been made to look very bad. Her mother would have been made to look like she was using her daughter to feather her own nest. I believe the main person who put the brakes on BB’s quest to take Cosby to court would have been her mother.

2/3/2016 06:03:45 am

Thanks for your observations and input, Harry.

Where Was Her Mother?

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